Blood is Thicker Than Water
by ellsbells10
Summary: Cate gives Lux up for adoption. But, Lux's surgery goes wrong and Cate is needed to save Lux's life.
1. Happy Birthday

**Cate's 17****th**** Birthday**

Cate Cassidy groaned. The digital display on her alarm clock read _5:06_. She didn't have to get up until 7:00 for school.

She was so tired. She just felt exhausted all the time. But she woke up early _every_ morning feeling sick to her stomach. Morning sickness, Cate thought bitterly as she dashed to the bathroom.

Cate's eyes caught her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She winced.

She was starting to show. It was getting more and more difficult to cover her growing stomach for school.

That was just what she needed. She'd never been popular. The hideous headgear she'd been forced to wear until junior year made sure of that. All she needed was for her classmates to realize she was pregnant. She'd be even more of an outcast.

"Cate?" Abby's hesitant voice came from outside the bathroom door.

Cate opened the door and stared at her little sister expectantly.

"Happy birthday," Abby said softly.

"Yeah, it's really happy," Cate said sarcastically.

Abby frowned. She and Cate had always been close, but when Cate got pregnant everything changed.

When Abby tried to be part of Cate's life, Cate always acted like Abby was too young and immature to possibly understand what Cate was going through.

Abby brightened. She was really excited to give Cate her birthday presents. She and Laverne had put a lot of time and thought into finding the perfect gifts. "Do you want to open your birthday presents?"

Unless they'd built her a time machine, Cate didn't imagine presents would help her mood. She nodded, though, not wanting to hurt Abby's feelings.

Abby grinned and led the way to the kitchen.

"Good morning," Laverne greeted her daughters. She'd woken up early to make breakfast for Cate's birthday. Or, at least, to try to make breakfast. Laverne glanced regretfully at the burnt French toast.

"Morning," Abby and Cate replied.

"Happy birthday," Laverne said to Cate.

"Thanks," Cate said dully.

"Here. Open this first." Abby handed Cate a pink envelope.

Cate obliged. She found a gift certificate for Barnes & Noble inside the birthday card.

"Thanks," Cate said politely.

"I know you can't do a lot this summer, so I thought you could get some books to read," Abby said nervously, trying to gauge whether Cate liked the gift or not.

"Thanks," Cate said again. She picked up another envelope and opened it. It contained a gym membership.

"We thought you would want to work out, you know, to lose the baby weight," Laverne said gently.

Cate knew Laverne meant well and she did want to lose the weight, but the gift felt more like a reminder that she was pregnant and putting on pounds than a birthday present.

Cate nodded.

Cate forced herself to eat Laverne's French toast even though it tasted like cardboard.

After breakfast, Cate rummaged through her closet for something, anything that would fit and cover her stomach. She studied herself in the full length mirror on the back of her bedroom door and sighed. She didn't look good, but you couldn't tell she was pregnant.

* * *

Cate sat down beside her best friend, Alice, in the front of their first class. Alice smiled brightly. "Happy birthday."

Cate returned the smile. "Thanks."

"One of the football players is having a party tonight. Do you want to go?" Alice asked.

"No," Cate replied quickly.

Alice gave her an odd look. "I know you're busy studying, but you have to take a break and do something fun for your birthday."

Cate could think of more appropriate words than fun to describe going to a party, but she wouldn't be able to explain her reluctance. Cate hadn't told anyone from school that she was pregnant. Not even Alice.

She couldn't exactly tell Alice that she didn't want to go because she couldn't wear anything cute, she couldn't drink and she didn't want to see Nate. Instead, she said, "My mom's taking me to dinner for my birthday."

Alice gave up. She didn't know why, but Cate never wanted to hang out anymore.

When the bell rang, Cate gathered her things and navigated the crowded hallway. She saw Nate Basille holding court by his locker. He locked eyes with her.

Cate's expression instantly iced over, but Nate missed the dirty look she shot him. He'd averted his eyes and his attention was now focused on a blonde cheerleader who was flirting with him shamelessly.

"Unbelievable," Cate muttered under her breath.

"What is?" Abby asked, falling into step beside her sister.

"Hmm?" Cate asked.

"You said unbelievable. What's unbelievable?" Abby asked. She blushed slightly as they passed her crush, the popular quarterback.

"Nothing," Cate lied. She hadn't told either Abby or her mother who the father was. They'd just assumed it was the school mascot who Cate had dated off-and-on again.

Abby sighed, annoyed that Cate wouldn't even talk to her. They walked the rest of the way home in silence.

* * *

Cate settled down at the kitchen table to do homework, but couldn't concentrate. You have to keep your grades up, Cate reminded herself. Graduating at the top of her class was her key to a new life. She'd been working toward the goal of getting a scholarship to an out-of-state college since freshmen year.

She wanted to leave everything behind. The alcoholic mother. The classmates who made fun of her behind her back. The father of her child who'd denied sleeping with her. She couldn't wait to walk away and never look back.

Cate forced herself to study. She was still at the table with her books spread out a few hours later when Laverne got home from work.

Cate looked up. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi," Laverne said as she poured herself a glass of wine.

Laverne sipped her wine as she hurried upstairs to her bedroom. She changed into a slutty dress designed for someone a decade younger than herself and freshened her make-up before returning to the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Cate asked when she saw her mother.

"Jimmy's taking me out to dinner," Laverne replied as she refilled her glass.

Cate frowned. Her mother was constantly on the hunt for her next husband. It was kind of depressing that her mother was going out and she was staying in.

Laverne drained her second wine glass when the doorbell rang. "Don't wait up," she told Cate as she hurried to the door.

"Where's Mom?" Abby asked when she woke up from her nap an hour later.

"Out with Jimmy," Cate replied without looking up.

"You think she'll marry him?" Abby asked conversationally.

"If he asks her," Cate said.

Abby smirked. She began moving around the kitchen, preparing dinner for herself. "Have you eaten?" She asked Cate, knowing Cate had inherited Laverne's cooking skills, or lack thereof.

"No," Cate replied.

"Want some pasta?" Abby offered.

"Yeah," Cate said gratefully.

Abby finished cooking and served them both.

"Mmm," Cate said as she took a bite. If it weren't for Abby, she knew she'd go hungry.

Abby grinned. "Are you going to Mike's party?" She asked.

"No," Cate said.

"Jenny and I are going. I like one of the football players and they'll all be there," Abby offered.

Cate frowned. "Which one do you like?"

"Baze," Abby said, smiling.

Cate's frown deepened at the mention of her baby's father. "Abby, Baze isn't a good guy."

Abby rolled her eyes. "How would you know?"

Cate swallowed. "I just know. He's in my class, not yours. I know him better than you."

"I doubt that," Abby said haughtily. She loved her sister, but Cate wasn't exactly popular.

"Stay away from Baze," Cate said firmly.

"You can't tell me what to do," Abby snapped.

Cate grabbed Abby's shoulders and gave her a hard look. "I mean it, Abby. Stay away from him!"

Abby shot Cate a dirty look before leaving for the party.

The doorbell rang. Assuming Abby forgot something, Cate opened the door.

"Hi!" Alice said, walking past Cate.

"I didn't know you were coming over," Cate said.

"I know you said your mom was taking you out to dinner, but I thought we could go to the party after. I'll wait for you to get ready," Alice explained as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Alice, wait!" Cate said, but it was too late.

Alice saw the plates on the kitchen table and stopped dead in her tracks. "Your mom didn't take you out to dinner at all, did she?"

Cate sighed. "No," she admitted.

"So it was just an excuse to avoid going out with me?" Alice demanded.

Cate bit her lip, unsure what to say.

"I don't know what your problem is, Cate. You never want to do anything anymore. Don't worry. You won't have to make up excuses anymore. I won't ask you to do anything again," Alice said angrily before storming out.

Cate felt tears welling up in her eyes. She knew she was overreacting because of the hormones, but she couldn't imagine a worse 17th birthday.

Cate was pregnant in high school. Her sister was at a party flirting with her baby's father. Her best friend would probably never speak to her again. Cate lay down on her bed and wondered how her life had come to this.

She replayed the night of Winter Formal in her head. She didn't know how she could have been so stupid as to sleep with Baze. She remembered Baze denying he'd slept with her and making fun of her at school and fresh tears stung her eyes. Cate cried herself to sleep.


	2. Summer Days

**The Last Day of Summer**

"Cate? Are you going to get out of bed today?" Laverne asked, standing as the threshold of Cate's bedroom. It was almost 2:00 pm and Cate had yet to come downstairs.

Cate lay on her bed. She'd been lying there for hours. She didn't see the point in getting up.

She couldn't leave the house looking like this. She was now nine months pregnant. Her swollen belly was huge and impossible to hide.

It's not like she had anywhere to go anyway, Cate thought bitterly. She'd never had many friends and now she had none. Not being able to tell Alice she was pregnant had ruined their friendship.

"What for?" Cate asked.

Laverne sighed. She entered Cate's bedroom and sat down beside her on the bed. "I know this is hard, but you can't stay shut up in your room."

"No? What should I do, Mom? Because school starts tomorrow and I can't go back looking like this." Cate gestured her belly miserably.

"You're due this week. You'll have the baby and go back to school in a week or two. You'll be able to catch up. You're a smart girl," Laverne said reassuringly.

"Yeah, 'cause all the smart girls get pregnant in high school," Cate said sarcastically.

"You made one mistake. It's very unlike you," Laverne said, stroking Cate's hair. "But it's not going to ruin your life."

"It already has," Cate muttered under her breath.

"What?" Laverne asked.

"Nothing," Cate mumbled.

Laverne nodded. "OK. I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

"Yeah, I need something. I need to know how to make it come out," Cate said glancing meaningfully at her stomach.

"I'm afraid there's nothing you can do. Your baby will come out when it's ready," Laverne replied.

* * *

Cate finally left her bedroom a few hours later. She was starving. She rummaged through the refrigerator and found a slice of leftover pizza.

She was sitting at the table eating greedily when Abby burst in.

Abby was wearing a bikini and her skinny fourteen-year-old body looked great. She'd been laying out in the backyard and had developed a nice golden tan. Cate couldn't help feeling a little jealous of her carefree younger sister.

Abby sat down next to Cate and smiled hesitantly. They hadn't been on the best of terms lately.

"I got my schedule today," Abby said conversationally.

"What do you have?" Cate asked politely.

"American Literature with Mrs. Mitchell, European History with Mr. Evans, Geometry with Ms. Callahan, Biology with Ms. Plum, Choir with Mrs. Parm and Weight Lifting with Mr. Anderson," Abby rattled off her schedule.

"Weight lifting?" Cate asked curiously. Abby wasn't much of an athlete.

Abby blushed. She'd chosen that elective because Baze was in it, but she would never admit that to Cate.

"I got your schedule for you, too. Mom said to tell them you have Mono," Abby said, changing the subject.

"Mono? How'd she come up with that?" Cate wondered.

"She didn't know how long you'd need to miss school." Abby shrugged.

"Neither do I. I wish it would just come out already," Cate said.

"Really?" Abby sounded surprised.

"Yes, really. What, do you think I like looking like this? Feeling like this?" Cate retorted.

"But aren't you scared?" Abby asked softly.

"Yeah," Cate admitted. She'd never been more scared before in her life. She felt so alone. She didn't know how she was going to do this by herself. But, she also wanted to get it over with.


	3. Monday

**The First Week of School: Monday**

Cate watched Abby discard several items from her closet before finally finding the perfect outfit to wear on the first day of school. Abby looked great in a denim miniskirt and navy top. The fourteen-year-old carefully applied make-up.

"You look nice," Cate observed.

"Thanks!" Abby grinned. She dug through her dresser drawers and pulled out brand new workout clothes. She ripped the tags off and tossed them in the direction of the wastebasket, but missed.

Cate bent down to retrieve the tags and groaned. Her back ached all the time now.

Cate glanced at the tag and gasped. Abby had spent a ton on the cute workout clothes even though Abby had never been much of an athlete. "Why'd you spend so much on workout clothes?" She wondered.

Abby blushed and looked down. "I just wanted to look cute."

"For who?" Cate pressed curiously.

Abby hesitated. "Promise not to get mad if I tell you?"

As realization dawned on Cate, she frowned. "Please tell me you're not still chasing after Baze."

Abby's cheeks were burning bright red.

"Abby-" Cate began.

"I don't want to hear it!" Abby cut her off. "I know what you think of him. For the record, I don't think Dewey Johnson is that great a catch but I kept my mouth shut because it's none of my business! Just like who I like is none of your business!"

Cate tried not to smile. She knew full well that the school mascot, Dewey Johnson, who she dated on-and-off-again wasn't that great a catch.

But, she also knew Baze way better than Abby could imagine. The thought of her little sister sleeping with her baby's father made her skin crawl.

"OK, can we forget for a minute that you don't like what I have to say?" Cate asked.

Abby crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly and glared at Cate.

"I know I'm not the most popular girl in my class," Cate said.

Abby snickered.

"But I am in Baze's class. Do you think maybe I know him better than you do?" Cate continued.

"Maybe," Abby admitted.

"OK, and I'm telling you he is really not a good guy. I don't want him to hurt you," Cate said.

"I can take care of myself," Abby retorted.

"That's what I thought and look at me," Cate said, motioning toward her stomach.

Abby rolled her eyes. "I'm not you, Cate! I'm not going to make the same mistakes you did. I have to go to school."

* * *

Cate flipped through the TV channels, looking for something to keep her occupied. Daytime TV sucked. During the summer, there were usually movies on. Now that it was fall Cate's only options were soap operas, cartoons and news programs. She sighed and turned the TV off.

She'd already used the gift certificate Abby had given her and read all the books she'd bought. She could always go to the library. She wouldn't see anyone since everyone else was in school.

Cate walked the short mile to the library. Along the way, she saw women walking with baby carriages. She watched them talk to their babies.

A pretty blonde cooed at her little one, who was wearing the cutest little pink jumper. Cate smiled as she passed them.

Cate wandered through the aisles in the library, looking for a good book. She chose several, knowing she would be stuck at home with nothing to do until she gave birth.

"Hi," Cate said pleasantly, as she handed her choices and her library card to the librarian, an old woman.

The old woman stared at Cate, hey eyes narrowing on Cate's belly. She pursed her lips and frowned. The girl looked much too young to be pregnant.

Cate noticed the look and blushed.

"These are due on September 29th," the librarian told Cate, her tone cold.

"Thanks," Cate mumbled, grabbing the books and hurrying out.

It was probably just Cate's imagination but she felt like everyone she passed on her way home was staring at her and judging her. She quickened her pace.

Cate didn't know if it was nerves, the fall heat or the long walk, but she was _so_ hot. She felt like she was having a heat stroke. She could feel beads of sweat rolling down her neck and back.

Even though Cate had always gotten cold easily, she'd been hot all the time that summer. Laverne had told her it was normal to get hot when you were pregnant and moved a fan into Cate's bedroom.

Cate dumped her books down on the kitchen table and hurried upstairs, eager to take a cold shower and cool off. Cate closed her eyes and let the cool, refreshing stream hit her face. It felt so good.

She lathered up, wanting to wash off since she'd gotten sweaty. She felt gross. She looked down and realized she couldn't see her toes. She wondered if she would ever regain her pre-pregnancy figure.

* * *

Cate didn't really feel like reading. Every time she picked up one of the books she'd chosen, she remembered the way the librarian had treated her.

She glanced at the clock. She couldn't believe it was only 1:00. Time sure passed slowly when you were bored out of your mind.

Cate decided to take a nap more because she didn't have anything else to do than because she was tired. She moved around in her bed, trying to get comfortable. She didn't like lying on her sides, because she felt like she was squishing the baby. She settled on her back and closed her eyes.

It felt like Cate had been lying there for hours trying to fall asleep with no luck. Her mind kept racing. She wondered how far behind she would be by the time she gave birth. Then, she wondered when she would finally give birth.

She doubted Abby would get her make-up work for her after their argument that morning. Maybe she could ask Alice. She couldn't ask Alice, she realized. Alice hadn't spoken to her since her 17th birthday.

Cate wondered what was going on at school. Were people talking about her? Did they think it was weird that she wasn't there? Was Abby making any progress with Baze?


	4. Thursday

**The First Week of School: Thursday**

Cate woke up suddenly. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She curled up in fetal position and held her belly.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the pain lessened. She lay back down and closed her eyes, wanting to go back to sleep. Her stomach cramped again when she'd just managed to get comfortable.

She sat upright, panicking. "Mom?"

No answer.

"Mom!" Cate yelled as loudly as she could.

No answer.

Cate sighed. She got up and hurried toward her mother's bedroom. As she moved, another sharp pain stabbed her side. She winced in pain, holding her side. "Mom!" Cate cried out in frustration.

No answer.

Laverne wasn't in her bedroom. Cate hurried downstairs. Her mom was nowhere to be found.

Cate frantically dialed her mother's office. "Is Laverne there?"

"Cate, is that you?" Ruth, one of Laverne's co-workers, asked.

"Yes. Is my mom there? I really need to talk to her," Cate tried again.

"No, hun. She's not coming in today. Is everything OK?" Ruth replied.

"It's fine. Bye," Cate said shortly, hanging up before Ruth had a chance to respond.

Cate sank down on the couch. She didn't know where her mom was. She didn't know what to do.

Cate fought back tears. She didn't know who else she could call. There was no one, she realized. She was alone.

Cate pulled her knees to her chest as another contraction seized her stomach. She looked at the phone helplessly. She bit her lip as she dialed _9-1-1_.

Cate slammed the phone down in frustration when she heard a busy tone. How could _9-1-1_ be busy? This was an emergency!

Laverne kissed Jimmy goodbye on the front porch. He'd taken her to breakfast that morning. She turned her key in the lock and opened the door, sighing.

Laverne heard Cate's sobs and rushed to her daughter's side. She found Cate curled in a ball crying. "What's wrong?"

"I think I'm in labor," Cate managed in between sobs.

"Oh my gosh!" Laverne said.

Cate's eyes widened. She'd thought if she could just find her mom, everything would be OK, but Laverne seemed just as frantic as she was.

Laverne noticed Cate's distress and took a deep breath to calm down. Laverne began moving around purposefully. She got Cate's packed bag from Cate's bedroom and put it in the car. Then she called the doctor to let her know they were on their way to the hospital.

* * *

Laverne held a cool washcloth to Cate's face, mopping her sweaty forehead. Cate had been in labor for several hours. It had been a difficult birth.

The nurse, Julie, hadn't been very sympathetic. She'd fixed Cate with a judgmental glare the moment she stepped foot in Cate's hospital room.

"How old are you?" Julie asked, her tone conveying disdain.

"Seventeen," Cate replied quietly.

Julie nodded knowingly. "You must still be in high school? Or did you drop out already?"

"I'm a senior," Cate mumbled, fidgeting with the sheet nervously.

"But, you're not in school right now," Julie pointed out, her tone almost triumphant.

"People don't usually have babies in classrooms," Cate retorted, getting sick of the nurse's attitude.

Julie frowned. "Teenagers who get pregnant don't usually graduate."

"I will," Cate said firmly.

Julie stared at Cate doubtfully.

"Cate has a 4.0 GPA. She's in all honors and AP classes," Laverne beamed proudly.

Cate smiled.

"Are you going to watch your granddaughter while your daughter is in school?" Julie turned to Laverne.

"No. Cate's giving the baby up for adoption," Laverne explained.

Julie's bedside demeanor left something to be desired throughout the long day.

Cate cried out in pain as she pushed. "Can I get a painkiller?"

"No, it's too late for that," Julie replied unsympathetically.

Cate's knuckles turned white as she gripped the bedposts with all her might. She really didn't know if she could do this. She was so tired. Her eyelids felt heavy. She had no energy left.

Laverne stroked Cate's hair back off her face. "You can do this. You're almost done."

It took all Cate's strength to push one more time. It felt as though she was pushing a boulder out of her, not a little baby.

"Congratulations, Ms. Cassidy. It's a girl," the doctor, Dr. O'Brien, said, as she bundled Cate's daughter.

Cate squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see her baby. She knew if she saw her daughter, she'd want her.

"Ms. Cassidy?" Cate heard the Julie's snotty voice.

"Yeah?" Cate asked.

"Don't you want to hold your daughter?" The nurse asked.

"No," Cate said firmly, shaking her head. She knew if she held her daughter, there would be no going back.

"She's your daughter," The nurse pointed out, her tone accusatory.

"No, she's not," Cate said simply.

"But-" The nurse began to protest.

"Get her out of here!" Cate cut her off.

Cate didn't open her eyes until her daughter was long gone.

Cate felt weird. She felt hollow inside. Her hands made their way to her now empty stomach.

"Are you OK?" Laverne asked tentatively.

"Yeah," Cate lied.

"Do you want anything?" Laverne asked.

"I just want to be alone," Cate said.

Laverne hesitated. "If that's what you want."


	5. Ready, Set, Go

**The Second Week of School: Monday**

Laverne heard one of her daughters rustling around in the bathroom. She glanced at her bedside clock and groaned. It was only 6:00 am.

Laverne massaged her temples. Her head throbbed, a consequence of too much wine the night before.

She threw open the bathroom door and was surprised to find Cate in workout clothes pulling her brown locks back into a ponytail. "What in the world are you doing?"

"Going for a run," Cate replied.

Laverne stared at Cate as though she'd lost her mind. "You just had a baby!"

"So?" Cate asked. She put headphones on and moved past her mother.

"You should take is easy for a few days," Laverne suggested.

"No. I'm fine," Cate said. She left Laverne standing there in shock.

* * *

When her feet hit the pavement, Cate started running as though her life depended on it. She sprinted until she couldn't anymore. She collapsed on a bench, breathing heavily.

Even as Cate gasped for air, she felt better than she had in days. She finally felt in control. She turned the volume on her Walkman up, focusing on the radio show and blocking out everything else around her.

Cate listened intently as two male co-hosts, Ken and "Slacker," mercilessly teased their female co-host, Jennifer, about her boyfriend. She laughed at Jennifer's witty comeback. Jennifer sounded so smart, sophisticated and fun.

Cate continued listening as she jogged home.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Laverne asked, as she pulled up to Westmonte High School.

She'd told Cate to take another week off and recover, but Cate had insisted on returning to school.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Cate replied, hopping out of the car.

Laverne sighed. "Have a good day."

Cate doubted it would be good.

She entered her first class and approached her teacher, Mrs. Greene. "Hi. I'm Cate Cassidy. I've been sick with Mono."

Mrs. Greene frowned. "This is an AP course. You won't do well if you miss class."

"I know. I'll get notes from a friend and get caught up," Cate promised.

"You'll need to read chapters one through ten in the textbook and make up a quiz," Mrs. Greene said.

Cate nodded. "Thanks."

Cate scanned the room, looking for a friendly face. She didn't see one. However, she did see Alice and decided to make an effort to be friendly.

Cate sat down next to Alice. "Hi. How was your summer?"

Alice stared at her blankly. "I'm sorry. Are you speaking to me again?"

"I was flaky last year. I know that. I'm sorry. I had a lot going on," Cate said.

"What?" Alice asked curiously.

Cate sighed. She couldn't tell Alice the truth. "Just…family stuff."

Alice smiled sympathetically. She knew Cate's mom was kind of a mess.

Cate returned the smile. "Can I borrow your notes from last week?"

Alice nodded. "Where have you been anyway?"

"Sick," Cate lied.

"For a whole week?" Alice asked doubtfully.

"Mono," Cate lied again.

"My cousin had that. She was sick for a month. Do you feel better?" Alice said.

Cate nodded.

Cate and Alice had most of their classes together, a bonus of being in all honors and AP classes. When the bell in their last class rang, they headed toward the door together.

Cate bumped into someone in the crowded hallway. "Sorry," she mumbled, looking up and into the face of Baze.

Baze stared at her, looking like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes skimmed her body, stopping at her stomach.

Cate noticed and glared at him. Enough of the weight had disappeared when she had the baby that Cate could hide her stomach from classmates, but she was still much heavier than usual.

Baze blushed and looked down.

Alice pulled Cate along, gossiping as they pushed their way through the hall. "Do you want to go to the coffee shop and do homework together?"

"Huh?" Cate asked, her mind still on Baze.

Alice frowned. "I knew you weren't listening."

"That's not true!" Cate said quickly, not wanting to tick Alice off all over again. "I'm just still not feeling that great."

Alice studied her friend, trying to figure out if she was lying. Cate didn't look so good. Her face was swollen and it looked like she'd gained weight. Cate had bags under her eyes and looked exhausted. Alice nodded. "Feel better."

"Thanks. See you later," Cate said, waving as they parted ways.

* * *

Cate walked to the mall. She passed a billboard for the radio show she'd listened to that morning on the way. Jennifer was wearing a revealing black dress and looked gorgeous.

Cate wandered through the mall, window-shopping as she passed her favorite stores. She stopped when she saw a dress similar to the one Jennifer was wearing on the billboard.

Cate looked up curiously and noted that the display was in the window of a trendy boutique, Paula's, that Cate had never shopped in. She'd heard it was really expensive. She decided to check it out.

On a whim, Cate approached the salesperson. "Hi. Are you hiring?"

The salesperson studied the young girl. She was cute, but not very stylish. She nodded. "We're accepting applications." She handed Cate a paper form.

"Thanks!" Cate smiled. "Do employees get a discount?"

The salesperson nodded. "Yeah, we get 25% off."

Cate's smile widened. If she could get a job there, she could buy a ton of cute dresses to wear our in college next year.

She was tired of being the unpopular girl that none of the guys liked. Things would be different in college, Cate decided. They had to be.


	6. A Helping Hand

One Month Later

"Hi. How's it going?" Cate greeted the shopper who entered Paula's brightly. She'd always been shy, but working in a clothing store had helped bring her out of her shell. She'd gotten more comfortable talking to people.

The pretty young woman looked about twenty. She hesitated. "Yes, actually. I'm looking for something to wear to a cocktail party."

Cate smiled. She'd developed a sense of style working at Paula's. She'd also accumulated a great wardrobe. Cate easily selected a few options and visited with the shopper as she took her back to the dressing rooms.

When Cate returned to the front of the store, she was surprised to see her mother. Laverne never stopped by. "Hi, Mom," Cate said tentatively.

"Good, you're here! I've been looking all over for you. I called Alice and Dewey," Laverne said.

"What's wrong?" Cate asked.

"You have to come with me," Laverne said, ignoring Cate's question.

"I'm working," Cate said, frowning. "Have you been drinking?"

"Tell your manager you have to leave for a family emergency," Laverne insisted.

Cate could smell alcohol on her mother's breath. "What kind of family emergency?" She demanded.

"We need to go to the hospital," Laverne said cryptically.

"Is it Abby?" Cate asked, her eyes widening in horror.

"No. Stop asking questions! There's no time. It might be too late already," Laverne said.

Cate made a face. "Too late for what? Happy hour?" She liked her job. She didn't want to lose it.

Cate's manager, Lindsay, noticed Cate arguing with someone and hurried over. "Is everything OK?"

"Yes, it's fine," Cate said quickly.

"Hi." Laverne smiled. "I'm Cate's mom."

Cate rolled her eyes. "This is my manager, Lindsay."

"Hi," Lindsay said, shaking Laverne's hand politely.

"I'm sorry, but we have a family emergency. Cate needs to come with me," Laverne said.

Cate glared at her mother.

"Of course," Lindsay said.

Cate retrieved her purse from the stockroom and then stalked out of the store angrily. "This had better be good. Someone had better be dying or something."

The color drained from Cate's face when she saw Laverne's face. "Mom, is someone dying?"

"I don't know," Laverne admitted.

"Who is it? Is it Dad?" Cate demanded.

Laverne shook her head. "No, as far as I know he's alive. I haven't heard from him in years. I don't know how to tell you this…"

"Just tell me!" Cate said.

"When I got home, there were several messages for you from a nurse at the hospital. I called to find out what was going on," Laverne said.

Cate stared at her mother expectantly.

Laverne sighed. "It's your daughter. Apparently she was born with some sort of heart condition."

Cate gasped in shock. "Is she OK?"

"No. She's been on a ventilator. They were waiting until she got strong enough for surgery. She's in surgery now and she's lost a lot of blood. She's a rare blood type," Laverne explained.

"_Your_ blood type," Laverne said pointedly. "We need to go to the hospital so you can donate blood."

Cate swallowed. This was a lot. It had been two months since Cate had given birth.

Not a day had gone by that Cate hadn't thought about her daughter. Every time Cate saw a baby girl, she wondered if it was her daughter. Then, she told herself there was no way it was her daughter and wondered where her daughter was and what her daughter was doing.

But, she'd never wondered if her daughter was healthy. She didn't think she had to. She couldn't believe that her daughter had a heart condition. She couldn't believe she'd been living her life normally while her daughter fought for her life.

Cate didn't know what to think or how to feel. The only thing she knew was that they had to get to the hospital. She grabbed the car keys from her mom.

"Hey," Laverne protested.

"You're drunk," Cate accused. "I'm driving."

Laverne didn't argue. Cate drove as fast as she could. When they approached a yellow light, Cate sped through it. She pulled into the first parking spot she saw. It was a Handicap spot, but Cate didn't care.

* * *

Cate was out of breath by the time she reached the nurse's station. "I'm…_gasp_…Cate..._gasp_…Cassidy," Cate managed.

The nurse stared at her blankly.

"You've been calling me. My daughter's in surgery and needs blood," Cate explained.

"What's your daughter's name?" The nurse asked.

"I don't know," Cate replied. "I gave her up for adoption."

"Oh," the nurse said as realization hit her. "Yes, you can come with me."

Cate and Laverne followed the nurse into a nearby room. Cate rolled up her sleeve and offered her arm.

Cate hated needles. She realized with surprise that she wasn't scared of the needle now. She was only scared for her daughter.

Usually Cate closed her eyes while they drew blood. Seeing the needle somehow made it even worse. Now she looked at the nurse. "Is my daughter OK?"

"I don't know," the nurse replied, looking down.

Cate tried to meet the nurse's eyes desperately. She sensed there was something more. They wouldn't be drawing blood if her daughter had died, Cate reasoned.

The nurse finished. "You can go now. You can't give more blood today. If we need more, we'll let you know."

"I'm not leaving," Cate said, shocked. "I want to know how my daughter is."

"I don't know how much information I can give you," the nurse admitted.

"What do you mean? She's my daughter!" Cate protested.

"Yes, but we are only allowed to give patient information to family. I don't know what the rules are since you gave her up for adoption," the nurse explained.

"I just want to know if she's OK," Cate said softly.

The nurse nodded. "Let me check. I'll be right back."

"Did they say anything else on the phone?" Cate asked Laverne miserably.

"No," Laverne said. "This has been quite the night. I need a drink. Do you think they serve alcohol in the cafeteria?"

Cate wanted to scream. She was trying to find out if her daughter was alive and all her mother could think about was alcohol.

Cate knew it was highly unlikely that the hospital cafeteria served alcohol, but wanted to be alone so she said, "Probably. Why don't you go get a glass of wine?"

"You'll be OK?" Laverne asked, though she'd already moved toward the door.

"Yeah," Cate lied.

When Laverne left, Cate leaned against the hard wall for support. She wasn't OK at all. How could she possibly be OK?

Cate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her eyes fluttered open when she heard a knock.

"Come in," Cate said.

A middle-aged African American woman entered the room and smiled at Cate.

Cate couldn't bring herself to smile, but nodded politely. "Are you the doctor?"

"No. I'm Fern, your daughter's social worker," Fern replied. She extended her hand politely.

"I'm Cate," Cate said, shaking the woman's hand. "I'm sorry…my daughter's social worker? Why does she need a social worker?"

"Children who are wards of the State are assigned a social worker to look out for their best interest," Fern said.

"Wait a minute, a ward of the State?" Cate asked, confusion wrinkling her brow.

"Yes, when children enter foster care, they become wards of the State," Fern explained.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand. Foster care? They told me she'd be adopted," Cate said.

"She may still be. But, she's been in the hospital. We cannot find adoptive parents for her until she's healthy," Fern said.

Cate swallowed. "She's been here in this hospital for two months?"

Fern nodded. "Lux is very lucky. The doctor caught her heart condition early. Left untreated she could have died."

Cate frowned. "Lux?"

Fern smiled. "A nurse named her. It means light."

Cate stared at Fern blankly.

"You know, because she has blonde hair and you have dark hair," Fern explained.

"She has blonde hair?" Cate asked, smiling slightly.

Fern looked at Cate curiously.

"I never saw her," Cate admitted.

Fern smiled sympathetically.

"I knew if I saw her I would want her," Cate continued. She hadn't told anyone that yet.

"Would you like to see her now?" Fern offered.

Cate hesitated. She still feared that it would all be over if she saw her daughter. She knew she had to see her daughter to make sure she was OK. She would never be able to live with herself if she didn't. She nodded and followed Fern to the pediatric wing.

Fern led her to a basinet. Cate gasped when she saw her daughter. Lux was so little. She almost looked like a doll.

But, Lux was hooked up to a ventilator and beeping machines. A bandage covered Lux's little chest where it had been cut open that day.

Cate reached for her daughter without thinking.

"I'm afraid you can't hold her," Fern said firmly.

"She's especially susceptible to infection right now. No one can hold her," a nurse explained kindly.

"Can I touch her?" Cate asked softly.

"Yes, but you need to wash your hands and wear this," the nurse replied, offering Cate something that looked like a garbage bag with holes for her arms.

Cate obliged. She tentatively reached her hand into the basinet and gently touched her daughter's hand. Lux's tiny fingers curled around Cate's finger, squeezing.

Cate smiled. She didn't remove her hand until Lux's grip relaxed.

Cate's smile vanished when she remembered where she was. "Is she going to be OK?"

"We're doing everything we can," the nurse said, not really answering Cate's question.

"Did the surgery fix her heart?" Cate asked.

"No," the nurse said sadly. "Lux was losing too much blood. We almost lost her. We had to stop before the doctor was able to repair her heart."

"But I donated blood. She has blood now. Fix her," Cate said.

"She's not strong enough for another surgery," the nurse said.

Tears stung Cate's eyes. "So what? You're just going to let her die?"

"Of course not!" The nurse replied. "We're going to keep doing everything we can. We'll keep her on the ventilator until she gets stronger. Then, we'll try the surgery again."

"When will she be strong enough?" Cate asked.

"It varies. We take weight and vitals into consideration," the nurse replied.

"A month? A year?" Cate asked, her frustration at getting no answers boiling over.

The nurse frowned. "Probably not a month. It could be anywhere from a few months to a year."

Cate sighed helplessly. "Can't I do anything?"

The nurse smiled sympathetically. "You've already done all you can do."

"No, I haven't," Cate said sadly. She hadn't done nearly enough. She'd given birth to an innocent baby and then given her to strangers and walked away.

Cate had walked away, leaving her daughter alone in the hospital. Cate knew all too well what it felt like to be alone. She'd been alone throughout her pregnancy.

But, Lux was just a baby. She shouldn't have to go through this alone. She shouldn't have to go through this at all, Cate thought miserably.

"Your blood helped save her life," the nurse insisted.


	7. Out of Control

Cate tossed and turned all night. She couldn't sleep. How could she sleep when her daughter was fighting for her life?

She felt like everything was spiraling out of control. Cate liked to control everything.

Cate didn't know what to do when she lost control. The pregnancy had been the first time she'd truly felt powerless. She hadn't been able to control her body or her emotions.

After she gave Lux up, Cate struggled to regain control of her life. Running had helped.

When Cate ran, she was in control. She'd lost all the baby weight and gotten in the best shape of her life over the past two months.

Now she felt like all the progress she'd made had gone out the window.

Cate glanced at her alarm clock. It read _4:34 am_. Cate had checked the clock throughout the night, wondering how long she'd been lying there awake. She knew she couldn't have gotten more than a few hours of sleep.

Cate rolled out of bed. She changed into workout clothes and pulled her hair back.

Cate took off at a run, no destination in mind. She was running away from her problems. Problems she didn't know how to deal with.

She couldn't control what happened to Lux. She couldn't control whether Lux lived or died.

Cate hadn't anticipated this. She'd thought the giving birth would be the most difficult part of getting pregnant, but it wasn't. Being unable to control what happened to the innocent child who'd been inside of her for nine months was much more difficult.

Lost in her thoughts, Cate subconsciously ran to the hospital. She looked up, surprised, when she realized where she'd ended up. She hadn't meant to run to the hospital.

She knew visiting hours probably wouldn't begin for several hours, but Cate found herself entering the hospital anyway.

She made her way to the pediatric wing. Although she'd only been there once, she knew her way by heart. She almost felt a magnetic attraction to the basinet where Lux was sleeping.

Cate smiled down at her daughter. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping.

Cate pulled up a chair and watched Lux sleep. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when Fern appeared by her side.

"I didn't expect to see you back here," Fern said.

Cate jumped slightly, her hand shooting to her heart. She'd been so focused on Lux that she hadn't even heard Fern approach.

"I'm sorry," Fern apologized quickly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Cate smiled. "It's OK. I didn't hear you."

"I didn't expect to see you back here," Fern said again.

"I just, I couldn't stay away," Cate struggled to explain.

"I understand." Fern smiled kindly.

Lux's cries pierced their ears and both Cate and Fern turned their attention back to the basinet.

Cate instinctively reached for Lux.

"No," Fern stopped her.

Cate stared at Fern.

"You can't hold her because she's too susceptible to infection," Fern reminded Cate.

Cate nodded sadly.

Although it was only minutes before a nurse appeared and tended to Lux, it felt like hours. Every second Cate listened to Lux cry unable to do anything was excruciating.

Cate watched enviously as another woman comforted her daughter. It should be her holding Lux, Cate thought.

_Whoa, where did that come from_, Cate wondered. She shook her head.

"Is she OK?" Cate asked anxiously after Lux's cries subsided.

"She's fine," the nurse replied.

"Are you sure? It's not her heart?" Cate asked.

The nurse smiled, amused. "No. Babies always cry when they wake up."

"Can you check? Just to make sure," Cate said desperately.

"It's actually time for Dr. Cooper to examine Lux, but I'm sure she's fine," the nurse assured Cate.

"Can I come?" Cate asked.

"Yes." The nurse smiled.

The nurse led the way to an examination room, Cate and Fern following at her heels.

Dr. Cooper entered. He looked surprised to see Cate.

"This is Lux's mother, Cate Cassidy," the nurse explained.

Cate didn't know why, but being called Lux's _mother_ took her by surprise. She'd never really thought of herself as a mother. Pregnant, yes, but not actually a mother.

"Hi, Cate. I'm Dr. Cooper." The doctor offered his hand politely.

Cate shook it. "It's nice to meet you."

The doctor moved around, examining Lux and telling Cate what he was doing.

"Lux is recovering well," Dr. Cooper concluded after examining her.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been holding her breath throughout the examination. "When can you try the surgery again?"

Dr. Cooper frowned. "She's recovering well, but she won't be strong enough for another surgery for at least a few months. Probably longer."

Cate's face fell.

Dr. Cooper left, in a hurry to check on other patients. The nurse took Lux back to the nursery.

"Can I touch her?" Cate asked.

The nurse smiled and procured one of those weird plastic things for Cate to wear.

Cate reached her hand into the basinet, patting Lux gently.

"You're so strong," Cate told Lux.

Fern watched the young mother with her child. The expression on Cate's face was one of pure love.

"And you're so beautiful. Even with the ventilator," Cate continued, glancing at the offending tubes hooked up to her daughter.

Cate noticed Lux was wearing the same baby outfit she'd been wearing the previous day and frowned. She looked at Fern. "Does she have any other clothes?"

"Lux has been wearing hospital issue clothes. The state doesn't have a budget for buying clothes," Fern explained.

Cate's frown deepened. She turned back to Lux. "I'll get you some clothes. Don't worry. You'll be the prettiest girl in the whole hospital."

Cate glanced at the clock regretfully and realized she was going to be late for school. "I'll be back later," she promised Lux.

"Cate, can I speak with you for a moment?" Fern asked.

Cate nodded, wondering what Fern wanted.

"Do you still want to give Lux up for adoption?" Fern asked, watching Cate's reaction intently.

Cate looked surprised. "I, uh, I already did. I mean, I signed the paperwork."

"Actually, whoever processed your paperwork forgot to get your signature on the form that officially relinquishes your parental rights," Fern said.

"I'm sorry. What does that mean?" Cate asked, confusion wrinkling her brow.

"It means that you're still legally Lux's mother," Fern explained.

"Really?" Cate asked hopefully.

"You can sign the form and your parental rights will be terminated," Fern began.

"Oh," Cate said, her hopes deflating. She looked visibly disappointed.

"Or, if you're having second thoughts, you have an opportunity to change your mind," Fern continued.

"Really? There's really a chance of that?" Cate asked.

"Yes." Fern smiled. She handed Cate a business card. "Let me know what you decide."

"I will," Cate assured Fern.

* * *

Cate had missed first period by the time she got to school. She sighed. She was already playing catch up from missing the first week.

Cate's teachers had taken it as a personal affront that Cate dared to miss a whole week of classes. Cate had made the work up quickly. It's not like her social life had gotten in the way, Cate thought bitterly.

But Cate's attentiveness did little to win her teachers over. As Cate hurried to her second period, she passed her first period teacher, who shot her a dirty look.

_Just my luck_, Cate thought. Cate hurried after her teacher. "Excuse me, Mrs. Greene."

Mrs. Greene stopped and turned to face Cate, her expression hostile. "Ms. Cassidy. I missed you in class this morning."

"I know. I'm sorry. I had a…family emergency," Cate replied truthfully.

Mrs. Greene gazed at Cate skeptically.

"A, uh, relative is in the hospital," Cate said.

"I'm sorry." Mrs. Greene's expression softened slightly. "Will your relative be OK?"

"I don't know," Cate replied, tears stinging her eyes.

Cate made it to second period just as the bell rang. She sat down in her usual seat next to Alice.

"You look like hell," Alice observed.

"Thanks," Cate said sarcastically.

"I didn't mean it that way," Alice said. She studied her friend. "You're wearing workout clothes. You don't have any make-up on. It looks like you've been crying."

"A relative is in the hospital," Cate repeated what she'd told her teacher just a few minutes earlier.

Alice frowned. "What relative?"

Cate hesitated. Before Cate could come up with an explanation, their teacher started lecturing. Cate pretended to be engrossed in the lecture, not wanting to resume their conversation.

* * *

After school, Cate went to the mall. She used the phone at Paula's to call the hospital.

"Hi, this is Cate Cassidy. I wanted to check on my daughter, Lux," Cate said when a nurse answered.

"Can I put you on hold?" The nurse asked.

"Yeah," Cate replied. She tapped her fingers on the counter anxiously.

"Ms. Cassidy?"

"Yeah?" Cate said, sucking in her breath.

"Lux is stable. There's no change," the nurse reported.

"Thank you," Cate said dully.

_No change_. In other worse, my daughter is still on a ventilator in a hospital fighting for her life, Cate translated. It wasn't exactly good news, but Cate knew things could be worse.

Cate usually enjoyed working. Today was different. The time passed so slowly. Cate was distracted and kept making stupid mistakes.

She'd given a customer the wrong change after ringing up a purchase. The customer had yelled at her angrily.

Usually willing to stay late, Cate was watching the clock when it was finally time to leave. She'd already retrieved her purse.

Cate left and found a directory. She browsed the listings, trying to find a good children's clothing store.

Cate went into Gymboree. She smiled, taking in all the adorable little dresses. She spotted a white dress with red cherries on it and looked at the tag.

She gasped when she saw the price tag. How could such a little dress cost so much?

Cate made her way to the sale rack in the back. These were much more affordable. Cate found several dresses that would look precious on Lux, but soon realized she didn't understand the sizing at all.

Was Lux a newborn, Cate wondered. She wasn't _actually_ a newborn. She was two months old. But the next size was 3-6 months. Lux wasn't three months old yet. And she was so little. So fragile, Cate thought sadly.

"Can I help you?" A salesperson asked helpfully. She'd been watching the young girl shop and noticed the look of confusion on her face.

"Yes," Cate said emphatically. "I'm shopping for a two-month old."

Cate used her hands to try to show the saleperson about how big Lux was. "She's about this big."

The salesperson laughed. "Are you shopping for your niece?"

"Yeah," Cate lied, looking down.

"She's probably a newborn. But we can print a gift receipt in case it's too small," the salesperson said.

"Thanks," Cate said gratefully. She continued shopping.

Cate watched as the salesperson rang her up. She hadn't realized how much she was buying. Even though the little dresses were only about fifteen to thirty dollars on sale, they were quickly adding up.

Cate gulped when she saw the total flash across the register. _219.99_.

That would be over half of Cate's paycheck, she knew, but Lux needed clothes. Cate handed her credit card over, resigned to the purchase.


	8. A Small Price to Pay

Cate called to check on Lux again as soon as she got home from the mall.

"There's no change," the nurse reported. "Ms. Cassidy, we'll call you if there's a change."

"Thanks," Cate said softly as she hung up the phone.

Laverne came downstairs to refill her glass of wine. "Hi. How was school?"

Cate rolled her eyes. "It's nine o'clock."

Laverne stared at her daughter as she poured another glass of wine. She was already drunk. She couldn't hold the wine bottle properly and kept spilling on the kitchen counter.

"I've been out of school for six hours," Cate pointed out. She took the bottle from Laverne and topped the glass off before cleaning the counter.

Laverne took a sip of wine and sighed. She noticed all of the shopping bags on the kitchen table. "Did you go shopping?"

"No, I just asked the store if I could have some bags for decoration," Cate said sarcastically.

She knew she was being rude, but she'd had a bad day and just couldn't deal with her drunk mother.

Laverne sifted through the bags and frowned. "What is this? Why are you buying baby clothes?"

"For Lux," Cate replied softly.

Laverne's frown deepened. "Cate, you can't waste all your money on a baby that you gave up."

Cate crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly. "It's my money. I can spend it on whatever I want."

"What about college?" Laverne asked.

"What about college?" Cate asked, exasperated. "How can I save my money for my future when my daughter might not even have a future? I'm not that selfish. I can't be that selfish."

"She's not your daughter. You gave her up. She'll be adopted by a family who can actually take care of her and they'll buy her things," Laverne said.

"She _is_ my daughter! Signing a piece of paper doesn't change that. She was inside of me for nine months. We were connected by an umbilical cord! That connection doesn't just go away," Cate said angrily.

"I know this is hard, but you're doing the right thing. You can't take care of a child," Laverne said gently.

"How can it be the right thing when my daughter is fighting for her life and no one is there for her? Not one person is there for her! She has nothing, Mom! She's been wearing hospital issue clothes because she doesn't have any other clothes!" Cate said.

The pained expression on Cate's face didn't escape Laverne even though she was drunk. She hugged Cate.

Cate wrinkled her nose. She could smell alcohol on her mother's breath.

Cate hesitated. "Mom, I want her."

"What?" Laverne asked.

"Lux. I want her," Cate said firmly.

"You already gave her up," Laverne pointed out, rubbing Cate's back soothingly.

"Actually I didn't. The Social Services office forgot to have me sign a form. I'm still legally Lux's mother," Cate explained.

Laverne frowned. "You need to sign the form."

Cate glared at her mother. "Are you listening to me? I don't want to sign the form. I want my daughter!"

"You haven't thought this through," Laverne said.

"Yeah, I have," Cate said defiantly.

"Your daughter has a heart condition. She needs constant medical attention. Not to mention surgery," Laverne reminded Cate.

"Don't you think I know that?" Cate retorted.

"Do you know how much that will cost?" Laverne asked.

Cate's face fell. Laverne was right. She hadn't thought about the medical bills.

"I wish I could help you, but we can't afford it," Laverne said softly.

Cate nodded. "I understand," she whispered.

"This is darling." Laverne held up a pink and white baby jumper.

Cate knew Laverne was trying to make peace. Cate smiled slightly. "Lux will look so sweet in it."

"Just don't let yourself get too attached," Laverne warned, noting the expression on Cate's face when she talked about Lux.

"It's too late for that," Cate muttered.

"You can visit her now while she's in the hospital, but what about once she's released? When she's better? Her adoptive parents won't want her birth mother visiting," Laverne said reproachfully.

"She could be in the hospital for years," Cate said.

"All I'm saying is that the more attached you get, the harder it will be when you can't be in her life anymore. Remember Bella?" Laverne tried again.

Bella was their old dog. They'd only had her for a week. When they took her to the vet for shots, the doctor had told them Bella had cancer and recommended that they put her down. Cate had been eight at the time and hadn't wanted to put the dog down.

Cate sighed. "You cannot seriously be comparing my daughter with a cocker spaniel?"

"If you got that attached to a dog in one week, how attached do you think you'll be to Lux after a year or more? Do you really think you'll be able to give her up?" Laverne said.

"I don't know! I just, I can't do this right now," Cate said. She went up to her room and shut the door.

As much as Cate hated to admit it, Laverne had a point. They couldn't afford to pay Lux's medical bills.

Cate couldn't stand the idea of Lux going through surgery after surgery alone. But she also knew she was already too attached. Cate bit her lip.

She would just have to suck it up, Cate decided. It would be hard on her when Lux was adopted and Cate couldn't see her anymore. But in the meantime, Lux deserved to have someone who was there for her.

Cate set her alarm for 6:00 am. That would give her enough time to visit Lux before school started.

* * *

When Cate got to Lux's basinet, it was empty.

Cate looked for someone, anyone, but she was the only person in the pediatric wing. Damn it!

Was Lux OK, Cate wondered desperately.

Cate's heart was beating rapidly. She felt hot all over. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong. Why else would they move Lux?

"Ms. Cassidy?"

Cate looked up. It was the same nurse from yesterday.

"Where's Lux? Is she OK?" Cate demanded.

"Lux is fine. Another nurse took her to be examined," the nurse said.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry. I overreacted. I know. I just, I saw that she was gone and…"

Cate couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. She'd thought Lux was dead.

"It's OK," the nurse said gently.

Cate nodded. "How's Lux?"

"There's Alex with Lux now." The nurse nodded at another nurse who was carrying Lux. "You can see for yourself."

"Thanks," Cate said.

"Alex? I'm Cate. Cassidy. Lux's mom. How's she doing?" Cate said, her eyes fixed on Lux.

Alex smiled. "Hi. She's doing well. She slept through the night. Her vitals are strong."

Cate smiled down at her daughter. "I, uh, I brought her some clothes." Cate handed the shopping bags to Alex.

Alex examined the outfits, smiling. "These are so cute! I'll change Lux now."

Cate watched as Alex changed Lux into a little plaid jumper. Cate broke into a huge grin when she saw Lux dressed.

"That's better, isn't it?" Alex cooed to Lux.

Lux giggled.

Cate couldn't take her eyes off her daughter. She was mesmerized by Lux.

"Lux hasn't been eating. Do you want to try breast feeding? Maybe she'll do better with that than the bottle," Alex suggested.

"Really?" Cate's eyes widened. "OK."

"Wash your hands and change into this." Alex handed Cate the ugly plastic thing.

Cate scrubbed her hands carefully and changed before returning to the nursery.

Alex led Cate to a rocking chair and set Lux gently in Cate's lap.

Cate looked up at Alex, confusion furrowing her brow. "I, uh, I don't know what to do," she admitted sheepishly.

Alex smiled kindly and showed Cate.

"Will it hurt?" Cate asked.

"No. It might feel a little weird, though," Alex replied.

It did feel weird, but it also felt wonderful to finally hold her daughter. Cate never wanted to let go.

"Alex?" Cate said.

"Mmm-hmm?" Alex said.

"Uh, how much does all of this cost? You know, Lux staying here? The surgery?" Cate asked.

"Don't worry. The state's paying for it," Alex said.

"Just out of curiosity," Cate said.

Alex thought for a moment. "It will depend on how long Lux stays here and how many surgeries she ends up needing."

"Give me a ballpark figure," Cate pressed.

"A minimum of $30,000," Alex said.

Cate's jaw dropped. She stared at Alex in shock.

"Don't worry. Like I said, the state is paying for it," Alex reassured Cate.

Cate swallowed.

Alex frowned. "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, gave Lux up for adoption. But Fern said there was a possibility of me changing my mind. I want her," Cate began. She broke off, fighting back tears.

Once Cate regained her composure, she continued, "I want her so bad it hurts. But there's no way I can afford that."


	9. Where There's a Will

"You should make an appointment with the Chief of Staff," Alex told Cate.

"Who?" Cate asked.

"Dr. Franklin. He's like the CEO of the hospital," Alex explained. "When patients can't afford medical care that will save their lives, the hospital just needs his approval and then we can provide medical care pro bono."

"Do you think he would see me?" Cate asked hopefully.

"Yes, you just need to make an appointment with his secretary, Donna. I'll show you where her office is," Alex offered.

"That'd be great." Cate smiled. "What do you think the chances are of him approving Lux's care?"

"I don't know. He usually approves it as long as the patient really can't afford it. Your situation is different, though, since Lux's care is being paid for by the State," Alex replied.

Cate's face fell.

"Hey, it can't hurt to try," Alex said gently.

Cate forced herself to smile at Alex. Alex had been really helpful. "You're right. I will. Thanks so much."

Alex showed Cate where Donna's office was. "Good luck."

"Thanks again," Cate said gratefully.

"I'll need all the luck I can get," Cate muttered under her breath. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, before knocking on the office door.

"Come in."

Cate opened the door and entered Donna's office. Donna was an older woman with graying hair. She looked at Cate expectantly.

"I, uh, wanted to make an appointment with the Chief of Staff," Cate said quietly.

"What's this regarding?" Donna asked.

"My daughter, Lux Cassidy," Cate replied.

Donna's expression was quizzical.

"She's a patient here. She needs surgery," Cate added.

"Who's your daughter's doctor?" Donna asked.

Cate wracked her brain for the name. "Uh, Dr. Cooper?"

Donna made a note. "Is there a problem with Dr. Cooper?"

"No," Cate said quickly. She blushed and looked down. "I, uh, can't afford to pay for Lux's surgery and a nurse, Alex, said I should talk to Dr. Franklin."

Donna nodded and pulled up Dr. Franklin's calendar. "I can get you in next Friday at 2:30."

"Next Friday? Isn't there anything sooner?" Cate said.

"No. Dr. Franklin is very busy. He has meetings off site every day this week," Donna replied.

Cate frowned. "It's really important that I speak with him."

"I understand that, but I'm afraid Dr. Franklin is unavailable," Donna said firmly.

Cate didn't know how she was going to wait that long. This meeting would determine whether or not she could be with her daughter. Everything was riding on this meeting.

* * *

After school Cate flipped through the phone book, looking for medical clinics in the Portland area. She knew clinics provided medical care for the poor, but she didn't know how it worked. Was it free? Or just less expensive?

All Cate knew was that she couldn't just sit and do nothing for a week.

"Portland Health Clinic. This is Jane. How can I help you?"

"Hi. I've never been to a clinic before and I was wondering how much it costs?" Cate asked.

"Do you have insurance?" Jane asked.

"Yeah, I do, but it's for my daughter and she doesn't," Cate replied.

"We take the uninsured and indigent. Most services are free. What's going on with your daughter?" Jane said.

"She has a heart condition. She has a, uh, hole in her heart. She needs surgery," Cate said.

"We don't have any surgeons on staff," Jane said.

"Do you know if any other clinics do?" Cate asked.

"No, you'll need to take your daughter to the hospital," Jane replied.

Cate frowned. "Are there any other options? There is just no way I can afford the surgery."

"Make an appointment with the Chief of Staff. He can approve pro bono treatments if the patient's life is endangered," Jane said.

"Thanks," Cate muttered before she hung up.

Cate flipped through the phone book, this time looking for insurance companies. Maybe if she could afford insurance for Lux, she wouldn't have to pay for the surgery.

An hour later Cate slammed the phone down on the kitchen table. She'd called several insurance companies. She couldn't afford to buy insurance for Lux from any of them. And, even if she could, they only paid for part of the medical care and then Cate had to pay the rest.

Cate knew Laverne really couldn't afford to help her. She wondered if her dad could. Her dad had left when she was little and had never contacted her. _He owes me_, Cate thought.

Cate was waiting for Laverne when she got home from work.

"Hi. How was school?" Laverne greeted her daughter.

"Good. How was work?" Cate said, smiling at her mother.

Laverne eyed her daughter suspiciously. "What do you want?"

"Just because I'm being nice, it doesn't mean I want something," Cate said defensively.

"Yes, it does," Laverne said.

"OK, OK. Maybe I want something," Cate admitted.

Laverne stared at Cate expectantly.

"Maybe you should sit down," Cate said. Her father wasn't exactly her mom's favorite conversation topic.

Laverne obliged.

"Do you want a glass of wine?" Cate offered.

"Are you pregnant again?" Laverne demanded, her suspicions aroused by Cate's unusual behavior.

"What? No!" Cate cried out. She glanced down at her stomach wondering if she'd gained weight.

Laverne frowned. "Last time you acted like this-"

"I'm _not_ pregnant again," Cate interrupted. She sat down beside her mother. "I just, I wanted to know where dad is."

Laverne's frown deepened. She massaged her temples, as though thinking of Cate's father gave her a headache. "Cate, you know perfectly well that I haven't heard from your father in years."

"I know! You don't even know where he is?" Cate said.

"No," Laverne replied. "And I don't care."

"You have to know where he is. What if we needed to contact him?" Cate pressed.

"What could you possibly need to contact him for?" Laverne demanded.

"Hypothetically," Cate qualified. "Like, what if Abby or I needed a kidney or something. How would we get in touch with him?"

Laverne rolled her eyes. "Do you need a kidney?"

"That's not the point," Cate retorted.

"Honestly, Cate, he hasn't done a damn thing for you in years. Do you really think he'd give you a kidney?" Laverne said, exasperated.

"Forget the kidney! I really need to talk to him," Cate said, her tone desperate.

Laverne's expression softened slightly. "What's wrong?"

"I just need to talk to my father," Cate replied, tears in her eyes.

"If you want me to help you, you have to tell me what's going on," Laverne insisted.

Cate hesitated. She knew how her mother felt about Lux. "I want to ask him to help pay for Lux's medical care."

Laverne snickered.

Cate glared at her mother. "What's so funny?"

"He never even paid for _your_ medical care," Laverne said bitterly. "He's not going to pay for your daughter's."

"I won't know until I ask," Cate said angrily.

"I know," Laverne said firmly.

"Are you going to help me or not?" Cate asked.

"I'd love to help you, but I don't know where he is," Laverne lied. "I need a glass wine."

Cate rolled her eyes.

Cate stomped up to her room angrily. She slammed the door behind her and flopped down on her bed.

How could she find her father? She didn't even know what state he lived in, so it wouldn't be as simple as looking him up in the phone book.

His parents were dead and he didn't have any relatives that Cate could contact.

Everything just felt so hopeless. No one would help her. She didn't know what to do.

Cate cried herself to sleep, not knowing what to do or who to turn to. She had no one. There was no way in hell she was going to let her daughter feel this way. She had to figure something out. She just had to.


	10. There's No Way

**Friday**

Cate sighed as she examined her reflection in the mirror and discarded yet another outfit.

Nearly half of Cate's wardrobe was thrown on the floor. She'd been trying on outfits for nearly half an hour, searching for the perfect outfit to wear to her appointment with Dr. Franklin.

She wanted to look mature. Capable. Maternal.

The only problem was that Cate didn't know what would make her look any of those things.

Her own mother usually had the opposite goal. Laverne tried desperately to look younger than she actually was. She wore clothes she thought would attract guys. Cate didn't think Laverne owned one professional outfit.

Cate finally settled on a conservative navy dress.

It was all Cate could do to sit through her morning classes. She'd already waited so long for this meeting.

Cate kept darting glances at the clock. Time seemed to be standing still.

At last the bell rang. Cate hurried out to the parking lot. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Baze. It still made her blood boil every time she ran into him.

"My dad got me a new car because Coach made me the starting quarterback," Baze was bragging to his friends.

Cate watched, glaring, as Baze led the way to a shiny red sports car. Baze pretended not to notice her gaze, but shifted uncomfortably and looked away.

Baze and his friends piled into the car. As they breezed by Cate with the windows rolled down, Cate could hear the bass of his undoubtedly expensive car stereo.

Cate scowled as she got in her mother's old beat up Honda, which she'd borrowed so she could get from school to the hospital for her meeting.

It was so unfair. Baze didn't have a care in the world. Meanwhile, Cate felt as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

Her future and her daughter's future depended on Cate. While Cate was in this meeting, Baze would be at lunch with his friends, Cate thought bitterly.

She was trying desperately to figure out how to pay for Lux's surgery. Baze was driving a car that probably retailed for about the same price as Lux's surgery.

Cate pulled into a parking spot at the hospital. She sat there, unable to move. She'd been waiting for this meeting, well, since she'd scheduled it. But she also knew all of her hopes could come crashing down today.

Cate took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She had to appear mature. She couldn't go in there and break down crying like some immature kid.

Cate felt hot as she approached Donna's office. She could feel herself beginning to sweat. She knocked on Donna's door and entered.

Cate smiled at Donna nervously. "Hi. I have an appointment with Dr. Franklin."

Donna glanced down at her calendar. "Ms. Cassidy?"

Cate nodded.

"Have a seat." Donna gestured toward a chair. "I'll let Dr. Franklin know you're here."

Cate sat down, slouching in the chair. She quickly noticed and sat up straight, crossing her legs and attempting to look ladylike. She didn't want to look like a kid the first time Dr. Franklin laid eyes on her. First impressions are important.

After a moment Dr. Franklin emerged from his office, which was just past Donna's. He was a tall and foreboding man, but he smiled kindly at Cate. "Ms. Cassidy? I'm Dr. Franklin." He extended his hand.

Cate shook it, willing herself to have a strong handshake. "I'm Cate. It's so nice to meet you."

Dr. Franklin held his office door open for Cate. Cate sat down in the chair facing his, careful to sit up straight and cross her legs.

Dr. Franklin sifted through a manila file folder. Cate strained her eyes and read Lux's name on the label.

Cate waited, unsure if she should begin or if Dr. Franklin would.

Right as Cate opened her mouth to speak, Dr. Franklin said, "I understand you want to talk to me about financing Lux's surgery?"

Cate nodded.

Dr. Franklin frowned, confusion furrowing his brow. "As a ward of the State, the State will pay for Lux's medical care."

"Yes, but I can change my mind about giving her up for adoption. I want her," Cate explained, struggling to keep her voice steady.

Dr. Franklin nodded in understanding. "And if Lux was legally your child, you would be responsible for paying for her medical care."

"Exactly. There's no way I can afford her surgery," Cate said sadly.

"Do you have insurance?" Dr. Franklin wondered.

"I do, but Lux doesn't," Cate replied.

"Is it possible to add Lux to your coverage?" Dr. Franklin asked.

"No. My coverage is through my mom's company," Cate replied, looking at the ground.

"How old are you?" Dr. Franklin asked, studying Cate.

Cate blushed slightly, but forced herself to meet his eyes. "Seventeen."

Dr. Franklin sighed.

In her lap, Cate's hands balled into fists. She clenched her fists hard, prepared to fight for her daughter. "I know I'm not the perfect mom. I'm seventeen. I'm still in high school. I can't afford to give Lux everything that she deserves."

Cate took a deep breath, fighting back tears. She would not cry in front of the Chief of Staff. She could not allow herself to cry. "But there's one thing I can give her. Love. I love her! I love her so much that I gave her up because Social Services told me she'd be better off. That she'd be adopted."

Cate's voice came out stronger now. She maintained eye contact with Dr. Franklin. "She wasn't adopted. She can't be adopted until she's healthy. According to your doctors, it could be over a year before she's strong enough for the surgery she needs. She doesn't deserve to be alone for a year or more because she was born with a heart defect."

Dr. Franklin's expression was grave. "I'm sorry. I wish I could help you. I really do. But I can't."

Cate stood up and put her hands face down on Dr. Franklin's desk. Her hands now had marks from where her nails had dug in. "I won't take no for an answer. Please," Cate pleaded.

Dr. Franklin shook his head sadly. "Your daughter isn't the only patient I have to consider. Her care is going to be very expensive. I can either write Lux's care off or use the money for equipment that has the potential to save hundreds of lives. I cannot in good conscience eat the cost on Lux's surgery and care."

Cate bit her lip. Tears stung her eyes even as she tried desperately not to cry. "Is there anything else I can do?" She whispered.

"I'm afraid not. I'm sorry," Dr. Franklin apologized.

Cate knew he truly was sorry. She could tell he felt bad by his tone of voice and facial expression.

"Thank you," Cate said. She turned for the door and left quickly. She knew she wouldn't be able to hold it together much longer.

Donna watched Cate exit Dr. Franklin's office. The poor young girl looked like she needed a hug. Donna was about to say something comforting, but Cate dashed past her before she could.

By the time Cate got to the car, she was sobbing uncontrollably. People were staring, but Cate didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore.


	11. Righting the Wrong

Cate's grief and despair quickly turned into anger.

Cate had gone through the pregnancy alone. At the age of sixteen, Cate thought bitterly.

She had nearly lost her best friend during the pregnancy. She hadn't been as close as she once was with Alice since the pregnancy. Cate doubted if their friendship would ever completely recover.

Cate had missed school and struggled to catch up after giving birth. Her goal of being Valedictorian and getting a scholarship to college was on the line as a result. After two years of working so hard to get straight A's, Cate though miserably. It was all for nothing.

Cate had been working her butt off since giving birth. Literally. She'd worked out every single day to regain her trim figure.

Cate had been dividing her time between school, work and visiting Lux in the hospital. It was overwhelming, to say the least. She'd never imagined she'd feel even more exhausted than she had at the pinnacle of her pregnancy, but she did. There simply weren't enough hours in the day to get everything done.

Cate had spent most of her miniscule paycheck on clothes for Lux. Clothes that wouldn't fit Lux for long, Cate knew.

What had Baze done, Cate thought angrily. He'd pretended that he'd never even slept with her, much less gotten her pregnant.

He hadn't had to tell his parents. He hadn't had to hide the truth from his friends. He hadn't had to miss school. He hadn't spent a dime on his daughter. He hadn't had to do anything, Cate thought resentfully.

Baze had gotten off scot-free while Cate was left to single-handedly deal with the fall-out of their hook-up.

No. Baze had gone on living a perfectly normal life as though nothing had changed when _everything_ had changed. Cate's world had been turned upside down.

Baze would be at the football game right now, Cate knew. Everyone would be cheering for him. His biggest concern was winning a stupid football game. He didn't know or care that his daughter was fighting for her life.

That was about to change, Cate decided. She pulled a U-turn, heading toward the football stadium instead of her house.

The closer Cate got to the stadium, the angrier she got. By the time she pulled into the parking lot, she was fuming. She slammed the car door shut and stormed into the stadium, her face streaked with tears.

A few people asked her if she was OK. She ignored them. Most people just pointed and stared, snickering and wondering what she was doing. Cate Cassidy looked like she was on a mission.

Cate pushed her way through the crowd, making her way down to the bottom of the stands. She stood right behind the bench where the football team sat.

"Baze, I need to talk to you," Cate said.

Several of Baze's teammates stared at her, nudging each other and nodding toward Cate. Baze stared straight ahead at the football field.

"Nate Basille!" Cate said loudly, incensed that he was ignoring her _again_. "I know I'm not your usual type and you won't admit you slept with me, but I need to talk to you and I'm not taking no for an answer!"

Cate ignored the gasps and whispers from classmates who had heard her.

Baze finally turned to face Cate, his face bright red. He wanted to dye of embarrassment. All eyes were on them. "Yeah?" He muttered.

Cate smirked. She'd never seen the most popular guy at Westmonte look so ill at ease.

"Oh, so you can hear me?" Cate said, glaring at Baze. "You have a choice. We can do this here or in private."

Baze shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want Cate to make a scene. Or, rather any more of a scene than she'd already made.

"Coach, can I be excused for a few minutes?" Baze asked.

The football coach frowned. "We're in the middle of a game!"

"I know. It's just…" Baze nodded awkwardly at Cate, who looked completely deranged.

"Make it quick," the coach said, nodding curtly.

Baze followed Cate. They weaved through the maze of people. Their classmates. Players' families. A few teachers and administrators. The stands were cluttered with football fans.

Baze's dad, John, was one of the parents watching from the stands. He saw his son leaving the football field and followed close behind.

Baze was trailing after some girl. John was not going to let his son throw his future away for one of his little girlfriends. Baze needed to get back in the game.

Baze's grades were crap. John knew his son would never get into a good college unless the school wanted Baze to play football.

Cate led the way to the parking lot. It was the only place where Baze would actually be able to hear her and they'd be away from prying eyes.

"Oh my gosh! You are the most selfish person on the planet!" Cate cried out once they were alone.

"That's ridiculous. Have you met everyone on the planet?" Baze shot back.

Cate rolled her eyes. "I know you have the emotional maturity of a two year old, but can you try to act like an adult for, like, ten seconds?"

"What do you want from me?" Baze said coolly.

"What do I want from you?" Cate repeated incredulously.

Baze stared at Cate expectantly.

"Are you kidding me? I don't know," Cate said sarcastically. "Let's see. I wanted you to not deny sleeping with me! I wanted you to actually call after you deflowered me in the back of a Minivan! I wanted you to acknowledge that I was pregnant with your child!"

Baze's expression changed from annoyed to horrified. His eyes were focused above Cate's head. Baze's inattention only served to make Cate even angrier.

"I _want_ you to listen to me when I'm talking to you," Cate said emphatically, turning to see what Baze was looking at.

John stood behind them, his face ashen. He'd heard the tail end of Cate's rant.

"Excuse me. We're having a private conversation," Cate said abruptly.

John stared in shock. "Baze, is this true?"

Cate's expression was smug, as she silently dared Baze to deny it.

Baze stared at the pavement. "Yeah, it's true," he said quietly, not daring to meet his father's gaze.

"You…have a child?" John gasped.

Cate watched Baze. She had to admit she was enjoying watching Baze squirm. He deserved it.

"No," Baze mumbled.

Cate raised her eyebrows. "This should be good."

"You don't have a child?" John demanded, losing patience.

"I, uh, got her pregnant, but she took care of it," Baze said.

"No, I didn't," Cate retorted.

Both Baze and John stared at her.

"I didn't _take care of it_. I had _our_ child. With absolutely no help from you," Cate said, her tone accusatory.

John turned to Baze. "Did you know she was pregnant?"

Baze nodded sheepishly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" John asked angrily.

Baze shrugged helplessly. "I was afraid you'd be disappointed in me."

John shook his head in disbelief. "I'm more disappointed in how you handled the situation than I would've been if you'd been honest."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't know what to do. I was only sixteen," Baze said.

"So was I!" Cate interrupted. "I was only sixteen and I had to go through a pregnancy alone."

"I'm sorry," John apologized to Cate.

Cate's expression softened slightly. "It's not _your_ fault." She glanced meaningfully at Baze.

"No, it's Baze's," John agreed. He turned to Baze. "You're almost eighteen. An adult. You'll be going to college in a year. When are you going to learn to take responsibility for your actions?"

"I'm sorry," Baze said again.

"Where is my grandchild?" John asked Cate gently.

Baze looked up curiously, wanting to know the answer.

"In the hospital," Cate muttered.

"Is he OK?" John said quickly, his voice laced with concern.

"She," Cate corrected. "Not really, no. She was born with a hole in her heart. She needs surgery to fix it. I can't afford to pay for her medical care."

Baze frowned. This was a lot to take in. He was only seventeen. He didn't want a kid. But, he couldn't help feel a little bad that his kid was in the hospital. He struggled with a mixture of unfamiliar emotions.

"I'll pay for it," John offered.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief. She felt new tears welling up in her eyes. This time Cate cried tears of relief and happiness. "Thank you so much."

"It's the least I can do," John replied, glaring at his son.


	12. It Adds Up

Cate debated whether or not she should call Fern that night. By the time she got home from the football game, it was almost 9:30 pm.

Fern wouldn't be at the office at this hour. Maybe she should leave a message, Cate thought. She literally could not wait to tell Fern she wanted Lux.

After weeks of torment, Cate could finally make it official. Lux was her daughter. When Lux was better, Cate would be taking her home, not anyone else.

Cate smiled at the thought. It was the first time she'd felt like smiling in a long time.

Cate looked up and saw Abby staring at her, an odd expression on her face.

Cate hadn't noticed Abby at the game. She hadn't been looking for Abby. She'd been at the game for one reason and one reason only. To make Baze listen to her.

Abby was wearing a Westmonte hooded sweatshirt and had a fake tattoo of the school mascot on her cheek. She must have been at the game.

"Did you sleep with Baze?" Abby asked.

Cate sighed. "Yeah."

Abby glared at her sister, her brown eyes flashing in anger. "You knew I liked him," she said, her tone accusatory.

Cate rolled her eyes. "Everyone likes him. He's the most popular guy at Westmonte. He's starting quarterback. It's not like you're some special case."

"Silly me," Abby muttered. "I thought being your sister made my feelings more important than everyone else's."

"You _are_ important. I didn't sleep with him to hurt you," Cate said. She reached for Abby, wanting to hug her little sister, but Abby moved out of reach.

"Really? Why did you sleep with him? You don't even like him!" Abby fumed.

"I did like him," Cate said softly.

"So you were lying when you told me he wasn't a good guy?" Abby demanded.

"No!" Cate said, shocked. "He's _not_ a good guy. I liked him. And then I slept with him. He showed his true colors after."

Abby smirked. "When he denied sleeping with you?"

"For starters," Cate replied. "He also blew me off when I told him I was pregnant."

Abby gasped. "He's the father?"

Cate nodded. "I thought you knew."

Abby stared at Cate in shock. "No. I heard you yelling at him at the game. Everyone was saying you slept with him. But, I thought Dewey Johnson was the father."

Cate shook her head. "I didn't sleep with Dewey Johnson. Baze was my first. My only."

"I can't believe you! You kept all of this from me! You knew I liked him!" Abby cried out.

"I kept it from everyone. I didn't really know what to do. You said it yourself. Baze denied sleeping with me," Cate said dully.

Laverne walked in on her daughters fighting. She'd just gotten back from a date with her latest boyfriend, Gary. "What's going on?"

Abby glared at Cate. "The father of Cate's baby isn't Dewey Johnson. It's Nate Basille. She's been lying to everyone."

Cate gave Abby a dirty look. "I didn't lie! I didn't say anything about the father. You guys just assumed it was Dewey."

Laverne frowned. "Nate Basille. You've never mentioned him. How well did you know him?"

"Not well," Cate admitted.

"You slept with someone you barely knew?" Laverne demanded, disappointment in her voice.

Cate nodded. "Speaking of Baze, I talked to him today."

Abby snorted. "Talked to him? It's more like you ambushed him."

Cate ignored her sister and continued, "Baze's dad is willing to pay for Lux's medical care."

"He should pay for yours while he's at it. Obstetricians don't come cheap," Laverne said.

"Do you know what this means?" Cate asked Laverne.

Laverne sighed. "What?"

"I can have Lux!" Cate said happily.

"No." Laverne shook her head.

"Yes! Mom, you said I couldn't have her because we couldn't afford her medical care. Now that's not a problem!" Cate argued.

"That's not the only thing to consider. Who is going to take care of Lux when you're at school? I have to go to work. Child care is expensive," Laverne pointed out.

"What are you going to do when you go to college? You can't have a baby in a dorm room," Laverne continued.

"Why are you so against this? She's your granddaughter!" Cate said angrily.

"I'm against you letting this one mistake ruin your life!" Laverne said. "You have such a bright future. You're going to be Valedictorian. You're going to get a full-ride scholarship for college."

"I can still do all of those things!" Cate said firmly.

Laverne shook her head. "Have you seen the statistics? Do you know the percent of teenage mothers that graduate high school? Much less college."

"I'll be one of the few who do," Cate said defiantly.

"You're seventeen. You're still a child. You can't take care of a child," Laverne said doubtfully.

"How hard can it be?" Cate wondered aloud.

Laverne smiled ruefully. "Harder than you think. She'll wake you up in the middle of the night. At the crack of dawn. You'll be too tired to function. There's no way you'll be able to keep your grades up."

"I've been exhausted. I've been going to school, working, and visiting Lux. And I've been doing fine," Cate lied.

"Exactly! You've been exhausted and Lux has been at the hospital. Imagine how tired you'll be when she's living with you," Laverne said.

Cate looked unconvinced.

"And if you think medical care is the only thing that's expensive, you're in for a rude awakening. Clothes, food, diapers, toys. It all adds up," Laverne continued.

"I know this won't be easy," Cate said, making eye contact with her mother. "I do. But, I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I want my daughter."

Laverne knew her daughter was stubborn. Once Cate made up her mind, there was no going back. Laverne sighed. "If this is what you want, I'll do what I can to help you."

"Thanks, Mom." Cate smiled brightly.

Laverne returned the smile.

For the first time in a long time, Cate slept soundly. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She could have Lux. At the end of the day, that was all that mattered.


	13. Precious Moments

**Note: I know everyone wants to see Baze connect with Lux. Eventually he will. I'm trying to write him close to the actual character. In the show, every description of Baze in high school portrays him as immature, selfish and, well, a jerk. Before all of the Baze fans get defensive, I like Baze. He's probably one of my favorite characters. I think he's changed a lot since high school. But, in this story, he's still in high school. I don't think he would immediately step up to the plate and be a good dad. So, he's not going to. It's going to take him awhile and he's going to struggle with it.

* * *

**

Cate was ready to go when John pulled up to her house the next morning. She was going to introduce him to Lux and John was going to arrange to take care of the medical bills.

"Has my granddaughter…what's her name?" John asked, realizing he didn't know.

"Lux," Cate replied, smiling slightly.

Every time she thought of her daughter, Cate became giddily happy. Almost like a schoolgirl with a crush. Except Cate only had eyes for her daughter.

John frowned. "Lux. Is that a family name?"

"No. It means light. She has blonde hair even though Baze and I have dark hair," Cate explained.

John smiled. "Her grandmother has blonde hair."

Cate returned the smile.

"Has Lux been in the hospital long?" John asked.

Cate's expression sobered instantly. "Yeah. She's been in the hospital since she was born."

John swallowed.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, both lost in their own thoughts.

Cate led the way to the nursery. Several of the nurses greeted Cate when they saw her.

"You've been spending a lot of time here," John observed.

Cate nodded. She broke into a grin when they approached Lux's basinet. "Hi, Baby," she cooed. "This is your Granddad."

"Hi, Lux," John said gently, peering into the basinet.

His expression was grave when he saw his granddaughter. He hadn't realized she would be hooked up to a ventilator and beeping machines.

Cate noticed and smiled reassuringly.

"Can I hold her?" John asked, though he was already reaching for Lux.

"No!" Cate said quickly. "She's too susceptible to infection."

John's expression was pained.

"You can touch her, but you have to wash your hands and wear this weird plastic thing," Cate said.

"She has Nate's eyes," John observed, smiling slightly.

"I always liked his eyes," Cate said. She blushed slightly when John gave her an odd look.

"I heard you were back," Alex said as she entered the nursery. She handed Cate one of the weird plastic things.

"Thanks!" Cate said gratefully. She nodded toward John. "This is Mr. Basille, Lux's grandfather. Can he get one, too?"

"Sure," Alex said, smiling at John. She left to get another one.

"You can call me John," John said awkwardly. He had a feeling he'd be spending a lot of time with Cate.

Cate didn't answer. John looked up curiously and realized Cate was in her own little world with Lux. Cate smiled in adoration as she patted Lux, her eyes glued to the tiny figure in the basinet.

John smiled as he watched Cate with Lux. He had to admit, he'd been a little concerned about a seventeen year old raising his granddaughter. Looking at Cate he could tell she loved Lux more than anything in the world and would do anything to protect her.

Alex reappeared and handed John a plastic cover-up. He put it on and moved toward Lux.

Cate watched apprehensively as John reached his hands in and patted Lux gently. He was the first person other than her and the doctors and nurses to touch Lux.

John smiled. "You're such a pretty little girl," he said softly.

Cate couldn't help but smile when Lux cuddled into John's hand. It was kind of nice to have someone else there who cared about Lux.

After a few minutes Alex suggested Cate feed her.

Cate sat down and Alex brought Lux to her.

Cate hesitated. She felt weird feeding Lux in front of John. She didn't think both Baze and his dad needed to see her boobs.

John noticed Cate's discomfort and said, "I'd like to speak with Lux's doctor."

John waited in the hallway while Alex went to get Dr. Cooper.

This was the first time Alex had left Cate alone with Lux in her arms. Cate felt strangely nervous. What if something happened? What if she did something wrong?

Don't be silly, Cate told herself. She's your daughter. Nothing's going to happen.

Lux drank thirstily. She gurgled a little.

Cate quickly forgot her worries, fascinated by her daughter.

Lux looked like a doll. She was so tiny and perfect. Well, except for the scar on her chest, Cate thought sadly.

No matter how many times Cate visited Lux, every time Lux moved or made a sound, it surprised Cate a little, reminding her that Lux was not a doll, but a little person.

* * *

"I'm Lux's doctor, Dr. Cooper." Dr. Cooper extended his hand to John.

John shook it firmly. "John Basille, Lux's grandfather. What is Lux's prognosis?"

"Lux has congenital heart defect, or a hole in her heart," Dr. Cooper began.

"She was born with it?" John interrupted.

"Yes," Dr. Cooper replied.

"Why? Is it genetic?" John wondered.

Dr. Cooper shook his head. "We don't know the cause. About one percent of newborns are born with it."

"How is it treated?" John asked impatiently.

"It depends on the severity. In Lux's case, she needs surgery to repair the defect," Dr. Cooper explained.

"Why haven't you performed the surgery? She's been her for…" John trailed off, realizing he didn't know when Lux was born.

"We did open her chest to perform the surgery. However, there were complications and-"

"What kind of complications?" John demanded.

"Lux lost a lot of blood. Her vitals were weak," Dr. Cooper said.

John swallowed. He couldn't believe his granddaughter had been through so much already. Hell, he couldn't even believe he had a granddaughter.

"Mr. Basille, I can assure you we're doing everything we can to help Lux," Dr. Cooper said gently.

"What exactly are you doing?" John asked.

Dr. Cooper sighed. "We're waiting until Lux is strong enough for another surgery. As soon as she is, I'll go in and repair the defect."

"Where did you go to medical school?" John asked.

"Johns Hopkins," Dr. Cooper said defensively.

"I want a second opinion. I want the top cardiac surgeon to look at Lux," John said firmly.

"I assure you, I'm more than capable of-"

"Apparently not. If you were, my granddaughter wouldn't be here. The first surgery would've been successful and she'd be at home where she belongs," John interrupted. He was clearly agitated.

Dr. Cooper sighed. "I can give you the name of the top cardiac surgeon in Oregon."

John scribbled the name and number down in his address book. "One more thing. I'm going to take care of the bill for Lux's treatment. Where can I see to that?"

Dr. Cooper showed John and John arranged to take care of Lux's medical bills before returning to the nursery.

John paused outside, watching Cate through the glass window.

Cate was done feeding Lux, but Lux was still in her arms. Cate was looking at Lux as though she was the most amazing creature in the world.

John noticed Cate was holding Lux as if she were breakable and smiled.

John cleared his throat as he entered the nursery. He felt a little like he was interrupting a precious moment. "How's she doing?"

"She's perfect," Cate said.

"I can't argue with that." John smiled kindly. "I talked to Dr. Cooper. I got the name of the top cardiac surgeon in Oregon. I'd like him to perform Lux's surgery."

Cate looked up in surprise. "He's probably expensive."

"I don't want you to worry about that. I've arranged to take care of everything," John said.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you," Cate said softly.

She wasn't used to people helping her. She'd been forced to take care of herself. And Abby. Because Laverne had been a drunken mess through most of Cate's childhood. It felt weird to rely on John.

John looked at Cate strangely. This teenager, who was responsible and grateful, was a far cry from Baze. "You don't need to thank me. She's my granddaughter. I want to do this."

Cate looked doubtful.

"The truth is, I should have done this a long time ago. I wish Baze had told me." John shook his head sadly. "I know you've been trying to do everything on your own, but you don't have to anymore."

Cate smiled gratefully. "Thank you."


	14. Like Me

"Baze didn't want to come?" Cate asked once they were in the car on the way home.

She didn't know why she was surprised. Baze had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to have anything to do with Lux.

"Of course not," John muttered, his tone disparaging. "I don't know what you ever saw in my son. You seem so responsible and mature. Baze couldn't be any more immature if he tried."

Cate looked down, embarrassed.

"No offense," John said quickly, realizing he'd made Cate uncomfortable. "I just…I want you to know I'm impressed with how you've handled…everything."

John wasn't used to giving compliments or praise. He'd rarely had a reason to dole them out to his own son. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Cate smiled. "Thanks. You're so nice. I can't believe Baze is your son. He's nothing like you."

John shook his head. "I know," he muttered.

John pulled up in front of Cate's house.

"Thanks again," Cate said, as she got out of the car.

* * *

"Baze!" John bellowed when he got home.

"He's sleeping," John's wife, Ellen, said.

"It's almost noon," John said, glancing at his Rolex.

He stormed upstairs and threw the door to Baze's bedroom open. John flipped the light switch.

Baze groaned. "I'm sleeping," he whined.

"Not anymore," John said firmly. "Get up. You're coming with me."

Baze yawned. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital," John said. His tone left no room for argument. "Get dressed."

Baze threw sweats on. He went downstairs and found his parents in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Ellen said, cheerful as always. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"French toast," Baze said, smiling at his mother.

Ellen prepared Baze's breakfast and served it to him. Baze didn't bother to say thank you. He devoured the French toast hungrily. He set the dirty plate on the kitchen counter, knowing Cindy would wash it.

John noticed and frowned. "Let's go."

"I want to go, too," Ellen said, surprising both John and Baze.

Baze grinned, glad his mother would be there. John wouldn't give Baze too hard a time in front of Ellen. Ellen would stick up for Baze.

John's frown deepened. "Lux isn't well."

"Lux?" Ellen said.

John smiled slightly. "That's her name. Our granddaughter."

Baze smirked. "How'd Cate come up with that weird name?"

John glared at his son. "Maybe if you'd taken responsibility for your daughter, you could have helped come up with a name."

"John," Ellen said reproachfully. "It is a bit odd."

"It means light. She has blonde hair like you. Her mother and Baze both have dark hair," John explained.

Ellen smiled.

John returned the smile and reached for Ellen's hand. "And she has Nate's eyes. She's beautiful."

"I can't wait to see her," Ellen said.

John frowned and squeezed his wife's hand. "She's not well. You need to be prepared. She's on a ventilator."

Ellen looked unconcerned.

They piled into the car. Baze immediately put headphones on, listening to his portable disc player instead of his parents.

"Ellen, we can't hold her," John warned.

Ellen frowned for the first time. "Why not?"

"She's too susceptible to infection," John said.

"I don't understand. What's wrong with her?" Ellen said, pouting slightly.

"She has a hole in her heart," John explained.

"Is she going to be OK?" Ellen asked.

"Yes. I'll call the top cardiac surgeon first thing Monday morning," John said.

"Surgeon?" Ellen frowned.

"Yes, she needs surgery to repair the defect," John said patiently.

They pulled into a parking spot in front of the hospital. John led the way to the nursery.

"This is Lux," John said softly, peering into Lux's basinet.

"Oh," Ellen said. "She's hooked up to machines and a ventilator. She's so little. She looks like she's going to break."

John put his arm around Ellen. "I tried to tell you. She's not well."

Ellen bit her lip.

Lox opened her eyes and looked around curiously. There were a lot of new faces.

"Oh, she has Nate's eyes," Ellen murmured, smiling at the baby blues.

Baze had been hovering a few feet away. He approached the basinet interestedly. "She does?"

Ellen nodded proudly.

Baze stared at the baby. "She does." He smiled slightly.

Baze studied his daughter. "She kinda looks like me."

"Because she's your child. Even though you've done absolutely nothing for her," John muttered.

Lux started crying, her wails getting louder and louder.

Baze looked as though he'd been shocked. He backed away from the basinet.

He stumbled into another basinet and the baby that had been sleeping peacefully in it woke up and cried, too.

"Look what you did," John said, his tone accusatory.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Baze mumbled.

"Just get out of here," John said angrily.

Baze obeyed. He didn't really know what to do anyway. He'd only been around his kid for a few minutes and he'd made her cry.

Baze didn't know anything about kids. He didn't have any siblings. He'd never babysat. Lux was the first baby he'd seen, Baze realized.

Baze buried his head in his hands. How had this happened to him? One minute he'd been a perfectly happy teenager. The next he was a father, Baze thought bitterly.

Cate and his father acted like he was horrible for not wanting a kid. Who wants a kid at seventeen? No one, Baze thought.

He wasn't such a bad guy. Most people would do the same thing, Baze reassured himself.

He wanted to be a normal teenager. He wanted to finish high school. Play football. Go to college. Just like everyone else.

So what if he didn't want to change diapers and wake up at the crack of dawn because Lux was crying? Who would?

Why wasn't Cate on the pill? Most girls were, Baze knew.

He'd slept with his fair share of girls and none of them had gotten pregnant. Hell, he'd slept with the entire cheerleading squad, Baze thought with a grin.

And he'd worn a condom. He'd done his part. This was all Cate's fault. She'd ruined his life, Baze thought miserably.

She should've had an abortion. Or given the kid up for adoption. What was wrong with her? Who chooses to have a kid at seventeen?

As if having the kid weren't enough, Cate had humiliated him at the football game. Now everyone knew he'd slept with the biggest dork in school and lied about it. Cate had seen to that, Baze thought resentfully.

His cheeks burned remembering the scene Cate had made at the game.

Cate had single-handedly ruined his reputation and his relationship with his father. His dad had been so proud of him just hours earlier.

Baze remembered the look of pride on John's face when he handed over the keys to Baze's new car.

"The starting quarterback needs a new car," John had said, grinning.

Now John only looked disappointed when he made eye contact with Baze, Baze thought miserably. He didn't know if his dad would ever be proud of him again.

"Are you OK?"

Baze looked up.

A pretty young nurse was smiling at him.

Baze grinned, turning on the charm. "Yeah. Hi. I'm Baze."

"I'm Alex." Alex smiled.

John and Ellen emerged from the nursery.

"Typical. You're flirting with a nurse while I take care of your daughter," John muttered, glaring at Baze.

Alex frowned. "You have a kid?"

When Alex saw John, her frown deepened. "Oh my gosh. You're Lux's father?"

Baze looked up, surprised.

"It's about time you made an appearance," Alex scolded, hands on her hips. "Cate has been here every day. You've yet to darken the doorway."

"Cate actually acts her age. My son still acts like a little kid," John retorted.

Baze stared at the tile floor, embarrassed.

"Come on. Let's go," John said.

Baze trailed after his parents.


	15. Everyone Knows

"Hi," Alex greeted Cate when Cate entered the nursery on Monday morning.

Cate always visited Lux before school. Alex usually waited with one of the weird plastic things, knowing Cate wanted as much time with Lux as possible.

"Hi," Cate said, smiling brightly. "Thanks."

"No problem." Alex noticed Cate looked better rested than she had, well, ever before.

Normally Cate looked like she'd been through the wringer. In a way, she had, Alex knew.

As if being a teen mother weren't enough to deal with, Cate also had to deal with Lux's heart condition. Throw in a deadbeat dad and the poor seventeen year old was in way over her head.

The dark circles under Cate's eyes were faded. She smiled brightly. For the first time since Alex had met her, Cate looked relaxed.

"You look happy," Alex observed.

"I am." Cate smiled.

Alex hesitated. "I, uh, met Lux's father."

Cate's eyes widened. "You did?"

Alex nodded. "He's a piece of work."

"You're telling me," Cate muttered. She remembered Lux was there and softened her tone. She didn't want to upset Lux. She cooed at her daughter.

"Are you guys together?" Alex asked.

"No," Cate said emphatically.

Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

Cate noticed and narrowed her eyes. "What? Why?"

Alex sighed. "He hit on me."

Cate rolled her eyes. "He hits on everything with boobs." She realized how that sounded and frowned. "No offense."

Alex laughed. "None taken. I kinda got that impression."

"What was he doing here? Did he, uh, see Lux?" Cate wondered aloud.

"I don't know. He was out here in the hall. Mr. Bazile and a woman…I think his wife…were in the nursery," Alex said.

Cate's face fell. She didn't know why, but she'd been hoping Baze would man up and visit his daughter.

Cate wanted to give Lux everything she'd never had. Including a father who loved her.

Cate couldn't stand the idea of Lux growing up without a father. Like me, Cate thought bitterly.

Cate wondered whether it was better to grow up without a father or with a jerk for a father. She remembered how cruel Baze had been to her. She didn't want her daughter to experience Baze's cruelty, Cate decided.

"Would you do me a favor?" Cate asked.

"Sure," Alex replied, looking at Cate expectantly. Cate rarely asked for anything.

"He probably won't, but if Baze comes back would you keep an eye on him? I don't really want him alone with Lux," Cate said quietly.

Alex smiled. "Of course."

"Is she hungry?" Cate asked hopefully. The only time she got to hold Lux was when she fed her.

"You can try feeding her," Alex replied.

Cate sat down, her excitement barely contained, as Alex placed Lux in her arms.

Cate smiled down at her daughter.

Lux stared at Cate and reached out her tiny little hands.

Cate grinned, wanting nothing more than to cuddle Lux to her chest, but knowing she couldn't.

Cate hoped the specialist John was calling would be able to perform the surgery soon.

Cate wanted to take Lux home. She wanted to hold Lux and play with her.

Alex knew Cate lost track of time when she was with Lux. Alex watched the clock.

"Don't you have to leave now?" Alex asked, not wanting Cate to be late for school.

Cate glanced at the clock and sighed. Time always passed too quickly when Cate was with Lux. Cate could stay there with her daughter forever.

"Thanks," Cate said.

Alex took Lux and set her back in her basinet.

"I'll be back later," Cate called as she left.

"I know," Alex said, laughing.

* * *

Cate took a deep breath before she entered Westmonte. She cringed as she remembered the football game.

Baze deserved what he got, but Cate knew school would be especially unbearable today.

The whispers and stares of her classmates didn't escape Cate. She held her head high and walked to class.

Cate exhaled as she took her seat beside Alice, grateful for a friendly face. "Hi."

"Hi." Alice hesitated. "Do you know what everyone's saying about you?"

Cate sighed. "Let me guess. That I slept with Baze?"

Alice nodded. "Don't worry. I know it's not true."

Cate stared at Alice.

"I'm sure it'll all blow over soon," Alice said reassuringly.

"Actually, it's true," Cate admitted.

Alice's eyes widened in shock. "You slept with the most popular guy in school?"

Cate nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alice asked, her voice laced with hurt.

Cate blushed. "He, uh, denied sleeping with me. I didn't tell anyone."

Alice frowned. "What a jerk. I understand."

Cate smiled, glad Alice wasn't mad.

"I want details! When did you guys hook up?" Alice asked eagerly.

Cate sighed. She didn't really want to talk about Baze or the night of Lux's conception, but she didn't want to hurt Alice's feelings so she didn't have much of a choice. "The night of Winter Formal. His date had to have her stomach pumped. Frankie ditched me. We were both alone. It just sorta happened."

"I wish that kind of thing would just sorta happen to me." Alice sighed wistfully. "He may be a jerk, but he's a hot jerk."

Cate smiled slightly. "He's not bad."

Alice's expression sobered. "There's something else. I know this isn't true…"

"What?" Cate asked curiously.

"People are saying that he got you pregnant," Alice whispered.

Cate bit her lip.

Alex's expression changed when she saw Cate's face. "It's not true…is it?"

Cate nodded sheepishly.

"Oh my gosh. What are you gonna do?" Alice wondered.

Cate hesitated. "I already had the baby."

"No, you didn't. I would've noticed if you were nine months pregnant," Alice retorted.

"I didn't show much until summer." Cate shrugged.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Alice said, her tone accusatory.

"I'm sorry," Cate said helplessly, wondering how everyone had found out.

She didn't think anyone had heard her and Baze talking about the baby. Unless Baze had told everyone, Cate thought doubtfully. Why would he tell everyone when he'd done everything he could to deny Lux's existence?

"Hey," Cate whispered. "How'd everyone find out I was pregnant?"

"I think Abby was telling everyone," Alice replied.

"She was?" Cate asked, horrified. She knew Abby was mad at her, but she couldn't believe Abby would betray her this way. It was unforgivable.

By lunchtime, Cate was ready to murder her little sister. The first few periods had been miserable. Everyone was talking about Cate. Absolutely everyone.

"_Why would __**he**__ sleep with __**her**__?_"

"_He must have had beer goggles when he tapped that._"

"_She doesn't __**look**__ pregnant._"

"_Did she think hooking up with the quarterback would make her popular? That's so sad._"

"_She's probably lying about being pregnant. Maybe she thinks he'll actually marry her._"

Cate tried to ignore the whispers and snickers as she made her way to the cafeteria.

"_Baze is totally hot. And she's, like, totally not._"

"_Who is Cate Cassidy? Is she new?_"

Cate grimaced. She easily found Abby sitting with her friends at her usual table.

"How could you?" Cate said as she approached Abby.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Abby retorted.

Cate grabbed her little sister's shoulders and shook her slightly, forcing Abby to meet her eyes. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out you're the one that told? How could you?"

"Let go of me!" Abby jerked free.

Cate stared at Abby. She'd expected Abby to apologize, but Abby didn't look like she felt any remorse at all.

"Now you know what it feels like," Abby said, glaring at Cate.

Cate continued to stare, confusion creasing her brow.

"To be betrayed by your own sister," Abby explained, rolling her eyes. "You _knew_ I liked Baze and you slept with him anyway. You lied to me for the better part of a year. Now everyone knows you're a liar."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," Cate said softly. "What you did, you deliberately tried to hurt me. I just, I don't know if I can ever forgive you."

Abby's eyes widened in surprise.

Cate turned on her heel and headed toward the door. She'd had enough of school for the day.

She was going to ditch and go see Lux. Visiting her daughter would cheer Cate up, she knew.

On her way out, Cate ran into Baze. He was hanging out outside in front of the school building.

He glared at Cate. "Congratulations. Everyone knows."

Cate ignored him. He was the last person she felt like talking to at the moment.


	16. Second Opinion

Cate's scowl disappeared as she approached the nursery. Even though she'd just seen Lux a few hours ago, she already missed her terribly. She smiled as she approached Lux's basinet.

But, when Cate arrived at Lux's basinet, it was empty. Cate sucked in a sharp breath.

She reminded herself of the last time Lux's basinet had been empty. Cate had prepared for the worst when really Dr. Cooper had just been examining Lux. Cate took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

But, Dr. Cooper always examined Lux in the morning, Cate knew. Why would he be examining Lux now? Unless something was wrong.

Cate wasn't sure if she felt like crying because she was worried about Lux or because she'd had such a bad day, but she knew she was on the verge of tears.

Alex found Cate crying quietly in the nursery. "Hey. What's wrong?" Alex asked gently, putting her hand on Cate's shoulder.

"Where's Lux?" Cate asked instead of answering.

"She's OK," Alex said quickly. "A cardiac surgeon from Portland Grace Hospital is examining her."

"Why? What happened?" Cate said in between sobs.

"Nothing," Alex insisted, rubbing Cate's shoulder comfortingly. "Mr. Bazile called him in. I'll take you to them."

Cate wiped her tears and tried to compose herself, embarrassed that she'd overreacted. She didn't want John to see her like this. He'd been impressed with her maturity and now she was crying like a little kid, Cate thought ruefully.

"Cate!" John said, surprised when Cate and Alex entered the hospital room. Shouldn't she be in school?

"Hi," Cate said, smiling slightly. Her smile disappeared when she saw Lux lying on the examination table.

"I'd like you to meet Dr. Burke," John said to Cate. He turned to the doctor. "This is Lux's mother."

"It's nice to meet you," Cate said politely. "How's Lux?"

"She's doing quite well," Dr. Burke replied. "Now I have Lux's medical history, but I want new X-rays, a new MRI and a new echocardiogram."

Cate's brow furrowed in confusion. "Lux has already had all of that."

Dr. Burke nodded. "Yes, but I'd like more recent test results before I determine Lux's treatment plan."

Cate's frown deepened. "Has she gotten worse?"

"There's no reason to be concerned," Dr. Burke assured Cate.

"OK, I guess," Cate said uncertainly.

Dr. Burke nodded toward a nurse, Danielle, and she took Lux to run the new tests he had ordered.

"Can I come?" Cate asked softly, wanting to be there for her daughter.

"Yes," Danielle replied, smiling reassuringly at Cate.

Cate watched helplessly as Danielle ran the tests, poking and prodding her baby. Lux whimpered and reached for Cate.

"Almost done," Danielle said soothingly, as much for Cate's benefit as Lux's.

Danielle finished up and smiled at Cate. "We can go back to the exam room now."

"That's it?" Cate asked tentatively, glancing at her daughter who looked so small and helpless.

Danielle nodded.

They went back to the exam room. John was still there, but Dr. Burke had disappeared.

"Cate, Dr. Burke is the top cardiac surgeon in Oregon. Lux is in great hands," John said gently, putting his hand on Cate's shoulder.

Cate looked up at John. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful. I really appreciate everything you're doing for Lux, but why did you have him examine Lux without talking to me? I mean, I'm her mother."

"I called him first thing this morning. I wanted the best for Lux. I didn't know he'd be available on such short notice, but he was and I wanted him to look at Lux as soon as possible," John explained.

"That makes sense," Cate said thoughtfully. "I want to be here when he performs the surgery, though."

John smiled. "Of course."

Dr. Burke knocked on the door before entering.

Both John and Cate stared at him expectantly. Cate was wringing her hands together nervously. She studied Dr. Burke, but his face betrayed no sign of emotion. She held her breath, wondering if he came bearing good news or bad news.

"I can perform the surgery and repair the defect," Dr. Burke said confidently.

"When?" Cate asked, releasing her breath.

"It is my opinion that Lux is strong enough now. However, Dr. Cooper feels it would be better to wait until Lux is stronger. In this case, it's a judgment call," Dr. Burke said.

"What happens if she's not strong enough and you perform the surgery?" Cate asked quietly.

"We will monitor Lux throughout the surgery. If there are any complications, we'll stop the surgery immediately," Dr. Burke said.

Cate swallowed. "But last time she almost died."

Dr. Burke nodded. "Any surgery is risky. I can't make any guarantees. I can tell you this is a simple procedure that I've performed thousands of times."

Cate bit her lip, not completely satisfied with the answer. She didn't care about the other times Dr. Burke had performed the surgery. She only cared about this time. She understood that he couldn't make any guarantees, but when Lux's life was on the line Cate needed one.

Cate turned to John. "What do you think?"

"I think Dr. Burke is the top cardiac surgeon and I trust his opinion. I'd like him to perform the surgery sooner rather than later so we can get Lux out of this hospital," John said confidently.

Cate wavered. She wanted desperately to get Lux out of the hospital. Still, the thought that making the wrong decision could result in Lux's death held Cate back. Cate didn't know if she could make this decision.

"I don't know," Cate said honestly. "I need to think about it."

"I understand," Dr. Burke said kindly.

John frowned, but knew it was ultimately Cate's decision. He pasted a smile on his face as he turned to Dr. Burke. "We'll be in touch. Thank you."

"Yeah, thank you," Cate chimed in as an afterthought. She was glad that Lux was in capable hands. She just wished Lux's life wasn't in _her_ hands at the moment.

"I have to get back to work," John said regretfully as they walked back to the nursery. "I hope you'll consider moving forward with the surgery."

"I want him to perform the surgery. I hate that Lux has been in the hospital her whole life. I want so badly to hold her and play with her and take her to the park. But, if she's not ready, she could die," Cate said what she'd been thinking aloud.

"Dr. Burke thinks she's ready," John reminded her.

"But Dr. Cooper doesn't," Cate pointed out. "I'd feel better if they were in agreement."

John nodded in understanding. "Keep me appraised of your decision."

Cate nodded, smiling slightly.

When John left, Danielle asked Cate if she wanted to feed Lux. Of course Cate agreed, excited to have her daughter in her arms. It was too rare an occurrence.

Cate stared down at Lux in awe. Sometimes she still couldn't believe she was responsible for this tiny little person who could move and breathe. Cate didn't know what she would do if she made the wrong decision and Lux died.

"I love you so much," Cate said softly, smiling lovingly at her daughter. "I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you."

Lux's little fingers grabbed a strand of Cate's hair. Cate smiled. Any contact with Lux felt so good. Although actually Lux was pulling kind of hard and it was starting to hurt.

Cate hesitated before gently moving Lux's hand. Lux lowered her hand and her fingers felt Cate's necklace.

"What are you doing?" Baze's voice startled Cate. She tore her gaze away from Lux to find Baze standing in the doorway of the nursery.

Cate fixed Baze with a deadly stare. "Spending time with our daughter. I know it's a foreign concept to you."

Baze shifted uncomfortably and stared at the ground.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Cate demanded.

"I wanted to see her," Baze mumbled.

"What?" Cate asked. She couldn't hear him.

Baze looked up, his face reddening. "I, uh, wanted to see her."

Cate's expression changed from one of disdain to one of surprise. "Why?"

Baze shrugged. "She kinda looks like me."

Cate rolled her eyes. "She's your daughter even though you told everyone you never slept with me."

Baze looked down again, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Cate asked in shock. She'd never expected to hear Baze apologize.

"I'm sorry I lied," Baze said, meeting Cate's eyes.

Cate rolled her eyes. She'd been hoping he was actually apologizing for not being there for Lux.

She still wanted Lux to have a dad even though she knew Lux's dad was a colossal jerk. Of course he was only apologizing for lying, which was just the tip of the iceberg.

Baze noticed Cate's expression. "My friends heard we hooked up and they were making fun of me," he said defensively.

"Thank you for apologizing," Cate said.

"It's your turn," Baze said, glaring at Cate.

"For what?" Cate practically spat out.

Baze gave Cate a hard look. "Having our kid without telling me. Telling everyone, including my dad, that I got you pregnant."

"Oh! Oh, I did _not_ tell everyone you got me pregnant," Cate said angrily.

"Yeah, you did," Baze said, his tone accusatory. "Everyone knows."

"Yeah, because my sister told," Cate retorted. "She's mad because she has a crush on you."

Baze's eyes widened in shock. He'd been sure Cate was the one who told. He remembered what he'd said to her as she left Westmonte and cringed slightly. "Annie told?"

"Abby," Cate corrected, smiling slightly at the mistake. Despite Abby's over the top flirtation, Baze didn't even know who she was. She was still furious with her little sister.

"I didn't know," Baze mumbled. "I'm sorry…for what I said earlier."

Cate had a snarky comeback on the tip of her tongue, but stopped when she saw Baze's face. He actually looked like he felt bad. She knew he must have had a pretty bad day, too, and it was kind of her fault since Abby was her sister.

"You couldn't have known," Cate said instead.

Baze moved toward Cate, encouraged slightly.

Cate quickly covered her chest. She'd been trying to feed Lux.

Baze smirked.

"What?" Cate asked defensively.

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked before," he said, grinning.

Cate looked down, embarrassed. When she finally looked up again, she noticed Baze was staring at Lux. He was smiling slightly.

As soon as Baze felt Cate's gaze, he looked away.

Lux started crying suddenly, surprising both her parents.

Baze held up his hands defensively. "I didn't do anything."

Cate rolled her eyes. "Of course you didn't do anything."

Baze looked up, surprised. Last time Lux had cried his dad had acted like it was all Baze's fault.

"She's a baby. She cries. Shocking, I know," Cate said sarcastically.

She patted Lux and talked in a soft, soothing tone until Lux quieted.

Baze watched, impressed. "Wow. How'd you do that?"

Cate laughed at the question.

"No. Seriously. How'd you do that?" Baze asked again.

Cate shrugged. She didn't really know what to say. "She's had a hard day."

"Why?" Baze asked. Cate thought she detected concern in his voice.

Cate sighed. "She's been poked and prodded all day. They ran a bunch of tests."

"What kind of tests?" Baze wondered.

"Tests to see if she's ready for surgery," Cate replied.

"Is she?" Baze asked.

Cate swallowed. "I don't know. One doctor doesn't think so, but the top cardiac surgeon in Oregon does."

"So listen to the top guy," Baze said easily.

Cate frowned. "If he's wrong, Lux could die."

Baze gasped.

Cate stared at him. "Don't act so shocked. She's been fighting for her life since the day she was born."

"I didn't know that. I didn't even know I had a kid," Baze pointed out. "Then you made a big scene at the game and told me she was in the hospital. I thought you were just being dramatic."

Cate remembered how shocked she'd been when the hospital called because they needed her to donate blood. She'd known she had a daughter and she'd _still_ been completely overwhelmed. It made sense for Baze to feel that way when he found out he had a daughter and that she was sick all at once, Cate realized. It was a lot for anyone. Especially the immature quarterback.

"Yeah, well, I wasn't and now if I make the wrong decision our daughter could die," Cate muttered.

Baze instinctively reached for Cate's hand.

Cate stared at him. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, uh, nothing," Baze said quickly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Cate smirked.

"What are you gonna do?" Baze asked.

"I don't know," Cate admitted quietly.

"Will you, uh, let me know?" Baze asked.

"As soon as I figure it out," Cate said.


	17. In My Hands

Cate stayed at the hospital until visiting hours ended. She was dreading going home. She did _not_ want to see Abby.

How could Abby just tell everyone? No matter how mad Abby was that Cate had slept with Baze, they were sisters. To betray Cate this way was unforgivable.

Cate took a deep breath as she opened the front door. She was hoping to go straight to her bedroom without seeing Abby.

"Cate? Is that you?" Laverne called from the kitchen.

Cate sighed. "Yeah." She headed into the kitchen, where Abby and Laverne were sitting at the table.

Abby shifted uncomfortably in her chair. She smiled slightly, trying to gauge Cate's reaction.

Cate fixed Abby with an icy stare.

"How was school?" Laverne asked, completely oblivious to the tension between her daughters.

Cate rolled her eyes. "It's nine o'clock. School's been out for hours."

"You've been at the hospital?" Laverne said knowingly.

Cate nodded.

"How's Lux?" Laverne wondered.

"Not good," Cate replied.

Laverne looked up, interested.

"You know, she needs this surgery to fix the hole in her heart. The doctor who's been treating her thinks she's not ready, but the top surgeon in Oregon thinks she is," Cate explained.

Laverne frowned. "The top surgeon in Oregon? How much did you pay for a consultation?"

"Baze's dad is taking care of it," Cate said, unconcerned.

"For how long?" Laverne muttered.

"He's taking care of it," Cate said firmly.

Laverne sighed. "Cate, this boy denied sleeping with you. Where were he and his dad during the pregnancy? What makes you so sure his dad isn't going to bail on you and Lux?"

Abby smirked.

Cate's hands balled into fists. "His dad didn't know he'd gotten me pregnant. He's trying to make things right."

Laverne looked unconvinced.

"OK, Mom, what's this really about? Is it really about Lux? Or is it about Dad bailing on us?" Cate demanded, hands on her hips.

Laverne drained her wine and struggled to pour another glass, splashing the amber liquid onto the table.

"That's just great, Mom," Cate said sarcastically. She mopped up the spilled wine. "You know, maybe the reason Dad left is because of your little problem."

Abby gasped.

"Please, your father left because he had commitment issues," Laverne said defensively.

Cate rolled her eyes. "How many bottles of wine have you gone through this week?"

"So I enjoy an occasional glass of wine. There's nothing wrong with that," Laverne said.

Cate opened the cabinet below the sink and sifted through the trash, pulling empty bottles out and lining them up on the counter. By the time she was done, there were more empty bottles than days of the week.

Laverne massaged her temples, as though dealing with Cate was giving her a headache.

Abby stared at the bottles in shock. She knew her mom drank, but she hadn't realized how bad it actually was.

"I'm going to bed," Cate said. She couldn't deal with her family on top of everything else. Lux's surgery was more than enough for her to deal with.

Cate lay down on her bed in the fetal position. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know if she was capable of making this decision.

If she made the wrong decision, her daughter could die. Her daughter's life was literally in her hands. It was too much.

The hardest decision her classmates had to make was which colleges to apply to, Cate thought enviously.

Every decision Cate made would affect Lux, Cate realized.

How Cate acted toward Baze could shape Lux's relationship with her father. If she even had a relationship with her father.

Not to mention the million-dollar question: Should she allow Dr. Burke to operate on Lux?

She allowed herself to imagine for a moment that the surgery was successful. She would be able to bring Lux home. At last. She could hold Lux in her arms any time she wanted, not just when she was feeding Lux, Cate thought eagerly. She smiled to herself.

Lux had yet to leave the hospital. She's spent her entire life in the cold, sterile hospital with doctors and nursed poking and prodding her. It wasn't fair, Cate thought miserably. Lux deserved better. She deserved so much more.

Cate remembered the scene in the kitchen that night and couldn't help but wonder if Lux would really be better off here.

Cate knew better than anyone else the hardship of growing up in a house with a drunk. She didn't want Lux to go through what she had.

And Abby and her weren't getting along at all. How far would Abby go to get back at Cate for sleeping with Baze? Would Abby stoop so low as to hurt Lux? Cate bit her lip.

She didn't think Abby was that vicious, but she would never have thought Abby capable of telling everyone about her pregnancy either. The truth was Cate didn't know what Abby was capable of.

A knock on the door dragged Cate back from her thoughts. She sighed. She didn't want to talk to her mom. "Come in."

Cate looked up in surprise when Abby opened the door.

"I thought you were Mom," Cate said, her tone accusatory.

"You must be really mad at me if you'd rather be talking to her," Abby said, smiling slightly.

"Can you blame me?" Cate said, shooting a withering stare at Abby.

"No," Abby said sadly. She hesitated. "Cate, did you mean what you said? At school?"

Cate stared at Abby quizzically.

"That you can never forgive me," Abby said quietly.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," Cate said truthfully. "You deliberately tried to hurt me in the worst way possible. I can't trust you anymore."

Abby's face fell. She looked like she was about to cry. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make it better. Sorry doesn't change the fact that the entire school knows I was pregnant!" Cate said, her tone harsh.

A tear rolled down Abby's face.

Cate didn't feel any sympathy for her little sister.

"How did you think Baze would react when he found out you were the one who told everyone?" She demanded, hands on her hips.

"He knows?" Abby gasped.

"You told the whole school," Cate pointed out. "Of course he knows. Did you think you were only hurting me?"

Abby stared at the floor.

Cate shut the door behind Abby's retreating back.

Cate was a perfectionist. She never did anything unless she knew it would turn out well. Giving the go ahead for Lux's surgery when the outcome was so uncertain went against every fiber in Cate's being.

She sat down at her desk and made a pro/con list. She needed a clear-cut answer. She didn't trust her gut when Lux's life was in her hands.

The only con Cate could come up with was that Lux could die. It was a big con, but it stood alone beside a long list of pros.

Lux had almost died during the first surgery, but she hadn't. She was strong. She was a fighter. And this time Cate would be there for her. Cate could donate blood. Whatever Lux needed Cate could give her. Cate wanted to give it to her.

Cate picked up the phone and dialed Baze. She hung up before he could pick up.

She felt weird calling him. This was the guy who had denied sleeping with her. Baze was not a good guy.

But he was Lux's dad. Whether Cate liked it or not. And Cate knew he deserved to know that she was going to approve Lux's surgery. More importantly, Lux deserved to have both her parents there for her.

Cate took a deep breath and dialed the number again.

"Hello?" Ellen said into the receiver.

"Uh, hi. Is, uh, Baze there?" Cate said.

"May I ask who's calling?" Ellen asked curiously.

"Cate. Cate Cassidy," Cate said.

"Oh, of course. Just a moment," Ellen said. Cate could hear Ellen calling Baze.

"Cate?" Baze said, surprised.

"Yeah. I, uh, just wanted to let you know I'm gonna let Dr. Burke perform Lux's surgery," Cate said.

"Thanks for, uh, letting me know," Baze said.

"Of course. Can you tell your dad he can go ahead and call Dr. Burke?" Cate wondered.

"Of course," Baze replied.

"Thanks. Bye," Cate said, eager to end the awkward phone call.

"See you tomorrow," Baze said awkwardly.

Cate couldn't help wonder if Baze really meant it. Would he actually deign to speak to her at school tomorrow? Or would he go back to treating her like she didn't exist? Cate sighed.


	18. Twist of Fate

"The doctor's going to take care of you. He's going to make you all better," Cate said, smiling lovingly down at Lux.

Baze stood beside Cate. He didn't really know what to say. He just knew he felt like he was going to be sick. His stomach was tied in knots. He looked at his daughter with fear in his eyes.

"You are such a strong girl," Cate cooed. Lux's little hand gripped Cate's recently washed hand. Cate squeezed Lux's hand gently.

Baze smiled slightly, reassured by Cate's optimism.

"It's time," Alex said gently.

Cate hesitated. She couldn't bear to let go of Lux.

"I need to prep Lux for her surgery," Alex said more firmly.

Cate removed her hand from Lux's basinet and watched as Alex scooped Lux up.

John put his hand on Cate's shoulder reassuringly. "Dr. Burke is the best. Lux will be just fine."

Cate bit her lip, her eyes glued to Lux.

"I'll be here waiting when you get done," Cate promised as Lux disappeared from view.

Cate and Baze sat down in the waiting area while John went to square things away with the doctor.

Baze buried his face in his hands.

Cate stared at him in surprise. "Are you scared?"

Baze raked a hand through his wavy brown hair. "Yeah. I mean, she could die."

Cate swallowed. Leave it to Baze to voice her worst fear at the worst possible time.

Baze winced when he saw Cate's expression. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault. I mean, it is, but I know you don't think before you open your mouth," Cate said.

"I guess I deserved that," Baze acknowledged, shifting uncomfortably.

"No one deserves this. What we're going through right now," Cate said gently.

Baze nodded in agreement. "Cate?"

"What?" Cate asked, meeting Baze's gaze.

"Do you think she'll be OK?" Baze asked quietly.

"She has to be," Cate whispered desperately.

"You usually seem so OK. You always know what to do," Baze said.

Cate smiled ruefully. She hadn't really known what to do since she'd had Lux. She definitely hadn't known whether she should approve Lux's surgery. It was the hardest decision she'd ever had to make and it could have deadly consequences. Cate wouldn't be able to live with herself if her decision caused her daughter's death.

Baze watched the emotions play on Cate's face. "Now you don't seem so OK," he continued, subconsciously reaching for Cate's hand.

"How can I be OK when our daughter is fighting for her life?" Cate said, tears in her eyes.

"I don't know if I'm more scared because Lux is in surgery or because you're scared," Baze admitted. "I know if you're scared, there's something to be afraid of."

"There you are," Laverne said, panting as she joined Cate and Baze. "I came as soon as I could. Work was crazy busy."

"Thanks for coming." Cate smiled at Laverne.

Laverne had been trying. She'd gotten Cate and Abby's old crib out for Lux.

"Who's this?" Laverne checked Baze out and smiled approvingly.

Cate rolled her eyes. "This is Baze. This is my mom."

"Baze?" Laverne's smile widened and she nodded knowingly. She was relieved her daughter had lost her virginity to such a good-looking guy instead of the dorky school mascot.

Baze shifted uncomfortably. "It's, uh, nice to meet you."

Laverne noticed that Baze's hand was clasping her daughter's and raised her eyebrows. "Are you two together?"

"No!" Cate said quickly. She hastily freed her hand from Baze's.

"No," Baze agreed. He stood up and began pacing.

John appeared with coffee for Baze and Cate.

"Thanks," Baze mumbled, taking his and handing Cate hers.

"Yes, thank you," Cate said gratefully. She nodded toward Laverne. "This is my mom."

John extended his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Laverne shook his hand, smiling flirtatiously.

Cate rolled her eyes. "Mom, he's married," she hissed under her breath.

"Oh," Laverne said, disappointment evident in her voice. "How long is the surgery going to take?"

"I don't know. A few hours," Cate replied.

"In that case, I'm going to go get a drink," Laverne said.

"You do that," Cate muttered, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

Baze pretended he couldn't hear, though he'd heard every word of the exchange. No wonder Cate seemed so self-sufficient. She'd probably been taking care of herself her whole life. Her mom was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Sorry. She's-" Cate began.

"It's OK," Baze said quickly, smiling slightly.

"No, it's not," Cate muttered under her breath. She still had serious reservations about bringing Lux home. She didn't want Lux living with an alcoholic.

"Where's your dad?" Baze asked curiously.

"They're divorced," Cate said.

"Do you ever see him?" Baze wondered.

Cate shook her head sadly.

Baze opened his mouth to ask another question, but stopped, realizing it might be a sensitive subject.

Cate noticed and smiled slightly. "You're actually filtering. I'm impressed."

Baze grinned boyishly.

"Your dad is great," Cate commented.

Baze frowned. "Yeah, as long as you're not me."

Cate smirked. "Can you blame him? You never even told him you got me pregnant."

"Yeah, because I didn't want him to be disappointed in me," Baze said dully. "So much for that."

"Of course he was disappointed. What, do you think my mom congratulated me when I told her?" Cate shot back.

Baze looked up in surprise, blinking. He'd never even though about how Cate's mom had reacted. "Was she pissed?"

"That's an understatement," Cate said, rolling her eyes. "But she got over it. And so did your dad. He's not disappointed anymore. He loves you. And he loves Lux."

"He loves Lux anyway," Baze muttered.

Cate smiled slightly and touched Baze's forearm. "He loves you, too. Can't you see? He loves Lux because she's yours."

Baze looked unconvinced.

Dr. Burke cleared his throat to get their attention.

Cate immediately sat up straight and fixed her gaze on Dr. Burke. "Did you perform the surgery? Is Lux OK?"

"Lux is in recovery. I was able to repair the defect," Dr. Burke said.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Dr. Burke nodded.

"Can I see her?" Cate asked hopefully. She needed to see for herself that her daughter was OK.

"The anesthesia hasn't worn off. She's sleeping," Dr. Burke said.

"Please?" Cate asked desperately. She needed to see for herself that Lux was OK.

"Alex will take you to her room," Dr. Burke said.

Alex nodded and led the way to Lux's room.

Cate stared at Lux. She was lying so still. If Cate didn't know any better, she'd think Lux was a doll.

Lux's little chest moved as she breathed in and out. Cate beamed down at her daughter.

"She's OK," Cate murmured. For the first time, Cate knew Lux was going to be OK. Everything was going to be OK.

Cate felt as though an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt more carefree than she had, well, since before she took the pregnancy test. It was ironic that a little over a year ago Cate would have done just about anything to not have a daughter and now she was relieved that her daughter was OK.

"Good night, Kiddo," Baze said quietly, smiling at Lux. He blushed slightly when he felt his father's gaze on him.

"Can I talk to you?" Cate asked John while Baze watched Lux sleeping.

"Of course." John smiled and held the door, following Cate into the hall.

"I just wanted to say thank you again," Cate began.

John stopped her. "Cate, Lux is my granddaughter. I wanted to do this for her. You don't have to keep thanking me."

Cate nodded.

"I'll continue to do what I can for Lux. I don't want her to go without. Do you have her nursery set up?" John continued.

"I have a crib," Cate said, wondering what else she needed and how much it would cost.

"Ellen loves to decorate rooms. She'd be happy to help," John said kindly. He hesitated. "I don't know how much…support you have at home, but Ellen and I will also have a room for Lux at our house and you and Lux are welcome anytime."

"Thanks," Cate said gratefully.

It felt weird to depend on John. Cate wasn't used to depending on people for things. Her own mother wasn't very dependable, Cate thought. Where was Laverne, Cate wondered. Cate hadn't seen her mother since she disappeared to get a drink.

It felt good to have John there. Cate wasn't alone anymore. Lux would have a family. Lux would have the family Cate had never had. A loving mother, a father who was there and a wonderful grandfather. Cate smiled at the thought. She wanted to give Lux everything she'd never had.


	19. Ready or Not

Abby hesitated at the threshold to Cate's bedroom. Cate was still barely speaking to her.

Abby had tried to make things right. She'd been extra nice to Cate, but Cate barely seemed to notice.

Abby had offered to cook dinner for Cate the last few nights. Abby was the only Cassidy with any skill in the kitchen. Cate and Laverne somehow managed to ruin everything. Even toast. Still, Cate had made it perfectly clear that she'd rather starve to death than forgive Abby.

Abby took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the open door before entering Cate's bedroom.

Cate was studying her reflection in the mirror. It looked like half her wardrobe was discarded on the floor.

Cate looked up and frowned when she saw Abby. "What do you want?"

Abby swallowed. "I just, uh, wanted to see if you're ready for school. I'm getting ready to leave."

"I'm still getting ready," Cate said shortly, her gaze focused on her closet, not her little sister.

"I can wait," Abby offered hopefully. "You look nice. What-"

"I'll be awhile. You can go ahead," Cate interrupted.

"OK." Abby disappeared down the stairs.

Cate knew what Abby was trying to do, but she wasn't ready to forgive her little sister for telling the whole school about Lux.

She also didn't want to discuss why she was trying to look nice today with Abby. The reason Cate had tried on every dress she owned that morning was that she was meeting Baze's mom for the first time after school. Ellen was taking her shopping for Lux's nursery.

Cate didn't know why she was so nervous. John was great. But in the back of Cate's mind she worried that Baze's mom would judge her. She knew his family was well-off.

What would his mom think of the girl from the wrong side of the tracks who'd gotten knocked up at sixteen? Cate blew out a breath, smoothing the black dress she'd decided on and adjusting her necklace. This was as good as it was going to get.

After school, Cate touched up her make-up in the ladies' room at Westmonte. She dabbed concealer on a zit.

Although she usually had pretty skin, Cate had broken out the week of Lux's surgery. Laverne said stress was making Cate break out and she would need to clean up her face if she wanted to be with a hot guy like Baze, Cate remembered angrily. Of course she'd been stressed out. Her daughter was having surgery.

Cate's skin was clearing up now. Knowing Lux would be OK was the best medicine. Now Cate wasn't stressed. Well, that wasn't entirely true. Cate was stressed about normal things like doing well on tests, not extraordinarily stressful things like her daughter living or dying.

Cate smiled as she examined her reflection. She looked pretty good if she did say so herself.

Cate dug directions to the Bazile's out of her purse and began walking. Cate turned off the main road into a subdivision consisting of nice two-story houses. She couldn't help but compare the posh neighborhood with her own. There was no way Ellen would think Cate was good enough, Cate thought miserably.

Cate double checked the address and took a deep breath before ringing the Bazile's doorbell.

A middle-aged blonde woman opened the door and smiled brightly. "You must be Cate. I'm Ellen. It's so nice to meet you."

Cate smiled and shook Ellen's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

Ellen led the way to the kitchen. It smelled like freshly baked cookies.

"Would you like anything to eat or drink?" Ellen asked politely. She offered Cate a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Cate accepted a cookie. "Thanks."

This was just perfect. Baze's mom was born to be a mother, whereas Laverne was an alcoholic who didn't know how to boil an egg. Cate had never had a good example. How could she possibly be a good mother?

Ellen sipped a cup of coffee and studied the young girl standing across from her. Cate was pretty. The way Baze had described the mother of his child Ellen had been expecting a geek in glasses with headgear.

Between this girl and Baze, Ellen's granddaughter was bound to be a beauty. Lux seemed to take after their side of the family, though. The child had Ellen's hair. Ellen smiled at the thought.

"Would you like to see Lux's room?" Ellen asked.

Cate frowned. Lux's room would be at her house. Then she remembered John had mentioned they'd also have a room for Lux at their house and nodded.

Ellen showed Cate a beautiful nursery upstairs. Cate noticed that the room was larger than the master bedroom at Cate's house. The walls were painted pale pink with white trim. The bedspread and drapery were white with pink rosebuds on them. Toys and stuffed animals abounded.

"It's beautiful," Cate said politely, though she was thinking of the ancient crib in the corner of her own bedroom. Lux didn't even have her own room at Cate's house. Cate suddenly felt very inadequate.

"How big is Lux's room at your house?" Ellen wondered.

Cate blushed slightly. "Lux is going to sleep in my room."

Ellen nodded in approval. "Nate slept in our room for the first few months."

Cate smiled, declining to mention that Lux was sleeping in her room because her own house didn't have any extra bedrooms.

They got into Ellen's black Mercedes and drove to the mall.

"How long did you and Nate go out for?" Ellen asked conversationally. Nate hadn't given her very much information on Lux's conception. Ellen couldn't keep track of Baze's many girlfriends, but she didn't remember him mentioning Cate Cassidy at all.

Cate looked down, embarrassed. "We, uh, didn't actually go out."

Ellen pursed her lips. "How did this happen?"

"Lux was conceived on the night of Winter Formal," Cate said carefully.

Ellen frowned. "But Nate went with Mary." She knew Nate had gone with a cheerleader named Mary. The parents had met at the Bazile's to take pictures of the kids before the limo left.

Cate bit her lip. She knew Baze's date drank too much and had been taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped, but she didn't know what his parents knew. She was surprised at her reluctance to get him in trouble. Not too long ago she would have jumped at the chance to get Baze in trouble. She knew he deserved it.

"Mary got sick," Cate fibbed.

"Oh," Ellen said. "Where was your date?"

Cate's cheeks burned. She didn't want to admit her own date had ditched her for another girl. "My date left early," she said. It was kind of true, she reasoned. Frankie had left Cate early.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief when Ellen pulled up to the mall. She hoped the interrogation was over. Cate was pretty sure Ellen was far from impressed with the mother of her grandchild.

Ellen led the way into one of the nicer department stores in the mall. They rode the escalator up to the second floor and easily found the furniture department.

"We'll need a crib, a dresser, a changing table, a rocking chair…" Ellen began listing off necessities for the nursery.

"I already have a crib," Cate said quickly.

"Oh. What else do you have?" Ellen wondered.

"Nothing," Cate admitted sheepishly.

"OK. Do you like this dresser?" Ellen gestured toward a small white dresser.

Cate studied the dresser, wondering how she would fit all of Lux's furniture in her bedroom. Cate's room was already pretty crowded with Cate's bed, dresser and desk.

Cate could probably get rid of her dresser. She could hang most of her own clothes and use a dresser for Lux's outfits. "Yeah," she finally said.

Ellen smiled and found a sales associate to order the dresser.

Changing tables were larger than Cate had thought. Truthfully, she hadn't really thought about changing tables at all. She'd been thinking all Lux would need was a crib and high chair. Cate felt unbelievably stupid. Lux needed a lot of things that had never even occurred to Cate. The changing table would take up more room than the dresser.

Cate forced herself to smile and nod when Ellen selected a changing table and asked if Cate liked it.

"You have a crib. Do you have bedding as well?" Ellen asked.

"No," Cate replied.

"OK. We'll get some," Ellen said, leading the way toward the bedding.

Ellen immediately headed for the pink bedding. The room Ellen had decorated in the Bazile's betrayed her preference for pink.

Cate wasn't crazy about pink, but she didn't want to hurt Ellen's feelings and Ellen was paying for everything.

Cate was drawn to a multicolored quilt with pink, green, yellow, turquoise and white patches. Ellen noticed and asked, "Do you like that?"

Cate smiled. "Yes."

Ellen grabbed the bedding and began finding decorations that matched the quilt. Cate forgot how cramped her bedroom was as they selected cute knickknacks for Lux. Cate smiled wide, imagining Lux at home with all of these beautiful things. Lux would finally be free of the hospital she'd spent her entire life in.

Cate gasped audibly when Ellen paid for everything. She hadn't realized how much everything would cost. They'd spent nearly $1,000.

Ellen looked at Cate curiously.

"I didn't mean for you to spend this much. I'm sorry," Cate said apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," Ellen said kindly.

"Thank you," Cate said.

"You're welcome," Ellen said, smiling.

* * *

Lux's furniture was delivered the following afternoon. The guys who delivered it felt bad for Cate and helped her move her old furniture around to accommodate the additions. It was definitely tight, but they managed to squeeze everything into the little bedroom.

Cate made the bed, carefully smoothing Lux's bedding and setting a plush bunny in the crib. Cate smiled at the end result. It turned out cute. She couldn't wait to bring Lux home.

Cate picked up the telephone receiver and dialed the hospital. She now knew the number by heart. She visited with the nurse who answered before asking how Lux was doing.

Cate smiled when the nurse reported that Lux was doing well. Lux had been in recovery. They had wanted to watch her for forty-eight hours before releasing her just in case there were any problems. The mandatory forty-eight hours were almost up.

Cate would be able to pick her daughter up the next day. Her world was about to change forever. Having a daughter she only saw during visiting hours was completely different from having a daughter she was responsible for twenty-four hours a day. Cate swallowed.

As excited as Cate was to be able to hold her daughter any time she wanted, she was equally fearful. She was only seventeen. She was still a kid. She didn't know how to take care of one full-time. Hell, she hadn't even known she would need a changing table.

What if Cate did something wrong? It was one thing for Cate's mistakes to affect her, but another entirely for the sweet little baby to suffer for one second because of Cate.

What if Cate was a terrible mother? She couldn't help but compare Ellen with her own mother. Cate cringed. What if she took after Laverne? Cate would hate herself if she did to Lux what Laverne had done to Cate and Abby their whole lives. Motherhood was too important to mess up.

Cate went down to the kitchen and approached Laverne. Laverne was sipping a glass of wine and skimming a tabloid magazine at the kitchen table.

"Mom?"

"Hmm?" Laverne barely looked up from her magazine.

"Can I borrow your car?" Cate asked.

"Sure," Laverne replied.

Cate got into the car and drove to the bookstore. She located parenting books and spent a good half-hour reading descriptions. She finally settled on two books about babies and paid at the cash register.

When she got home, Cate sat down in her bed and pored over the books. Before she knew it, it was after midnight. She'd been reading for hours, trying to commit every word to memory.

Cate had always been a perfectionist. She didn't do anything unless she thought she'd be good at it. She doubted her capabilities as a mother, but was determined to do whatever she could to be the best possible mother for Lux. Lux deserved a great mom.

She was going to be a great mom, Cate resolved. She didn't care what it took. She would read every parenting book ever written. She would get rid of her own furniture to make room for Lux. She would work to provide things for Lux. She wanted to be able to give Lux everything.


	20. Adjustments

**Author Note: I was originally planning on ending this when Lux's heart defect was repaired. I don't know much about babies and I don't know how well I can write about a baby. I have a few ideas. Should I continue or end it here?

* * *

**

Cate literally could not wait to pick Lux up from the hospital. She'd dropped Laverne off at work before school so she could use the car. The car had a brand new car seat in the backseat.

Now Cate was counting the minutes until school let out. It felt like the bell would never ring.

Usually studious, Cate could not pay attention today. She kept daydreaming about Lux.

She would finally be able to hold her daughter in her own clothes instead of in the weird plastic thing the nurses always made her wear. And she wouldn't have to feed Lux in order to hold her. She could hold her baby just because. Cate smiled at the thought.

Cate fidgeted with her necklace, unable to sit still in her seat. Alice gave her an odd look from the desk beside Cate's.

Cate avoided Alice's gaze. Even now that Alice and, well, everyone else knew about Lux thanks to Abby, Cate still felt distant. None of her classmates could possibly understand what Cate was going through. Cate wouldn't have been able to understand just a little over a year ago. She didn't have anything in common with any of them anymore. Not that she ever really had. She'd always felt like the odd man out.

Cate squirmed in her seat, glancing up at the clock. It was almost time. Cate hastily shoved her notebook into her book bag although the teacher was still talking.

When the bell finally rang, Cate practically leapt out of her seat. She was already out the door while other students were still packing up.

Cate hurried to the car. She was surprised to find Baze leaning casually against Laverne's car.

"What are you doing?" Cate asked, throwing her book bag in the backseat.

"You're going to get Lux?" Baze asked instead of answering.

"Yeah." Cate smiled.

"Can I come?" Baze asked, though he was already poised to get in the passenger seat.

"Don't you have football practice?" Cate wondered.

"Yeah, but I don't wanna go," Baze said, fastening his seat belt.

"You're the quarterback," Cate pointed out.

Baze shrugged. "I'm Lux's dad. She's coming home today. I should be there."

Cate smirked. She'd never thought those words would come out of Baze's mouth.

Baze blushed slightly.

"What about your car?" Cate asked as she drove toward the hospital.

"My mom'll take me to get it later," Baze replied, unconcerned.

Once again, the difference between Ellen and Laverne struck Cate. Laverne would be drunk later. Ellen was always in mom mode, always there for her son.

Cate vowed to put Lux first. Always. She wanted to be the mom everyone was jealous of, not the mom whose children were embarrassed.

Cate and Baze subconsciously linked hands as they walked toward the nursery. They kept pace with each other naturally and broke into grins at exactly the same time.

Dr. Burke went over discharge instructions with Cate.

Cate listened carefully. She didn't want to miss anything.

Baze tuned out, an old habit he'd developed in grade school.

"Do you have any questions?" Dr. Burke asked.

"No," Cate replied. She looked at Baze.

He noticed her staring and blinked.

"We're almost done. You'll just need to sign Lux's paperwork," Dr. Burke said.

Cate nodded. She carefully picked Lux up, cradling the baby to her chest. Cate could feel Lux's tiny heart beating against her chest. Cate held Lux close as she followed Dr. Burke to the nurse's station.

Cate hesitated, unused to juggling a baby and doing things at the same time.

Baze noticed and signed the paperwork for Cate without glancing down at it.

Baze opened the car door for Cate. Cate gently lowered Lux into the car seat.

Cate fumbled with the buckle, making sure it was tight enough to hold Lux securely.

Cate adjusted the volume on the radio. She didn't want it to be too loud for Lux. She moved the air vent to make sure Lux was getting air in the back seat. Baze smirked from the passenger's seat.

Baze turned in his seat, watching Lux. He sat fascinated with his daughter.

Lux squirmed in her seat, kicking her little legs and moving her little fingers. Baze watched in amazement.

"Are you kicking?" Baze said softly. "You're gonna be a little soccer player."

Cate rolled her eyes.

Baze didn't notice. He only had eyes for Lux.

Lux was a little person. Soon she'd be walking. Talking. It was crazy to watch this little person grown right before his eyes. She was already so much bigger than she'd been the first time he saw her.

When Cate pulled to a stop, Baze looked up, surprised. He'd been fixated on his daughter for the whole ride. He couldn't believe they were already at Cate's house.

"Can I…?" Baze nodded toward Lux.

Cate smiled slightly. "She's your daughter. You don't have to ask permission."

Baze unbuckled Lux and picked her up. He hadn't held her yet. Unlike Cate, he couldn't use breast-feeding as an excuse to hold Lux while she was in the hospital.

Baze was surprised how heavy Lux was. She wasn't heavy, but he'd been expecting the weight of a little doll or stuffed animal, not the full weight of a baby.

He adjusted her, trying to find a comfortable position. Lux's little fingers felt the letters on Baze's jacket. He glanced down. "What's she doing?"

"She can feel the texture of the fabric," Cate explained, smiling.

Cate lunlocked the front door and held it open for Baze. He entered and looked around.

Cate sat down on the couch and patted the seat next to her. Baze obliged, sitting down and placing Lux in his lap.

"This is better than that hospital, huh, Lux?" Baze said, beaming down at his daughter.

"Just a little," Cate chimed in, laughing.

"Now I know it will take some getting used to. You're the only baby. All your friends are back at the hospital. Yeah, you're the only one. And there aren't any wires or beeping machines," Baze said lightly.

Cate smiled.

"Where's Lux's room?" Baze wondered.

Cate blushed slightly. "She's, uh, sleeping in my room."

"Is it upstairs?" Baze asked. He picked Lux up and headed for the stairs.

Cate hesitated. "Yeah." She followed reluctantly. What would Baze think when he saw what Cate could offer Lux compared with the beautiful nursery at his house?

Baze stopped at the top of the stairs.

"It's that one." Cate pointed toward her door. She was glad she'd cleaned up for Lux's homecoming. It would have been embarrassing if Baze had gone in and seen dirty underwear on the floor or something.

Baze carried Lux over to Cate's bed and sat down. He glanced around and nodded in approval.

"It's not as nice as the nursery at your house," Cate said regretfully.

"It's better than the hospital," Baze said reassuringly.

"That's for sure," Cate agreed. She turned to the baby. "What do you think Lux? Do you like your new room?"

Lux giggled and both parents beamed.

"I'll take that as a yes," Cate said, smiling.

"Do you want to join us?" Baze asked, looking at the empty space beside him on Cate's bed. He grinned crookedly.

Cate swallowed. She'd never imagined she'd have the popular quarterback in her bedroom. She sat down beside him, but was careful to leave space between them.

"Would your mom be pissed if she knew I was in your room?" Baze smirked, almost as if he could read Cate's mind.

Cate blushed slightly. "For some reason, she likes you."

Baze grinned boyishly. "So every Cassidy except you likes me?"

Cate rolled her eyes.

Baze laughed. "Come on, admit it. You like me, too."

"I don't hate you," Cate said carefully.

"High praise coming from you," Baze teased.

"Why do you even care if I like you?" Cate demanded. He didn't like her. He'd made that clear when he made fun of her to his friends after Winter Formal.

Baze shrugged. He didn't know why he cared. He just knew he did. What Cate thought of him suddenly seemed very important.

Lux's cries attracted both of their attention.

Baze looked horrified. "What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing's wrong with her," Cate said defensively. "She's probably hungry."

Cate picked Lux up and immediately realized her bottom was wet. "She needs to be changed," Cate announced.

"Look at the time. I gotta go," Baze said quickly.

Cate rolled her eyes. She lay Lux down on the changing table.

She hadn't changed a diaper since Abby was little. Cate didn't remember how much baby powder to use. She decided it would be better to use too much than too little. Cate adjusted the diaper, wanting to make sure it fit Lux perfectly.

The normally undesirable task didn't bother Cate, she realized. Changing dirty diapers certainly wasn't one of the things Cate had been looking forward to about bringing Lux home, but it seemed a small price to pay in order to be with her daughter.

"Is that better?" Cate cooed.

Lux stared up at her mother, big blue eyes wide.

"Now let's get you into pajamas," Cate said. She grabbed freshly laundered pajamas from the top drawer of the dresser, but her eyes never left Lux.

Cate carefully removed the dress Lux had been wearing. She frowned when she saw the bright red scar on Lux's chest.

Cate's touch was soft as she ran her fingers over the scar. She watched Lux for any sign of pain. "Does that hurt, baby?" Lux didn't even flinch. "The doctor made you all better, didn't he? Yeah, you're all better. You're perfect now."

Cate dressed Lux in the pajamas and hugged Lux close.

Lux smelled sweet and the soft, fuzzy pajamas made her extra cuddly. The baby held onto Cate with her tiny hands. Cate smiled, rubbing Lux's back.

This felt so right. Cate could stay like this forever. She never wanted to let go.

Eventually Lux began to feel heavy. Cate glanced at the clock and was surprised to see she'd been holding her daughter for over an hour.

Cate set Lux down in her crib. She handed Lux the plush rabbit and smiled when Lux's little hands closed around the bunny's ear.

Cate watched Lux. It didn't take long for the baby to fall asleep. Lux looked absolutely precious cuddled next to the stuffed animal.

Cate pulled the quilt over Lux.

Cate sat down at her desk to do homework, but couldn't concentrate. She kept jumping up to check on Lux. Every time she checked Lux was sleeping soundly.

Cate had checked on Lux about ten times and completed three math problems when she gave up on doing homework. It was her first night with her daughter. School could wait. The world could wait. Lux was Cate's world now.


	21. Figuring It Out

**Author Note: Thanks for all the reviews! :) I'll continue it for awhile, but I'm having a hard time writing about a baby haha. I really don't know much about them. I don't know when they start crawling, talking, walking, etc.

* * *

**

Lux's wails woke Cate before her alarm went off. She glanced at the clock. _4:55_ am.

Cate went to the crib at the foot of her bed and scooped Lux up. Cate stifled a yawn as she examined her daughter, wondering why Lux was up so early. Was the baby sick? What if something was wrong with her heart? Lux looked OK, but Cate didn't really know what she was looking for.

Lux wasn't wet. Cate sat down in the rocking chair Ellen had bought and tried to feed Lux, but the baby didn't seem to be hungry either. Lux's cries grew louder.

"What's wrong?" Cate murmured. She didn't know what to do.

"Cate, Lux is your responsibility. I can't have her waking the whole house up at this hour. I have to go to work and Abby needs to sleep. She has a test today," Laverne complained from the hallway.

Laverne had waited to see if Cate would tend to Lux before dragging herself out of bed. Lux had been crying for several minutes. Cate must still be asleep, Laverne thought angrily.

Laverne entered Cate's bedroom and was surprised to find Cate's bed empty.

"I know! I just, I don't know what to do," Cate said helplessly.

Laverne turned toward the sound of Cate's voice and saw Cate sitting in the rocking chair with Lux. Her expression softened. At least Cate was trying.

"She won't stop crying!" Cate complained. "I've tried everything. She's not wet. She's not hungry. Do you think something's wrong? Do you think it's her heart?"

Laverne smiled slightly at her daughter's distress. "No, I'm sure she's fine. This is what babies do."

Laverne took Lux from Cate and soothed her. Lux quieted instantly.

Cate made a face. She knew it was stupid, but she felt slightly resentful that she wasn't able to comfort her daughter and her mother was. Did Lux like Laverne better than Cate?

"How'd you do that?" Cate demanded.

Laverne handed Lux back to Cate. "You'll learn."

Cate frowned, not satisfied with Laverne's answer. She wanted a real answer. She wanted to know how to comfort her daughter.

"What are you going to do with Lux while you're at school?" Laverne wondered.

Cate stared at her mother and swallowed. She'd been so worried about getting her room ready for Lux and bringing Lux home that she'd completely forgotten she'd need to find a babysitter or day care.

"I, uh, don't know," Cate admitted sheepishly.

Laverne sighed. She'd tried to warn Cate that she didn't know what she was getting herself into, but Cate hadn't listened. "I have to go to work today. I have an important meeting."

"I didn't ask you to babysit," Cate said defensively. "I'll, uh, stay home from school today and figure something else out for tomorrow."

Laverne frowned. "Cate, I can't afford to pay for college. You have to keep your grades up if you're going to get a scholarship."

"I know!" Cate said. "It's just one day."

"You already missed an entire week when you were pregnant. And several days when Lux was in the hospital," Laverne pointed out.

"Mom, I know!" Cate said angrily.

"OK," Laverne said, giving up. She knew her oldest daughter had a stubborn streak. Arguing with Cate would get her nowhere. "I'll call you in today, but I'm not going to do this every day."

Cate held Lux, rocking back and forth in the rocking chair, for over an hour. Lux didn't cry again, but she didn't fall asleep either.

Cate's eyelids felt heavy, a result of too little sleep. Lux, on the other hand, was bouncing up and down, exuding energy. Cate watched the baby squirm in her lap.

"Where did you get all that energy?" Cate said sleepily. "I'd like to bottle some of it for myself."

Cate's head nodded down. She was so tired she was about to fall asleep sitting upright in the chair with Lux in her lap. She caught herself right away, and jerked her head up.

"I need caffeine," Cate decided. She picked Lux up and headed down to the kitchen.

Laverne was sipping a cup of coffee and skimming the newspaper while Abby ate toast at the kitchen table.

Cate poured a cup of coffee for herself and joined them.

"Hi, Lux," Abby said brightly, smiling at the baby.

Cate frowned.

"Can I hold her?" Abby asked hopefully.

Cate hesitated. She was less than thrilled with her little sister, but she could also use a break from Lux. She knew she'd be on her own the rest of the day. Maybe she should let Abby watch Lux for a few minutes so she could take a quick shower.

"Yeah." Cate handed Lux over. "Be careful!"

"I will," Abby said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you mind watching her for a few minutes so I can take a shower?" Cate asked.

"No," Abby replied, grinning. She was glad Cate was finally acting normal. Cate had been freezing her out since she outed her to the school. Abby glanced down at Lux. "I can hang out with my niece for awhile."

"Thanks," Cate said. She took a shower and threw clothes on, hurrying to get back to Lux.

Lux was sitting in her high chair playing with a rattle. Abby was visiting with the baby.

"I have a test today. I'm a little nervous. I'm not as smart as your mom. No, I'm not." Abby smiled at the baby as she spoke. "It's in Algebra. My worst subject."

Cate smiled slightly. "Thanks for watching her."

Abby looked up, surprised, and blushed slightly, wondering how much Cate had heard. "No problem."

"Good luck on your test," Cate said as Abby grabbed her backpack and headed for the door.

After awhile, Lux began fussing again. Cate picked her up from the high chair and mimicked her mom earlier. She patted Lux gently and spoke softly, just as Laverne had that morning, but Lux's cries didn't subside.

Cate checked to see if Lux was wet, but her diaper still felt clean. She sighed. "Are you hungry?"

Cate sat down in the living room to feed Lux. Lux drank thirstily. "That's what you wanted," Cate said, breathing a sigh of relief. "Everyone has had breakfast but you."

* * *

Baze looked at the clock in the back of the classroom. The bell was about to ring, signaling the start of first period. Cate was in his class, but her seat was empty.

The bell rang. Baze frowned. It wasn't like Cate to be late.

Baze wondered if Lux was OK. What if something had happened? What if her heart wasn't OK after all?

Baze heard a cracking sound and glanced down. He'd accidentally snapped his pencil in half.

"Hey, Alice," Baze called quietly to Cate's friend.

Alice didn't turn around.

"Alice!" Baze hissed a little louder.

Alice turned around, trying to figure out who had been calling her.

Baze gave a half wave.

Alice's eyes widened in surprise. The popular quarterback had never spoken to her before. She recovered and said, "What?"

"Have you talked to Cate?" Baze wondered.

"No," Alice said. She barely talked to her best friend anymore. Cate was always too preoccupied with parenthood to hang out with her.

Baze frowned.

"Alice, do you have something to share with the class?" The teacher asked, annoyed that she was talking during class.

Alice reddened in embarrassment and shook her head.

Teachers never lectured Baze. He was Mr. Popularity, not only with the senior class, but with teachers as well.

Baze hung out by Cate's locker after class. Maybe she was just running late. She wasn't used to getting ready and taking care of Lux, Baze reasoned. She'd probably show up in time for second period.

The bell rang and there was still no sign of Cate. Baze raked a hand through his hair. He decided to cut his next class and go over to Cate's house.

* * *

The doorbell rang.

Cate looked up, surprised. She wasn't expecting anyone. It was probably a solicitor. Cate ignored it and continued playing with Lux.

The doorbell rang again and Cate heard banging on the door. She balanced Lux on her hip and answered the door.

Cate looked annoyed when she opened the door. "What?" She demanded.

Baze entered uninvited. "Is Lux OK?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't she be?" Cate said, returning to the couch.

Baze joined her. "Well, why weren't you in school? Are you sick?"

"No," Cate replied. She glanced down at her daughter. "I need to figure out what I'm gonna do with Lux while I'm in school."

Baze frowned. "What do you mean?"

Cate rolled her eyes. "A babysitter. Day care."

"My mom can take care of her," Baze said without thinking. He didn't have to ask. He knew his mom would help.

Cate thought for a moment. She hated the idea of leaving Lux with people she didn't know. And she really couldn't afford childcare. But she felt bad. Baze's parents had already done so much.

Laverne's words that morning echoed in Cate's head. As aggravated as she was with her mother, she knew Laverne was right. Lux was Cate's responsibility. It wasn't fair to have Baze's parents shoulder all of the responsibility.

"What?" Baze asked. "She took care of me and I turned out fine."

"That's debatable," Cate retorted.

"We can't all be Valedictorian," Baze shot back.

Cate smiled slightly. "I like your parents. I'd love for your mom to watch Lux, but I feel bad. They've already done so much."

"She doesn't mind," Baze said, unconcerned.

Cate narrowed her eyes. "You haven't even asked her."

Baze grabbed the phone and dialed his house. "Hey, Mom."

"Nate, why aren't you in school?" Ellen demanded.

Baze groaned. He'd completely forgotten he was ditching. He was glad his dad wasn't home. "Cate wasn't in school and I was worried about Lux, so I went over to Cate's house."

"Oh. OK. Is Lux OK?" Ellen said.

"Yeah, but there's no one to watch Lux during the school day. Can you watch her?" Baze said.

"Sure. Cate can drop her off," Ellen offered, eager to spend time with her granddaughter. She'd been wondering what Cate planned to do with Lux during the day. She hated the idea of day care. She didn't want someone else raising her granddaughter.

"Thanks," Baze said. He covered the mouthpiece and turned to Cate. "She'll do it. You can drop Lux off."

"I'm going to stay with her today. I'll drop her off tomorrow morning," Cate decided. She didn't know what she'd do without Baze's parents. "Thank your mom for me."

Baze shrugged. It wasn't a big deal to him. He was used to his parents helping him out. He would've been shocked if Ellen had said no.

Baze picked up the remote control and flipped through the TV channels. Cate had a children's program on for Lux, but Lux was sleeping in her arms.

"There's nothing on," Baze whined.

"It's daytime TV. Soap operas and cartoons," Cate said.

Baze stopped at a soap opera.

They watched, making fun of the overdramatic acting and ridiculous story lines.

"How many guys has she been married to?" Baze asked incredulously, when one female character conversed with three different ex-husbands.

Cate smirked. "Probably not as many as my mom."

Baze looked at her curiously.

Cate blushed slightly. "She's currently on the hunt for husband number five."

"Wow," Baze commented. "Do you like your step-dads?"

"Most of them were deadbeats." Cate shrugged. "But none of them were around very long, so it didn't matter."

"How long was her longest marriage?" Baze wondered.

Cate thought for a moment. "Two years." She laughed at Baze's shocked expression. "I guess two kids isn't really selling point."

They both glanced down at Lux. Neither would admit it, but Cate's revelation caused both to consider the difficulty of dating now that they had a baby.

Baze swallowed.

Cate smiled ruefully. "It's not like guys were lining up around the block to go out with me before I had Lux."

Baze looked down, embarrassed that he'd treated Cate so badly after they slept together.

"Are you hungry?" Baze asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Cate looked at the clock. It was lunchtime. "Yeah, but we don't have anything here." _And I couldn't cook if we did_, Cate silently added.

"I'll go get something," Baze offered. "What do you want?"

"Chinese," Cate suggested.

"OK," Baze said agreeably. He jotted down what Cate wanted and left.

Lux woke up and began crying. Cate held her daughter and walked around, her movement calming Lux. "It's OK. Daddy will be right back. He just went to get food."

Lux stopped crying and toyed with Cate's hair.

Cate smiled down at her daughter.

Baze returned with take-out.

"How much do I owe you?" Cate asked.

"Don't worry about it," Baze said easily.

They ate in front of the TV while Lux played in her playpen.

They watched another soap opera, mocking the show mercilessly. Baze glanced at the clock. "Crap."

"What?" Cate asked.

"I gotta go. I'm gonna be late for practice. I missed yesterday. Coach will be pissed if I miss again today," Baze explained, heading for the door.

"I'll bring Lux over to your parents' in the morning?" Cate confirmed.

"Yeah. See you," Baze called over his shoulder as he hurried to his car.

Abby shuffled in as Baze was pulling away. She stared as her crush's car backed out of her driveway.

Baze noticed Abby staring and waved halfheartedly. He didn't really know how to act to her.

The truth was he hadn't even known Abby existed. Then, she'd told the whole school about Lux. If Abby was Cate's little brother instead of little sister, Baze would have punched Abby in the face, but he would never hit a girl.

Baze didn't really want anything to do with Abby, but she was Lux's aunt. If Baze wanted to see his daughter, he would have to see Abby, too. He decided it would be best to be polite. Even if it damn near killed him.

Abby blushed when Baze waved, embarrassed that he'd caught her staring. She forced herself to smile and wave even though she was mortified.

Abby set her backpack on the floor and found Cate in the living room with Lux. "What was Baze doing here?"

Cate looked up. She stopped herself from saying _it's none of your business_ and instead said, "Just hanging out."

Abby raised her eyebrows. "Hanging out with Lux? Or with you?"

Cate sighed. "We all hung out."

Abby frowned.

Cate gave Abby a hard look. "I'm sorry you don't like it, but Baze is Lux's father. He's going to be in my life because of that. Get used to it."

Abby gave Cate a dirty look before stomping up to her bedroom.

"Girls! Can you help me with the groceries?" Laverne called as she pushed open the front door carrying two shopping bags.

Cate balanced Lux on her hip and met her mother at the door, taking the bags from her though it was difficult to juggle two bags and a baby.

"Thanks," Laverne said when she returned with two more shopping bags. "Where's Abby?"

"Pouting in her room," Cate retorted.

Laverne frowned. "Why is she pouting?"

"Baze came over," Cate said simply.

Laverne smiled slightly. "Even though you guys aren't together?" She asked skeptically.

"Mom!" Cate rolled her eyes.

"You've been spending an awful lot of time with him," Laverne commented.

"Yeah, because he's Lux's father," Cate said defensively.

"Speaking of Lux, did you find a day care for tomorrow?" Laverne asked.

"No. Baze-"

"Cate, I'm not calling you in again," Laverne said, her tone sharp.

"I know. Baze's mom is going to watch her," Cate explained, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

Laverne nodded, though she looked less than thrilled at Cate's revelation.

It had been a long day. Cate was glad to have Lux home, but taking care of Lux wore her out. She couldn't take her eyes off Lux for a second. Taking care of a baby was a full-time job.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief when Lux finally fell asleep. She put Lux in her crib and covered her with the quilt.

Cate sat down in her bed with the book she was supposed to be reading for English. She'd only read a few pages when she fell asleep. It was still early, but Cate was completely exhausted.


	22. A Balancing Act

The sound of Lux crying woke Cate up at 5:03 am. Cate sat up in her bed, disoriented, and looked around. She was still wearing the clothes she'd worn yesterday and the book she'd started reading was open in the middle of her bed. She must have fallen asleep reading.

Cate rubbed her eyes sleepily and stifled a yawn. She'd fallen asleep early, but she was still tired. She forced herself to get out of bed and pick Lux up.

Cate fed Lux in the rocking chair, swaying back and forth. She glanced at the clock. She wanted to lie down for just a little while longer, but it was already almost 6:00. She didn't know how long it would take to get herself and Lux ready. As inviting as her bed looked, Cate knew she couldn't get back in bed.

Cate filled the bath tub with warm water. She gently lowered Lux in, watching her daughter for any signs that the water was too hot or too cold.

Cate carefully washed Lux's skin. She paused when she got to Lux's chest, not sure if it would hurt for her to wash Lux where she'd been cut open earlier that week.

The incision still looked irritated. It was bright red. Cate grimaced. It would heal, she knew, but it would leave a scar.

Lux was just a baby. She wasn't supposed to have scars yet. Cate shook her head sadly.

Cate decided to wash it. She wanted to keep it clean so it wouldn't get infected or anything. She didn't want there to be any reason for Lux to return to the hospital. Lux had already spent more than enough time in the hospital.

Cate cautiously washed Lux's chest, taking extra care to be gentle.

Cate patted Lux dry with a soft towel and then dressed her in Cate's favorite baby outfit out of all the clothes she'd bought.

Cate smiled as she carried Lux back to her bedroom. Her daughter looked absolutely darling. She smelled so sweet after the bath.

Now Cate needed to take a shower and get herself ready. She tossed her clothes into the hamper and put a robe on. She started for the door, but stopped when Lux whimpered from the crib.

How was Cate going to take a shower? She couldn't just leave Lux, she realized. Cate glanced at the clock. Crap. She had to leave for the Bazile's in less than an hour. She couldn't go to school looking like this.

Cate scooped Lux up and found Abby doing her make-up in her bedroom.

"Abby?" Cate said tentatively.

Abby looked up, surprised. Cate hadn't sought her out since their fight.

"Would you mind watching Lux for a few minutes so I can take a shower?" Cate asked.

Abby thought for a moment. She was torn. She'd been trying desperately to make things right with her sister, but she was mad about how Cate had acted yesterday afternoon.

Abby knew Baze was Lux's father, but Cate had been so mean about it. Cate knew Abby liked Baze when she slept with him. She definitely knew Abby liked Baze now and she continued to throw it in Abby's face.

Abby scowled. "Why don't you ask Baze to watch her?"

Cate sighed. "Please, Abby?"

"What? He is Lux's father. Get used to it." Abby threw Cate's words from the day before back at her.

Cate gave up on Abby and found Laverne in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee.

Cate hesitated. Laverne hadn't exactly been supportive when it came to Lux. It's not like Cate was asking for anything big, Cate reasoned. She just needed Laverne to watch Lux for a few minutes so she could get ready.

"Mom?"

Laverne looked up and frowned. "Why aren't you dressed? You're not skipping school again, are you?"

"No," Cate replied. "Can you, uh, watch Lux for a few minutes so I can get ready?"

Laverne glanced at the clock. "OK, but hurry up. If you're taking me to work so you can use the car, we need to leave soon."

Cate nodded and handed Lux to her mom.

"Cate! Are you almost ready?" Laverne called from downstairs.

Cate sighed. She'd taken the shortest shower of her life. Her hair was still damp. She hadn't had time to do her make-up. Oh, well. "Yeah. Be right down."

Cate buckled Lux into her car seat. She dropped Laverne off first and then took Lux to the Bazile's.

"Hi," Ellen said when she opened the door. She looked down at Lux. "How's my granddaughter?"

Cate smiled. "Good."

"She looks adorable," Ellen gushed, taking Lux from Cate.

Cate's smile widened. "Do you need anything? The car seat? Diapers?"

Ellen shook her head. "No, I have all of that here. We'll be fine. Won't we, Lux?"

Baze shuffled in. He grinned when he saw Lux. "Hey, Kiddo."

He smiled at Cate. "Hey."

"Hey," Cate said.

"Have a good day!" Ellen called as Cate and Baze traipsed out to their cars to go to school.

* * *

Cate hurried to the Bazile's after school. She didn't want to take advantage of Ellen any longer than necessary.

Ellen opened the door, expertly balancing Lux and the phone. She smiled at Cate and gestured for her to come in.

Cate obliged, taking Lux from Ellen. Lux didn't look any worse for the wear. She smiled up at Cate.

Cate followed Ellen into the kitchen and sat down, waiting patiently for Ellen to wrap up her phone call.

"Sorry about that," Ellen said when she hung up.

Cate smiled. "Thanks again for watching Lux."

"It's no problem. I want to spend time with my granddaughter," Ellen said sincerely.

"I know, but there's a difference between spending time with her and babysitting her every day. I really appreciate it. I don't know what I'd do without your help," Cate said gratefully.

Ellen looked up, surprised. Cate had been nothing but polite to her, but she was still taken aback by how appreciative Cate was.

Ellen wondered what Cate's own parents were like. The girl certainly didn't seem used to people helping her.

Cate shifted uncomfortably under Ellen's gaze. "Well, thanks again. We should get going."

Ellen walked Cate and Lux to the door. She bent down and pressed a kiss to Lux's forehead.

Cate buckled Lux in and drove home, where she had no help at all.

Cate placed Lux in her crib and sat down at her desk to do homework. She was behind in school. She knew Laverne was right. She needed to keep her grades up if she wanted to get a scholarship.

There just wasn't enough time in the day to do everything. She'd already had to quit her job at the boutique. She needed the money, but she couldn't work with Lux at home. Balancing school and a baby was proving to be enough of a challenge without a job in the mix.

Cate alternated between studying and taking care of Lux for the rest of the night.

It seemed like it had been an unusually long period of time since Lux had made a sound. Cate checked on her and was surprised to find Lux sleeping peacefully.

Cate glanced at the clock. Wow. It was already after 9:00. And she still had a ton of homework to do. It was going to be a long night.

Cate worked until midnight and still wasn't caught up. She was so tired she could barely see straight, though. She'd been making dumb spelling errors she would normally never make, a result of her exhaustion.

Cate turned off the light and got into bed. She felt like she would never be able to catch up.

She'd always been a good student. For the first time, Cate wondered if she'd be able to do well. Cate fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but she tossed and turned throughout the night, the stress of balancing schoolwork and a baby getting to her.


	23. Memory Lane

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Cate asked, surprised to see Baze.

"I stopped by to see Lux," Baze replied. He traipsed over to the couch and sat down.

Cate hesitated. "I'm studying."

"Cate Cassidy? Studying? No!" Baze teased.

Cate blushed slightly and returned to her seat on the couch. "I have a test tomorrow," she said defensively.

"Lux and I won't bother you, will we?" Baze said, grinning boyishly.

Cate bit her lip. "Alright. You can stay."

Baze grabbed the TV remote and began clicking through the channels. He found Sunday football.

"Lux, this is football. I play football. Yeah, I'm quarterback. That's, like, the most important position on the team," Baze said proudly to the baby in his lap.

"Cocky much?" Cate said, looking up from her book.

"Hey, I'm just stating the facts. I scored the winning touchdown last night," Baze said. "Where you there?"

"I don't think the crowd would be too happy if I brought a baby to the game," Cate pointed out.

Baze blushed slightly. "Probably not," he mumbled.

"Cate?"

Cate and Baze both looked up. Abby was standing in the doorway.

Cate narrowed her eyes. Abby looked a little too happy. Normally she pouted when Baze was over.

"It's for you," Abby said, holding the phone up.

"Who is it?" Cate asked suspiciously.

"Dewey Johnson," Abby replied.

Cate frowned. "Tell him I'm not here."

"Too late." Abby smirked. She tossed the phone in the direction of the couch.

Baze caught the phone easily and handed it to Cate.

Cate took the call in her bedroom. She had a feeling Dewey was calling to ask her to Winter Formal. She'd been avoiding his calls.

Winter Formal was coming up. Everyone was making plans. Alice heard that Dewey was planning on asking Cate.

Cate didn't want to go. At all. Her expression was pained as she remembered last year's Winter Formal.

Her date ditched her for another girl and she ended up pregnant. Pretty much the worst night ever, Cate thought miserably.

Cate immediately felt guilty for thinking that. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, Lux wouldn't be here. As difficult as the last week had been, Cate couldn't imagine not having Lux.

Cate looked at the offending phone with distaste and sighed. "Hello."

"Hi Cate. It's Dewey."

"Hi Dewey."

"I was just wondering if you, uh, wanted to go to Winter Formal?"

Cate bit her lip. Dewey was a huge dork, but he was really nice. She didn't want to hurt him. "I'd love to, but I can't."

"Oh." Dewey's voice was laced with pain.

"It's just, I don't know if you know this, but I, uh, have a daughter and I don't have anyone to watch her at night," Cate said quickly.

Cate returned to the living room. Abby was still standing there. She smiled triumphantly when she saw Cate's face. "What did he want?" She asked, feigning innocence.

"To ask me to Winter Formal," Cate replied, giving Abby a dirty look.

Baze looked up in surprise. "Are you going with him?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"No," Cate replied.

Baze smiled slightly. He didn't know why, but he didn't want her to go with Dewey Johnson.

"I don't have anyone to watch Lux," Cate said.

Baze frowned. "Is that the only reason you said no?" Did she want to go with Dewey Johnson? How could she possibly want to go with Dewey Johnson? Had she seen Dewey Johnson? The kid wore a wasp costume!

"No. I don't want to go," Cate said simply.

"With him? Or at all?" Baze pressed.

"At all," Cate said definitively.

Baze made a face. "Why?"

Abby snickered. "Because last year her date ditched her for another girl and she got knocked up."

Cate glared at Abby, her face reddening.

Baze looked down. Because of him. At least in part.

"Who are you going with?" Abby asked Baze curiously.

Baze's mouth opened in surprise. Did Abby seriously still think she had a chance with him?

He hadn't even known who Abby was before Lux and now that he did, he wished he didn't. She'd told the entire school about Lux. On top of that, she treated Cate like crap.

"I don't know," he mumbled, struggling to keep his voice even.

Abby smiled as she left the room.

"Abby makes me glad I'm an only child," Baze muttered.

Cate laughed. "Abby makes me wish I was an only child."

"Is she always…" Baze trailed off.

"A brat?" Cate supplied. "We were close, but she's been like this since I had Lux."

"What about your mom?" Baze wondered.

"She's gone a lot. She has a new boyfriend," Cate said.

Baze nodded.

"Jake. That's his name," Cate continued. "Yeah, he's a cage fighter. Classy, I know."

Baze laughed. "How did she meet Jake?"

Cate held up her hands, signaling that she had no idea.

"I've never even seen a cage fighter. I don't think," Baze said lightly.

"He's big and tattooed," Cate said.

Baze's eyes widened.

Cate laughed. "Needless to say, your parents are by far the best grandparents."

Baze raked a hand through his hair. He didn't know what to say. His dad and him didn't always get along, but his family was a cakewalk compared to Cate's. He wondered what it was like growing up with a mom like Laverne and grimaced.

Baze looked up suddenly and cheered.

"What happened?" Cate asked.

"The Seahawks just won." Baze grinned.

Cate's eyes widened. "The game's over? What time is it?" She glanced at the clock and groaned. "It's already nine! I haven't studied. Like at all. You have to go."

"Hey, it's not my fault you haven't studied," Baze protested. "It's Dewey Johnson's."

Cate tried not to smile. "I need to give Lux a bath and put her down and I'm not ready for my test."

"I can give her a bath," Baze offered.

"Really?" Cate said, smiling.

Baze nodded. "Sure."

Baze carried Lux up to the bathroom. He studied the bath tub and frowned. It was too big. Lux would drown in there.

He glanced at the sink. It was too small. "Cate? Cate!" He called.

Cate rolled her eyes when she heard Baze calling her. It hadn't even been five minutes. She set her book down and went upstairs. "Problem?"

"Where do you give Lux a bath?" Baze asked.

Cate stared at him. "Um, the bath tub?"

"It's too big. She could drown," Baze said.

Cate laughed. "Don't fill it up all the way."

She sat down on the toilet. She had a feeling that by the time she made it downstairs Baze would have another question.

Baze peeled Lux's dress off and gasped when he saw the scar on her chest.

"It looks better now. You should have seen it a few days ago," Cate said sadly.

"Does it hurt her?" Baze asked.

Cate shook her head.

She watched as Baze gently lowered Lux into the bath tub and washed her. He was extraordinarily careful, as though he thought she might break. Cate smiled. It was kind of cute.

Baze felt Cate's gaze on him and blushed. "What?"

"Nothing," Cate said, though she was still smiling.

Baze lifted Lux from the bath tub. Cate handed him a towel and he patted the baby dry gently before dressing her. He held her. "She smells sweet," he commented as he took her to her crib.

Cate grabbed the baby monitor and they went back downstairs. Cate walked toward the door and looked at Baze expectantly.

"Are you kicking me out?" Baze asked lightly.

"Lux is asleep and I really need to study," Cate said.

"You're, like, the smartest girl at Westmonte. You'll get an A," Baze said confidently.

"Yes. If I study," Cate said pointedly.

Baze surrendered and said goodbye.

Cate returned to the couch and sighed as she picked up her book. It was going to be a long night. She had to get A's. She just had to.

She cast a glance at the scholarship applications sitting on the coffee table. She'd always planned on getting a scholarship and going to college. Now she was beginning to rethink the plan.

Scholarship opportunities paid for tuition, books and a dorm room on campus. A dorm room Cate would have to share with another freshman girl. Who probably wouldn't be cool with a baby waking her up at the crack of dawn.

Even if Cate figured out the living situation, there were other things to consider. What would Cate do with Lux when she was in class? Right now she had Ellen to help her, but that would change in college. Even the closest campus was a ways away from their suburb.

It all seemed impossible. Cate was beginning to understand why most teen moms didn't graduate.

Usually a highly motivated student who had to get an A, Cate was having a hard time forcing herself to study now. When she was studying because she needed A's to get a scholarship to go to college, there was a payoff. All her hard work would be rewarded.

As Cate confronted the difficulties of going to college with a baby, she wondered if there would be a payoff or if she was wasting her time.

She wondered what Baze was planning on doing. His parents would pay for him to go to school anywhere he wanted, she knew. Would he stay in Oregon to be near Lux? Or would he leave?

Why did the thought of him leaving make Cate feel sick? It's not like he was a big help. He was cute with Lux, but Cate was the one who took care of Lux ninety percent of the time.

Cate told herself she just didn't want Lux to miss out on having a father, though deep down inside she knew it was more than that. She would miss having him around, too.


	24. Fairy Tale

"Cate?" Abby said, standing in the doorway to Cate's bedroom.

Cate sighed. "What?"

"Would you do my hair?" Abby asked hopefully.

Cate frowned. Abby had been being even brattier than usual this week and now she was asking for a favor. Cate shook her head in disbelief. Abby had a lot of nerve.

"I'm busy," Cate said, holding up the textbook she was reading.

Abby's face fell. "Please?" She begged.

Cate looked at her sister. Abby was wearing a dark blue dress and silver heels. Her expression softened slightly.

Cate remembered getting ready for the Winter Formal last year. She cringed as she remembered the hideous dress she'd worn. At the time, Cate thought it was stylish.

Alice and Cate had spent hours getting ready, doing her hair and make-up. When their dates showed up, they'd both felt like princesses. Needless to say, the feeling was short-lived for Cate.

Still, Cate wanted her sister to feel beautiful tonight. Even after how Abby had been acting.

"Sit down." Cate patted her bed.

Abby grinned and obeyed.

Cate retrieved a hairbrush and bobby pins. She carefully styled Abby's hair into an updo. Cate held up a handheld mirror so Abby could see the back.

"Thank you!" Abby's grin widened.

Cate nodded. She hesitated. "Have fun, but don't do anything stupid."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Like get knocked up?"

Cate gave Abby a hard look. "Yeah."

The doorbell rang.

Abby jumped up. "That must be Max." Max was Abby's date.

Abby's jaw dropped when she opened the door.

It wasn't Max. It was Baze.

Baze was standing on the doorstep. He always looked good, but tonight he looked really good. He was wearing a black suit. He cleaned up good. A pretty middle-aged woman stood beside him.

"Hi Abby. Is Cate here?" Baze said.

"Yeah, she's in her bedroom. Are you stopping by to see Lux on your way to the dance or something?" Abby frowned.

"Yeah," Baze mumbled. He started for the stairs, Ellen following.

Abby was on their heels. "I forget. Who are you going with?"

Baze ignored Abby as he approached Cate's room. He smiled when he saw her sitting on her bed reading. He leaned against the doorframe casually.

Cate looked up, surprised. She blushed slightly. She was wearing sweatpants and a tank top and staying in on a Saturday night.

Baze was obviously going to the dance. He was wearing a suit. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be picking up your date for Winter Formal?" Cate asked.

Baze grinned. "I am."

Cate's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Last year we ended up together. This year let's start the night together," Baze said.

Abby was lingering in the hall eavesdropping. She stomped off when she heard this.

Cate stared at Baze open-mouthed. She couldn't believe this was happening. Any girl in school would have cut off her right arm to go to the dance with Baze, but he was here.

"I can't. Lux," Cate reminded him.

Baze moved aside so Cate could see Ellen. "My mom will watch her. She can stay at my house tonight."

"The dance starts in an hour. There's no way I'll be ready in time," Cate said.

"I'll wait," Baze said softly.

Baze picked Lux up and took her downstairs to the living room so Cate could get ready.

"May I come in?" Ellen asked.

"Of course." Cate forced herself to smile, though she was freaking out. She didn't have a dress. She hadn't washed her hair that day.

Ellen glanced around, surprised that all the baby furniture they'd bought was crammed into Cate's bedroom. The house was small. Ellen realized that there must not be enough room for a nursery.

Cate's cheeks burned. "Sorry. It's a mess. I wasn't expecting anyone."

"That's quite all right," Ellen said. She sat down on Cate's bed. "Do you need any help getting ready?"

Ellen helped Cate choose a dress. Fortunately Cate had accumulated a good selection when she was working at Paula's. Cate held up two of her favorites: a cute pink dress and a sexy red dress. Ellen liked the pink dress.

Cate dressed in the bathroom. She admired her reflection in the mirror. She loved this dress.

She applied make-up carefully. She frowned, wishing she had time to take a shower.

Cate scrambled to put her hair up. She secured bobby pins and applied hairspray liberally, wanting it to hold through the night.

"You look beautiful," Ellen said when Cate emerged from the bathroom.

"Thanks." Cate smiled gratefully.

Baze's jaw nearly hit the floor when Cate descended the stairs. She looked absolutely beautiful. He smiled. "You look…there are no words."

Cate's smile widened. "You look pretty good yourself." Cate's tone was light, but she meant what she said. Baze looked sexy as hell. She wondered if she'd be able to refrain from ripping his suit off. She blushed slightly at the thought.

Baze fumbled in his pocket and retrieved a corsage. He put it on Cate's wrist, his fingers brushing lightly against her skin.

Ellen snapped a picture of them together and then a picture of them with Lux.

"Now I have everything Lux will need at home, but does she have a favorite stuffed animal or blanket that I should take?" Ellen asked.

"There's a bunny in her crib," Cate murmured. "I'll go get it."

"I can get it. Don't worry about anything. Have fun!" Ellen said, ushering Baze and Cate toward the door.

Baze opened the passenger door to his sports car for Cate.

"Thanks," Cate said as she slid in, smoothing her dress."

They drove to Westmonte in comfortable silence. Baze opened Cate's door again and helped her from the car.

They entered the gym hand in hand. Cate noticed a few people stare or whisper.

She couldn't blame them. Who would have thought the most popular guy in school would take Cate Cassidy to the dance? Not her. That was for sure.

She frowned, wondering why Baze was doing this. He hadn't acted one bit interested in dating her. He certainly made it clear he didn't want to date her after last year's dance.

Baze was probably only taking her because he felt bad about how things went down last year, Cate knew. He was doing it out of pity.

Things would return to normal after the dance, just as they had after last year's dance. Her prince would turn back into a frog, so to speak.

Cate promised herself she would not sleep with Baze again. She wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. She wasn't going to get her hopes up that he really liked her only to be disappointed in the morning. No matter how good he looked in that suit.

Baze was staring at Cate intently. "What are you thinking?" He asked.

Cate met Baze's gaze. "I'm wondering why you wanted to go with me."

Baze made a face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, did the head cheerleader turn you down?" Cate asked.

Baze frowned. "I didn't ask anyone else, Cate. I wanted to go with you."

"Because why?" Cate demanded. "Because you feel bad about what happened last year?"

Baze looked away. "Of course I feel bad."

Tears stung Cate's eyes. She didn't know why. It was the answer she'd expected. Somehow hearing it still hurt. But she was not going to cry in front of Baze.

Baze could tell Cate was hurting. She might not be crying, but her expression was pained. He swallowed. "I'm sorry. I can't take back what happened. I'm trying to make it up to you."

Cate nodded. She knew he was trying to make it up to her. That's why he took her to the dance. Not because he actually wanted to go with her.

"Cate?" Baze said nervously.

"Thanks. For trying," Cate said shortly.

Baze looked confused. He shifted uncomfortably. "Do you wanna dance?" He mumbled.

"Yeah," Cate said dully.

When a slow song came on, Baze put his arms around Cate and pulled her close. His touch felt so good, so right. But Cate knew her feelings were one-sided. She looked away.

Baze tipped her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Cate replied.

Baze looked unconvinced.

"I'm just tired," Cate lied.

"Yeah," Baze muttered.

He knew her well enough by now to know she was lying. He just didn't know why. After everything they had been through together, what could she possibly have to hide form him?

Baze parked in front of Cate's house. He leaned in to kiss her. His lips barely grazed hers and she pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" Cate asked.

Baze made a face. "I thought that was pretty obvious."

"No, I mean, why are you doing it?" Cate asked.

Baze stared at Cate speechlessly.

"It's one thing to take me to the dance because you're sorry, but you don't kiss people because you feel bad," Cate said angrily.

Baze narrowed his eyes. "That's not what I'm doing." He sounded completely exasperated.

"Kissing me, it doesn't mean anything to you," Cate said, tears in her eyes.

Baze shook his head. "Says who? Says you?"

"Sleeping together obviously didn't mean anything to you. Why would kissing me be any different? At least last year you didn't sleep with me because you felt bad," Cate retorted.

"Last year I didn't know you!" Baze cried out in frustration.

"And now you do?" Cate asked skeptically, her arms crossed in front of her chest protectively.

Baze's expression softened as he looked at Cate. "Yeah, I do. And now…I like you. Even though you make it really difficult sometimes."

Cate smiled slightly. "You do?"

Baze nodded.

"You can kiss me now," Cate said.

"Who says I want to?" Baze teased.

"Baze!" Cate said. "I want you to kiss me now."

Baze grinned. He kissed her softly. This time Cate didn't push him away.

When Baze ended the kiss, Cate sat back in her seat. The intense chemistry she'd felt a year ago was still there. In fact, if anything, it had increased.

"Good night," Baze said softly.

"Yeah, it was," Cate said, smiling. "Thanks."


	25. Trading Places

Cate's heart started pounding when she pulled up to Westmonte. She didn't know what to expect.

The dance had been beyond perfect. But she hadn't seen Baze since then and he hadn't called.

When she'd picked Lux up from the Bazile's on Sunday, Baze was still asleep. She'd felt just the slightest tinge of disappointment.

When she'd dropped Lux off this morning before school, he'd already left. Cate was beginning to wonder if he was avoiding her. Maybe he regretted taking her to the dance and didn't want to see her.

Don't be ridiculous, Cate told herself as she drove to school. Surely he wasn't avoiding her. He couldn't avoid her even if he wanted to. Lux made their lives intertwined forever.

It was just a coincidence that Cate had been to his house two times since the dance and hadn't run into him. Coincidences happen.

Then why was her stomach churning? She felt like she was going to be sick as she entered the building. She couldn't help but remember the Monday after last year's Winter Formal.

She'd been so stupid. How could she have ever believed that the most popular guy in school liked her?

Cate had been so excited when she saw him standing in the hall with all of his friends. She'd wondered what he'd say when he saw her, how he'd introduce her. Would he call her his girlfriend? Would he hug her?

Then she'd heard them talking. She could remember their words as though it was yesterday. And they still made her want to cry.

"**There's a rumor you hooked up with Cate Cassidy?"**

**Cate had stopped in her tracks. She'd been torn between feeling embarrassed that the whole school new she'd had sex and excited that everyone already knew she was with the popular quarterback. She'd listened, eager to hear Baze's response.**

"**Cate Cassidy? You mean, the one that has the head gear like a radio transmitter? Dude, the only way I would ever hook up with her is if she had a bag over her head and tape over her mouth so I didn't have to listen to her!"**

**Baze's voice had been so cold and then they'd all started laughing. At her.**

**Cate had backed away slowly. She felt tears rolling down her hot face and dashed to the bathroom, not wanting anyone to see her crying. Especially not Baze. She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her.**

It didn't matter that everything was different now. The entire school now knew that Baze had slept with her on the night of Winter Formal. They also all knew about Lux. Abby had made sure of that. And it had been a long time since Baze acted like he didn't even know her. They'd been on good terms even before the dance. Friendly.

None of that mattered because Cate had allowed herself to get her hopes up again. She knew if Baze rejected her today, she'd be crushed all over again. It wouldn't be any easier.

Cate took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, before entering her first period class. Baze was already in his usual seat in the back of the room. He grinned when he saw her. "Hey."

Cate smiled slightly, but didn't want to look to excited. "Hey."

Baze didn't say anything else. Cate shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what else to say. She couldn't gauge his mood. She decided to sit in the front with Alice.

Cate tried to act normal even though all of her worst fears were swimming to the surface. Maybe he wasn't pretending he didn't know her this time. That ship had sailed. But he wasn't acting like anything had happened, like anything was different either.

Had going to the dance with him been a mistake? Would things be awkward now? They would have to see each other because of Lux. Cate sighed.

Mrs. Greene cleared her throat to get their attention. "You've all been reading Romeo and Juliet for homework. Today we're going to break into pairs and read the next act."

"Cate, do you want to work together?"

Cate looked up. Dewey Johnson was looking at her hopefully.

"Yeah," Cate replied quickly, grateful he'd asked. She didn't want to put herself out there by asking Baze or waiting for him to ask her if he had no intention of working together.

Dewey grinned crookedly and scooted his desk beside Cate's. Cate was dying to know who Baze was working with, but she didn't dare look. She didn't want him to see her looking. She wasn't going to be the desperate girl chasing after Baze. Not this time.

When Mrs. Greene told them to break into pairs, Baze got up and headed toward the front. Toward Cate. He stopped, frowning, when Dewey Johnson scooted his desk beside hers.

"Baze, I'll be your Juliet."

Baze looked at Jenna, the pretty blonde cheerleader who'd spoken, and nodded. She smiled seductively and patted the desk beside hers.

Baze slipped into the seat. Jenna started reading, but Baze wasn't listening. He was watching Cate and Dewey. They were talking and laughing. They looked so comfortable together. Baze strained his ears to hear their conversation, but the classroom was too loud.

"Baze?" Jenna looked at him expectantly.

"What?" Baze asked, reluctantly turning his attention back to Jenna.

"It's your turn," Jenna pointed out. She looked annoyed.

Baze mumbled Romeo's lines obligingly, but his gaze remained fixed on Cate and Dewey.

As the class got to the part where Romeo kissed Juliet, kids started laughing awkwardly or blushing slightly. A few brazen guys actually kissed their partners.

Baze watched Cate intently. Surely Dewey wouldn't kiss her. The kid didn't have the balls to make a move. And she'd gone to the dance with him, not Dewey, Baze reminded himself.

Would Cate have gone with Dewey if she'd had a babysitter, Baze couldn't help but wonder. He knew they had history together. Probably a better history than he and Cate had together. Baze couldn't imagine a worse history. He hated how he'd treated Cate a year ago.

Baze breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Dewey blush and shut his book. Jenna giggled slightly. Baze could tell by the look on her face she wouldn't mind if he kissed her. He was surprised that the prospect held little appeal.

He'd always been a player. Even when he'd been dating the most beautiful girl in school, he hadn't wanted to commit. He'd wanted to keep his options open and just have fun. Now he didn't want to kiss anyone but Cate.

Baze had never felt like this before. The feeling was foreign and he didn't understand it. Jenna was gorgeous. Any guy in the room would trade places with him, Baze knew. If that was true, why did this feel so wrong? Why the hell did he, Nate Bazile, want to trade places with the dorky school mascot of all people?

"Cate, Baze is staring at you," Alice whispered.

Cate smiled slightly. "Really?" She asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah," Alice replied.

"Who is he working with?" Cate asked, biting her lip.

"Jenna Brown," Alice said quietly.

Cate frowned. Jenna was really pretty and popular. "Did he kiss her?"

"No, but she looks like she wanted him to." Alice smirked.

Cate smiled slightly.

Baze lingered in the hallway, waiting for Cate after class. He fell into step beside her. "I, uh, thought we'd work together," he said tentatively.

Why was he nervous? He didn't get nervous about talking to girls. He'd never gotten nervous about talking to girls! Girls always liked him. It's just how it always happened. So why did Cate Cassidy make him doubt himself?

Cate tried not to smile. She shrugged. "Dewey asked me first."

"He likes you," Baze said, his tone accusatory.

"We're friends," Cate said.

Baze raked a hand through his perfect brown hair. "He _likes_ you. As more than a friend."

"You think?" Cate said.

"Does he know we, uh…" Baze trailed off, unsure what to say.

Cate stopped and turned to face Baze. "We what?" She looked puzzled.

She could tell he was jealous and she was enjoying it. A little too much, she knew. But he deserved it after how he'd acted last year. She was just giving him a taste of his own medicine, Cate reasoned.

Baze stared at Cate, shifting uncomfortably. "We, uh, went to the dance together," he said, looking down.

Cate frowned slightly. She'd wanted him to admit he wanted to be with her. Why was that so damn difficult for him?

"I don't know. I don't think I saw him at the dance," Cate said. "I gotta go to class. See you later."

Cate took off before Baze could see anything else. He sighed as he watched her walk away. She drove him crazy sometimes. She was the only girl who had that effect on him and he didn't know what to do about it. About her.


	26. Unfamiliar Territory

**Thanks for all the reviews! =) I'm really busy right now so I might be slow to update. Here's a longer chapter...

* * *

**

Cate knew Baze was right. Dewey did like her as more than a friend. She shouldn't have used him to make Baze jealous.

Dewey had been nothing but nice to her, but she didn't like him that way. She wasn't being fair to him, she knew.

As someone who'd been on the receiving end, she knew how bad it felt to be used. She needed to make it right. She needed to make it clear that she only wanted to be friends with Dewey.

But the truth was Cate didn't know what to say to Dewey. She'd never been in this situation before. She'd always been the one whose heart got broken. She'd never been the one doing the heartbreaking.

Cate contemplated how to charter the unfamiliar territory. She didn't want to hurt Dewey's feelings. She knew all too well how much it hurt to find out that the person you liked didn't feel the same way.

She would have to see Dewey soon. They were lab partners in AP Chemistry. Cate was dreading having this conversation with Dewey, but she knew she needed to have it.

Cate briefly considered ditching Chemistry, but decided against it. She'd already missed too much school.

She slipped onto the stool next to Dewey and smiled, trying to act friendly and normal. "Hey."

Dewey grinned. "Hey.

Their teacher handed out the instructions for the day's lab.

Cate skimmed the instructions. "We need some ingredients. I'll go get them."

Cate returned to her seat with several tubes of ingredients.

Dewey helped Cate mix the ingredients. They watched for the reaction and took notes. Cate could feel Dewey's gaze on her. She concentrated on her notebook.

Dewey hesitated. "Are you ready for the Trigonometry test on Friday?"

"No," Cate mumbled. Her grades weren't what they used to be. Taking care of Lux cut into her studying time.

"Yeah. Me either," Dewey said. He took a deep breath, getting his nerve up. "Do you, uh, want to study together?" He asked hopefully.

Cate sighed. She met Dewey's gaze reluctantly. "Dewey, I really like you…"

Before Cate could finish her sentence with _as a friend_, Dewey interrupted. "I really like you, too," he said, grinning.

Cate winced. She'd wanted to tell him she didn't feel that way about him. This was going horribly wrong. What was she going to do now? She couldn't stick with her original plan.

Cate decided to try a different tact. "But I wanted to make sure you know I don't have time for a relationship right now."

Dewey's face fell.

"I'm so busy with school and my daughter," Cate said quickly.

Dewey nodded, though he still looked crestfallen.

They both looked up in surprise when the bell rang. They hadn't finished their lab write-up.

"Can you stay and finish?" Dewey mumbled.

Cate shook her head. "I can't. I have to go pick Lux up. We can work on it at my house. In about an hour."

Dewey smiled slightly. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Cate answered the door with Lux in her arms. "Hey. Come in."

Dewey stared at Lux.

"Oh, this is my daughter…Lux," Cate said. She smiled slightly when she said Lux's name.

"Hi Lux," Dewey said. He looked up at Cate. "She's, uh, cute."

"Thanks!" Cate beamed. Lux hadn't met anyone but family. It was nice to hear someone who didn't have to say Lux was cute confirm what Cate and Baze already knew. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"Yeah, can I get a glass of water?" Dewey asked.

"Sure." Cate poured a glass of water for Dewey. He watched as she expertly balanced a baby and a glass.

Cate smiled as she handed Dewey the glass. "We can work in the living room."

Cate set Lux down in her playpen and joined Dewey on the couch. They started working easily. They worked well together, as they were both A students.

* * *

Baze finished football practice and headed to Cate's. He'd been doing homework all day Sunday, so he hadn't gotten a chance to see Lux. He'd only gone one day without seeing his daughter, but he already missed her like crazy.

He also had unfinished business with Cate. They hadn't finished their conversation earlier that day.

Baze had told Cate that he liked her, damn it. She'd asked him to kiss her. It had meant something. Or at least Baze thought it had.

But if it meant something, why the hell was Cate acting like nothing had happened? Worse still, why did she work with Dewey Johnson instead of him?

Baze needed to know that Cate liked him, too. That she wasn't interested in the school mascot.

Baze knocked on the door and waited impatiently.

Cate opened the door. She didn't look happy to see him. "Hey."

"Hey." Baze shifted uncomfortably, waiting for Cate to invite him in, but she never did. "Can I come in?" He finally asked.

Cate hesitated. "This isn't really a good time."

Crap! Never in her life had Cate imagined she'd have this problem.

She'd never been the most popular girl in school. The hideous headgear she'd been forced to wear for the first two years of high school scared away all the boys.

She'd dated Dewey off-and-on again, but she'd never _really_ liked him. Not the way she liked Baze.

Truthfully her Winter Formal date with Frankie Palladino the previous year had been the first time she was really excited about going out with a guy. And that hadn't ended well. At all.

Then she'd been pregnant and hiding out for the better part of nine months.

So how had she ended up here? With two guys who liked her at the same time, Cate thought ruefully. She sighed as she tried to figure out how to keep the guy on her porch from finding the guy in her living room.

Then again maybe she was over-thinking this. Sure, Baze had been jealous that she partnered with Dewey instead of him in English class.

But this was nothing. She'd told Dewey she didn't have time for a relationship. They were finishing their lab assignment. It was completely innocent.

Baze crossed his arms in front of his chest defiantly. "I want to see Lux," he said firmly.

"It's just, I'm working on a Chemistry assignment. With Dewey," Cate admitted.

Baze frowned for just a moment and then his expression was stony, unreadable. "I'll hang out with Lux while you guys do chemistry."

Cate nodded slowly.

Baze sauntered into the living room as though he owned the place.

Lux had started crying while Cate was talking to Baze and Dewey had picked her up. He was holding the baby when Baze and Cate entered the living room.

Baze glared at Dewey furiously. "Can I have my daughter? Now." He said, his tone deadly.

Dewey looked up in surprise. It took him a moment to process what the jock had said. "Yeah," he stammered, holding Lux out.

Baze took Lux from him. "Hey Kiddo. It's OK," he said, though Lux didn't appear upset at all. "Daddy's here now." Baze shot Cate a dirty look.

Cate and Dewey resumed their positions on the couch. Baze sat down on the other side of Cate with Lux in his arms.

Dewey shifted uncomfortably. He could feel the jock's gaze on him. He glanced at his watch. "Uh, I gotta go. Can we finish the lab tomorrow? During study hall?" He asked anxiously.

"Yeah," Cate replied gratefully. The tension between the three of them was palpable. Cate didn't know how long she could take it.

Dewey hastily stuffed his notebook in his backpack and got to his feet.

"I'll walk you out," Cate offered politely.

"He's in all AP classes. I think he can probably find his way," Baze remarked.

"Yeah. I can find my way," Dewey said quickly, not wanting to piss the quarterback off. At least not anymore than he already had. He didn't know what he'd done, but Baze looked as though he wanted to throttle Dewey.

Cate glared at Baze, hands on her hips. "That wasn't very nice."

"I'm sorry, Cate. What am I supposed to do? Stand here and watch you guys on your little study date?" Baze practically spat out.

"It wasn't a date!" Cate protested. "We're lab partners. We didn't finish our lab during class."

"And you had to come here? What's wrong with school?" Baze demanded angrily.

"I had to pick Lux up," Cate said defensively. "Why do you care anyway?" She asked, hoping he would say what she'd wanted to hear earlier that day. That he wanted to be with her.

"You just let some random guy hold our kid?" Baze muttered. He didn't know what was worse. Seeing Cate with Dewey or seeing his daughter in Dewey's arms. He just knew he felt a very strong urge to punch Dewey Johnson in the face when he saw him in Cate's living room. Baze wondered for the second time that day how he could possibly be this jealous of a kid that wore a wasp costume in public.

Cate rolled her eyes. "He's harmless."

"Yeah, well, I don't want him around Lux," Baze muttered.

"If you just came over here to yell at me, you can leave," Cate said angrily.

"I came over here to see my daughter," Baze retorted.

"Fine!" Cate cried out in frustration.

She picked up her math homework and stared at the worksheet. Who was she kidding? She couldn't concentrate. Not with Baze sitting next to her. Not when their legs were touching. Not when she could feel his gaze on her.

But she wouldn't let Baze know he had this effect on her. That she was currently incapable of thinking about anything other that the good-looking quarterback. She pretended to be deeply engrossed in the trigonometry problem.

Baze smirked.

"What?" Cate demanded.

"You've been staring at that problem for five minutes. Seeing as you're the smartest girl in school, I would think you'd be done with the worksheet by now," Baze said, grinning cockily.

Cate glared at him. "I can't concentrate with you…"

"With me what, Cate?" Baze asked, his blue eyes boring into her chocolate eyes.

Cate blushed furiously. "Staring at me," she finished lamely.

"Funny, I can't concentrate with you in the same room as me," Baze muttered. Before he knew it, his mouth was on hers.

He hadn't planned to kiss her. She just made him so mad. And beneath the anger was passion. He couldn't control himself around her. He couldn't keep his hands off her.

Cate didn't want to kiss Baze. She didn't even like him at the moment. He had some nerve acting like she'd done something wrong.

As his tongue explored her mouth, she forgot why she was mad at him. Then she forgot she _was_ mad at him. He tasted so good.

"Mmm," Cate murmured. Damn it! Had she said that aloud? She didn't want Baze to know how badly she wanted him, which at the moment was pretty damn badly. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment.

When Baze ended the kiss, Cate gasped. How had he done that to her? He'd made her forget about everything and everyone. Everyone but him.

"I'm still mad at you," Cate muttered.

Baze smirked. "The feeling's mutual."

"Then why did you kiss me? Do you always go around kissing people you're mad at?" Cate said.

"No, just you," Baze said softly.

"Just me?" Cate smiled slightly.

"Just you," Baze said again, his eyes focused on the pretty brunette sitting next to him.

They stared at each other, both understanding that Baze only wanted her. That they only wanted each other.

Cate wanted him to say he wanted to be with her so badly, but somehow she knew he couldn't. She understood the words were hard for him to say. She still wanted to hear them, but she supposed she could give him a little more time. As long as he didn't take too long.


	27. Bad Timing

Cate smirked when Baze sat down beside her in the front of the classroom. "Are you lost?" She asked.

Baze and the other football players always sat in the back so teachers couldn't see what they were doing. Which was usually not what they were supposed to be doing. Not that any of the teachers would care if they knew Baze wasn't paying attention. His charm didn't only work on cheerleaders. It also got him whatever he wanted from authority figures, which he knew and took advantage of.

Baze was only sitting in the front of English in case they paired off to read Romeo and Juliet again. There's no way Dewey Johnson was working with Cate again. Baze would be the first to ask her this time.

He didn't want Cate to know he was that jealous, though, so he shrugged and tried to act nonchalant. "I wanted to sit by you today."

Cate tried not to smile. She knew exactly what Baze was up to and she was loving every minute of it.

"Did you hear about Jaime's party?" Baze asked, intentionally changing the subject.

Cate frowned slightly. Who was she kidding? She didn't have the upper hand this time around. Sure, Baze might be a little jealous, but he was still the popular quarterback and she was still the bookworm.

She'd never been invited to parties, but she usually heard about them through the grapevine. That all changed when she was pregnant. The few friends she'd had got tired of her never wanting to do anything and even they stopped including her. Alice was the only one that even acted remotely friendly toward Cate anymore.

As a result, Cate hadn't heard about Jaime's party and knew she probably wouldn't have if Baze hadn't brought it up. She would never admit that to Baze, though. Instead she said, "Yeah. Who hasn't?"

"Are you gonna go?" Baze asked.

Cate rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm gonna take Lux to a keg party," she said sarcastically.

"If you, uh, wanted to go, my mom could watch Lux," Baze offered hopefully.

"If you're sure…" Cate said. She knew she shouldn't want to go to the party. Jaime hadn't invited her. She wasn't friends with anyone who would be there. But for some reason she was dying to go.

"I'm sure," Baze said quickly, relieved that Cate had said yes. He'd never been nervous about asking a girl out before. Probably because he'd always known they would say yes in the past. Cate was different. She didn't trip over herself to please Baze like the other girls he'd been interested in.

Baze was sorely disappointed that they didn't read Romeo and Juliet that day. They discussed the metaphors in the play as a class. He should have sat in the back.

He couldn't doodle in his notebook to pass the time because their teacher could see everything he was doing. How did Cate sit in the front every day? Class had only been in session for fifteen minutes and Baze was already bored out of his mind.

He glanced at Cate to see what she was doing. She was staring at her notebook intently, hastily scribbling down every last word their teacher was saying. Her chocolate eyes were focused on the lined pages. She was kind of cute when she was being studious, Baze thought.

Baze looked up in surprise when the bell rang. He'd been watching Cate for forty-five minutes.

* * *

Baze stood on Cate's doorstep. He took a deep breath before knocking.

This was ridiculous. Why was Baze's stomach tied in knots? He'd been over to Cate's house almost every day since Cate brought Lux home.

But usually they just hung out. Tonight he was taking her to Jaime's party. Everything would be different.

Baze's breath caught in his chest when Cate opened the door. She looked unbelievably hot. She was wearing a red dress that left little to the imagination. He stared at her, appreciating every curve.

Cate shifted uncomfortably under Baze's gaze. She wondered if she looked all right. She hadn't been to a party in well over a year. She didn't know what everyone would be wearing. She hoped the dress wasn't too much. Maybe everyone would be wearing jeans.

"It's kinda cool. Maybe I should change," Cate said, fidgeting nervously with her necklace.

"You don't need to change," Baze said quickly. He shrugged out of his leather jacket and draped it over Cate's shoulders.

Cate smiled as Baze helped her into his jacket. It felt warm from his skin and smelled like Baze. Masculine and strong. She never wanted to take it off.

Baze opened the passenger door for Cate and she slid into his car.

When Baze got in, he adjusted the heat, making sure the vents were pointed at Cate. "Are you getting enough heat?" He asked.

"Yeah." Cate smiled.

Jaime's was already crowded when they arrived. Baze seemed to know everyone. As they made their way into the living room, several people stopped Baze to say hi.

Cate didn't see any friendly faces. She stood beside Baze awkwardly while he started talking about how crazy Jaime's last party had been with a group of kids. No one acknowledged Cate and she couldn't exactly join in the conversation because she hadn't been at the party in question.

Cate shifted uncomfortably beside Baze. She didn't know what to do. She felt so awkward just standing there. She slipped away.

"Is this the line for the keg?" A football player asked Cate as she weaved through the crowd.

Cate stared at him. He looked familiar, but she didn't know his name. She thought he was a year younger than her.

She didn't know many of the kids who weren't in her class. Not unless they were in the Honors Society or on Student Council, which eliminated most of the jocks.

She may not know him, but at least he was speaking to her. That was an improvement. Cate nodded and joined him in line.

Before Cate knew it, she was at the front of the line and someone was handing her a red plastic cup filled with cheap beer. She wasn't much of a drinker. One of the only other times she drank was the night she got pregnant. It had only taken two Zimas to get her tipsy that night.

Tipsy was an understatement. She'd been drunk. Drunk enough to sleep with a guy she barely knew.

Cate knew deep down that the alcohol was an excuse. And a lame one at that. She would have slept with Baze that night even if she'd been completely sober. It wasn't just the alcohol that made it so Cate couldn't think straight. It was Baze. He did something to her.

Cate looked for Baze and saw that he was still surrounded by people. He was laughing. It looked like he was having fun. Like he didn't miss her.

Cate sighed. What had she been thinking? That she'd show up with Baze and be instantly popular? Yeah, right. It would take more than a date with the popular quarterback to repair her reputation, Cate knew.

Cate sipped her beer absent-mindedly. She glanced around. Maybe Alice would be there by now. Then Cate wouldn't be stuck standing there alone.

Cate saw three popular cheerleaders dancing provocatively. She recognized one of them, Meghan, as the head cheerleader Baze had dated for a few months. Cate couldn't help but compare herself to the pretty blonde. Not only was Meghan gorgeous, but she was popular as well.

What did Baze see in Cate after being with someone like that? It was like going from an ice cream sundae to a scoop of plain vanilla.

"You want another?"

Cate looked up in surprise. Jaime was gesturing toward her empty cup. She hadn't even realized she drank the whole thing. "Yeah," she said.

"Thanks," Cate said when Jaime handed her a full cup.

Baze glanced around, looking for Cate. He didn't know what had happened. One minute she'd been standing beside him, their hands linked, and the next she was gone.

Every time Baze tried to go find her, someone else came over to say hi. He didn't want to be rude, but he really just wanted to find Cate.

He hadn't heard a word his friends had said. His mind was on the girl he'd come with. The only one he wanted to leave with.

He frowned as he scanned the room. Where had she gone? Damn it. Jaime's house was so crowded. He couldn't pick anyone out of the crowd.

"Hey, man, have you seen Cate?" Baze asked Steve, a football player, passing by.

"Cate?" Steve made a face. "Cate who?"

Baze sighed. "Never mind."

None of his friends even knew who Cate was. And if they did, they thought she was a nobody. Just like he had a year ago.

How did he go two and a half years without noticing her? She was beautiful. Inside and out. Which was more than he could say for most of his so-called friends.

He remembered Cate freshman year with headgear and a padded bra. He'd written her off the second he saw her.

Now the headgear was gone. In its place was a beautiful smile. A smile he'd do just about anything to see.

Somehow Baze knew Cate wouldn't be smiling wherever she was. Bringing her here was a stupid idea. This wasn't her scene. He should've taken her somewhere she liked.

"Dude, your date is wasted!" Jaime said.

Baze frowned. "Cate?"

Jaime shrugged. "Hot girl in a red dress?"

"Where is she?" Baze asked urgently.

"By the keg," Jaime replied.

Baze made his way through the crowd with purpose. He had to get to Cate. To make sure she was all right.

Cate knew she was a little drunk. She didn't think she was that drunk, but she kept dropping her purse on the floor. She just couldn't seem to hold onto it.

She would stop drinking now. She would have to find some other way to occupy herself until Baze was done holding court with his fan club.

"Hey! I know you!" A young looking kid said, pointing at Cate.

Cate stared at him. He didn't look the least bit familiar. Ironically everyone at Jaime's party went to school with her and a lot of them looked unfamiliar.

"You're the senior that got knocked up!" The kid continued.

"Should you be drinking if you're pregnant?" A JV cheerleader asked.

Cate's cheeks burned. She wanted to die of embarrassment. She grabbed a half-full cup from the counter and chugged it.

Baze heard the exchange from across the room. His hands balled into fists at his sides. He recognized the kid as a freshman football player.

Baze pushed his way to Cate. He glared at the freshman. "Get lost," he said, his tone dangerous.

The kid didn't need to be told twice. He knew better than to mess with the starting quarterback.

Baze turned to Cate. She swayed slightly, grabbing the kitchen counter. He put his arm around and led her to the front door.

"Where are we going?" Cate asked, slurring slightly.

"Out," Baze replied.

"We're leaving? I was having fun at the party," Cate said. She couldn't even say it without laughing. It was the opposite of the truth. She'd felt out of place the whole night. She couldn't wait to leave.

"I wasn't," Baze muttered.

Baze guided Cate to his car and helped her into the passenger seat.

Baze drove Cate home. He pulled to a stop in front of her house. She struggled to unbuckle her seatbelt, her coordination shot because of the alcohol.

Baze leaned over and unbuckled her, his hands grazing her hips. His touch felt so good.

Without thinking, Cate kissed Baze hard. She'd never made the first move before in her life. She knew the alcohol was making her uncharacteristically bold.

Baze was surprised when he felt Cate's tongue in his mouth. Her fingers ran through his hair and tore at his shirt. She was so hot. And this take charge thing she had going on was really turning him on. Baze groaned when Cate began fumbling to unbutton his jeans.

"Do you have a condom?" Cate asked. She giggled. "Preferably one that hasn't been in your wallet for two years."

Baze swallowed hard. He stared at Cate.

He struggled to think clearly when all he wanted was to be inside Cate. Damn it. He knew that no matter how badly he wanted her, this wasn't the time.

Their first time had been in the back of his mom's minivan when Cate was drunk. With a condom that had been in his wallet for two years, as Cate had just reminded him. He hadn't felt for her then what he felt for her now.

Baze knew he wanted it to be different the next time he took Cate to bed. For starters, he didn't want her to be drunk. No, she would want to be with him without the influence of alcohol next time.

"No," Baze mumbled, shaking his head.

Cate frowned slightly. "We can be careful."

"No. Not tonight," Baze said.

Cate made a face. She might be drunk, but she wasn't completely out of it. She still knew rejection when she heard it.

What guy turned down sex? Not Baze, Cate knew. At least not in the past. He had a reputation as a player for a reason. He must really not want her.

Cate's expression hardened. She threw open the car door and stalked away.

Baze swore as he hurried after her. He put his arm around Cate to steady her.

Cate shrugged away.

"Let me help you," Baze said.

Cate shook her head. "No. Leave me alone."

"You don't mean that," Baze said, his voice laced with hurt.

"Tell me something. Do you have a moral problem with taking advantage of drunk girls? Or is it just me?" Cate said loudly.

"I'm trying to do the right thing here," Baze mumbled.

"For once," Cate shot back.

Baze's expression was pained. He'd been trying to do the right thing for the better part of a year where Cate was concerned. He thought she'd noticed, but maybe she still thought of him as the jerk who'd knocked her up and denied sleeping with her.

At the moment doing the right thing was damn near killing him. He wanted Cate so badly it hurt.

Baze walked Cate in despite her protests. He helped her up the stairs to her bedroom. "Do you, uh, need help getting undressed?" Baze asked.

"No. And you obviously don't want to see me undressed," Cate muttered angrily.

Baze sighed. Cate couldn't be further from the truth. He went downstairs and got a glass of water and two aspirin for Cate.

When Baze returned to Cate's bedroom, she was lying on her bed, still wearing the red dress and heels. Baze laughed. He took her shoes off for her. Somehow he knew he didn't have enough self-control to remove her dress and not let things go any further. He set the glass of water and aspirin on Cate's bedside table and left.


	28. Open Book

Cate winced. The moment she opened her eyes, she felt a searing pain in her head. She tried to sit up and instantly knew she was going to be sick.

Cate dashed to the bathroom. She made it just in time. She emptied the contents of her stomach-beer-into the toilet.

She hadn't felt this awful in a long time. The nausea reminded her of morning sickness from when she was pregnant. But the hangover didn't end there.

Cate had never had a headache quite this bad. She also felt slightly dizzy.

She needed to go pick Lux up from the Bazile's, but somehow she knew she would be sick again if she moved. What kind of a mom couldn't take care of her daughter because she was hungover? Her own mom, Cate thought bitterly.

Cate had acted more like Laverne than she cared to admit. She had too much to drink, she'd thrown herself at Baze and now she was too hungover to pick Lux up. She hated herself for following in Laverne's footsteps.

Lux deserved better. Cate wanted to give Lux better.

Cate changed out of the dress she'd slept in and crawled back into bed. She smiled slightly when she saw the glass of water and aspirin Baze had left on her nightstand. She swallowed the pills.

She remembered perfectly how awful the party had been. Baze had been Mr. Popularity while she was a nobody. She hadn't been friends with anyone at Jaime's and hadn't even known the majority of the people there.

Cate didn't really remember how much she drank. She knew it was a lot. The details of what had happened in Baze's car were fuzzy, but she knew she'd thrown herself at him only to have him turn her down. Her cheeks burned. She had to be the only girl Baze had turned down in his entire life.

Cate grimaced. How embarrassing. How was she ever going to face Baze? She buried her head in her pillow, wanting nothing more than to wake up and realize it had all been a bad nightmare.

Cate fell back asleep easily. The soft pillow felt good against her throbbing head. She woke up to the sound of Lux crying. She sat up in her bed, confusion furrowing her brow. Lux was at Baze's. She hadn't felt well enough to pick Lux up.

"Hey," Baze said. He nodded toward the crib. "I brought Lux home. And I brought you breakfast." He held up a bag from McDonalds.

Cate wrinkled her nose. Food sounded awful. "Thanks. That was…nice."

"Eat." Baze smirked. "You need something to soak up the alcohol."

Cate hesitated.

"Trust me. You'll feel better if you eat. The greasier the better."

Cate nodded and took the bag. She popped a hash brown into her mouth. She ate slowly, afraid of getting sick again, but Baze was right. The food was making her feel better.

"I'm a lightweight," Cate said with a laugh. She looked down. "I don't remember what happened after the party. I'm sorry if I was, uh, a mess."

Cate knew she'd been a mess. In fact, a mess was probably an understatement.

Baze studied Cate. She avoided his gaze. He knew she was lying. She remembered exactly what had happened. He knew her well enough by now that he could read her like an open book. "You don't remember anything?"

"No," Cate lied.

Baze raked a hand through his hair. "Dang. And I thought I was pretty unforgettable."

Cate looked up in surprise. What was Baze saying? She knew they hadn't had sex. He hadn't wanted to. He hadn't wanted her.

"You're on the pill, right?" Baze asked, hoping to get a reaction.

Cate threw her pillow at Baze. "We didn't do anything," she said knowingly, shooting him a dirty look.

Baze smirked. "You remember?"

Damn it. He'd tricked her. Cate blushed. "Yeah! I remember. OK? If you don't want to be with me, that's fine."

"I didn't say I didn't want to be with you," Baze said, his blue eyes boring into her chocolate eyes.

"Yeah, you did," Cate said, crossing her arms in front of her chest protectively.

"No," Baze said firmly, his tone dangerous. "I said I didn't want to be with you _last night_."

Cate narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Not like that," Baze said, exasperated. "Not when you were wasted."

"That's never stopped you before," Cate muttered.

"No, it hasn't. Because I've never cared if whatever girl I was with woke up with regrets. But you're not just any girl! I care about you, Cate," Baze said. "For the smartest girl at Westmonte, you can be really dense sometimes!"

Cate's expression softened. "I care about you, too. And I wouldn't have woken up with regrets."

"No. Just a hangover," Baze muttered.

"My head feels better. Thanks for taking care of me. It's my pride that's a little wounded," Cate said softly.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one," Baze muttered.

Cate stared at Baze blankly. She'd pretty much offered herself to him on a silver platter. How could his pride possibly be wounded?

"I've changed since last year, Cate," Baze said angrily.

Cate nodded slowly. "I know."

"Do you?" Baze asked, frowning.

"Yeah. You've been great with Lux," Cate said. She put her hand on Baze's reassuringly, but he pulled his hand away.

"Just with Lux?" Baze demanded.

"No, not just with Lux. With me, too," Cate admitted.

"I told you I was trying to do the right thing and you said _for once_," Baze said, his voice laced with hurt. "I've been trying to do the right thing! Can't you see that? I'm not the same guy I was a year ago!"

Cate sighed. "I was drunk. I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, well, people are usually honest when they're drunk," Baze shot back.

"I was hurt. You rejected me. I didn't mean it, Baze," Cate said, meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry."

Baze smiled slightly. "I rejected drunk you. I kind of like sober you."

Cate raised her eyebrows. "Kind of?"

Baze grinned. He pecked Cate on the cheek. "See you tomorrow."

Cate waited until Baze was gone. She picked Lux up. Her daughter looked up at her with Baze's blue eyes.

"Your dad is a pretty good guy. Because of you. You changed him. Yes, you did," Cate cooed, smiling at her daughter.

Cate knew she would never have had a second chance with Baze if it weren't for Lux. Lux had changed everything.

A year ago Baze hadn't been boyfriend material. He definitely hadn't been capable of being a father.

Now he was so sweet with Lux. Cate loved watching him with her. The way he looked at their daughter, Cate knew how much he loved Lux.

"Now I need to change," Cate murmured. "I need to be a better mom. I'm not going to be my mom."

Cate pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead before setting her back in the basinet.


	29. We're in This Together

Baze waited impatiently on Cate's doorstep. He wanted to see his girls. Lux and Cate.

Abby opened the door. She frowned slightly when she saw Baze.

She'd given up on ever having a chance with the popular quarterback. She probably should have given up long ago, Abby knew, but when he'd shown up the night of Winter Formal she'd known with absolute certainty that he had feelings for her older sister.

Before that night, Abby had told herself that Baze didn't really like Cate. He'd denied sleeping with Cate after all. Who denies sleeping with the love of their life?

Abby had wanted to believe Baze was only involved with Cate because of Lux. She knew better now.

"Is Cate here?" Baze asked, peering past Abby into the living room.

The quarterback didn't even see her, Abby knew. Baze looked right through her. He only had eyes for Cate.

"In her bedroom," Abby replied shortly.

Baze pushed past Abby. He heard raised voices coming from Cate's room as he climbed the stairs. He paused at the top of the stairs, unsure if he should walk in on whatever was going on.

"Why is Oregon State sending you a letter telling you they're missing pieces of your application?" Laverne asked.

"Why are you opening my mail? It's a crime to open other people's mail," Cate said angrily, avoiding the question.

"Don't change the subject. Cate, most of your college applications are due this week! I can't believe you haven't done anything!" Laverne yelled.

"I've done things! I just haven't done absolutely everything," Cate said defensively.

"What exactly have you done?" Laverne demanded.

Cate sighed. "I've filled out the applications. I haven't had time to write the essays, though." Truthfully she'd filled out most of the applications, not all of them, but Laverne didn't need to know that.

"This is important. You need to make time," Laverne said sternly.

"I've been a little busy," Cate said pointedly, glancing meaningfully at the crib where Lux was napping.

"I tried to warn you that it wouldn't be easy to take care of a child and go to school. You told me you could do it," Laverne said sadly.

Cate glared at her mother with tears in her eyes. "I was wrong. You were right! Are you happy now?

"No, I'm not happy," Laverne said, exasperated. "What part of this is supposed to make me happy? That you got pregnant while you were in high school? That you're throwing your entire future away?"

"I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment," Cate muttered. "Look, I will take care of everything. I have a week. I will finish filling out my college applications. I will finish applying for scholarships."

"Wait a minute. You haven't finished your scholarship applications either?" Laverne cried out.

Cate rolled her eyes. "I told you, I'll take care of it, OK?"

Laverne rubbed her temples as though dealing with Cate was giving her a headache.

"Are you gonna stand here and watch me write the essays?" Cate asked dryly.

"No," Laverne said.

Baze shifted uncomfortably in the hallway. He knew Laverne was about to catch him eavesdropping.

He knocked on the door quickly, before Laverne found him standing there.

Laverne's expression softened when she saw Baze. "Hi Baze. It's nice to see you."

Laverne left Baze and Cate alone.

"She doesn't care if you're alone in your bedroom with the guy who knocked you up?" Baze smirked.

"She likes you. Probably better than me at the moment," Cate muttered. She blushed slightly and looked down. "Did you hear?"

"It was kinda hard not to," Baze said lightly. "And I thought I was the frontrunner in the race for biggest disappointment to parents this year."

"Sorry. I think I just pulled ahead," Cate said, smiling slightly. "What do I win?"

Baze sat down beside Cate on her bed and kissed her gently. He deepened the kiss. He felt Cate's fingers in his hair, which was still damp from the shower he'd taken after football practice.

"What your mom said, she was wrong. You can do it. You can do anything you put your mind to," Baze said.

Cate smiled slightly, but Baze could tell she didn't think she could.

"I'll help you. Whatever you need, I'm here," Baze said.

Cate laughed. "You want to write my college essays for me?"

"Considering you have an A in English and I have a C, I don't think that's the best idea," Baze replied. "But I can hang out with Lux while you write them."

Cate smiled. "Thank you, Baze."

Cate leaned it to kiss Baze. Her tongue pushed past his lips and he pulled away abruptly.

"No. You need to write your essays," Baze said. He couldn't distract her. He wanted to be good for her.

Cate punched his shoulder lightly. "Tease."

Baze grinned boyishly.

Cate picked up the college application and skimmed the essay topics.

"How would you describe yourself as a human being?" Cate's tone made it perfectly clear how ridiculous she thought the question was.

Baze grinned.

"Have you written any of these?" Cate asked.

"Nah, 'cause I'm playing football. I don't have to jump through as many hoops," Baze explained.

"Have you decided where you're going?" Cate asked, trying to sound nonchalant though the question had been driving her crazy for months.

Baze shrugged. "A couple of schools want me to play football. I haven't said yes to any of them yet. I'm keeping my options open."

Cate nodded, trying to hide her disappointment. She needed to know where Baze was going to be next year. For Lux. And for herself.

"So how would you describe yourself as a human being?" Baze asked lightly, trying to get Cate back to the task at hand.

"I don't know," Cate mumbled. "How do you answer that?"

"Smart. Ambitious. A perfectionist. Type-A," Baze began throwing out suggestions.

Cate made a face. "You're making me sound like a pain in the ass."

"You are." Baze grinned boyishly. "But you're also fiercely independent, funny, sweet…when you want to be and a great mom."

Cate smiled, blushing slightly at the compliments. "Really?"

"Really," Baze assured her.

Cate smiled as she started working on the essay.

Baze shuffled through the stack of applications. He frowned slightly when he saw that a half-filled out scholarship application was due the next day. He found one that was completely filled out and began copying the information down onto the half-filled out one.

Cate looked up from her notebook. She glanced over Baze's shoulder and saw what he was doing. She smiled as he copied her social security number into the appropriate space.

They worked in companionable silence. Time passed quickly. Before Cate knew it, it had been several hours and the stack of unfinished college applications was down to one.

When Cate finished all of the applications, Baze rewarded her with a kiss. Cate tore at his shirt desperately. He lifted her top.

Lux cried. Both of her parents froze. They'd completely forgotten she was in the room.

They pulled away from each other reluctantly. Cate adjusted her top before she scooped Lux up.

Lux stopped crying as soon as she was in Cate's arms.

"I'm sorry, baby. You probably got more than you bargained for," Cate said with a laugh. She cradled her daughter in her arms.

Baze grinned sheepishly. "I hope we didn't scar her for life."

Cate smiled slightly, her gaze fixed on the sweet baby in her arms. "I don't think she'll remember. What's your earliest memory?"

Baze thought for a moment. "Playing football with my dad. I was only two when he got me my first football." Baze laughed. "What about you?"

"I remember when Mom had Abby. I was so excited to have a little sister," Cate replied ruefully.

"Yeah, well, you didn't actually know Abby at the time," Baze remarked.

Cate laughed.

"I guess I should go," Baze said. He grabbed the stack of completed applications. "I'll mail these for you."

"You don't have to do that," Cate said quickly.

"It's on my way," Baze said firmly. He kissed Cate gently and pecked Lux on the cheek before leaving.

Baze drove to Kinko's. He separated the stack into two piles in his car. One consisted of the applications that were due that week. He took them in and paid to overnight them. He dropped the others into a mailbox on his way home.

He wasn't going to be responsible for ruining Cate's life. He knew Lux was the reason Cate hadn't had time to finish her applications and felt partially to blame. Lux was their responsibility, not just Cate's, even though Cate had shouldered most of the responsibility.

Baze meant what he'd said to Cate. He would do whatever it took to help Cate. He would split time with Lux more evenly and be there to support Cate.


	30. Made for Each Other

**Note: First of all, thanks for all the reviews! =)**

**As a warning, Baze and Cate are finally going to have their second time together. The scene is somewhat detailed. I don't know if this story is rated appropriately, but if you're not comfortable reading about that, skip this chapter. **

**Now to answer a few questions people have asked:**

**Everyone at school knows that there is something going on between Cate and Baze. They went to winter formal together.**

**They're not officially together. I did that on purpose. They both have commitment issues and I don't envision either of them feeling comfortable having the talk and deciding what they are early on. I've seen a lot of people hang out/casually date before actually becoming an official couple. That's where Cate and Baze are right now. Eventually they'll make it official.

* * *

**

Lux woke Cate up bright and early as usual. Usually Cate sat down in the rocking chair half-asleep with Lux and took her time waking up before getting ready for school. This morning was different.

Cate had wanted to get up early anyway. She sprung into action as soon as she heard her daughter. She held Lux, patting her back gently, as she searched through her wardrobe.

Cate wanted to look nice today. She discarded several possibilities before settling on a black dress.

Most of Cate's underwear was basic cotton. She had stopped by the mall after Baze left the other night to buy something different. Something special.

She slipped into the black lace bra and panties. She admired her reflection in the mirror. She knew she looked sexy. She just hoped Baze would think so, too.

She slipped the dress over her head. She took the time to tease her hair and apply make-up.

"What do you think, Lux? Does Mommy look pretty?" Cate asked her daughter. Cate smiled at the baby. "Not as pretty as you, though. No. You're the prettiest girl."

Cate changed Lux from her pink fuzzy pajamas into a sweet little dress. Cate truly believed her daughter was the most beautiful thing in the world. She smiled as the baby looked up at her with her daddy's ocean blue eyes.

Cate was already ready to go when Laverne was just getting up. Cate passed her mom in the hallway on her way out.

"You look nice," Laverne said.

"Thanks!" Cate replied.

Cate bundled Lux into her car seat and drove to the grocery store. Cate hadn't taken Lux shopping yet. She struggled slightly setting the little seat up in the grocery cart before carefully placing Lux in the cart.

Since Cate wasn't much of a cook, she'd rarely gone grocery shopping. She glanced around, reading the signs in the aisles until she found what she was looking for.

"I'm gonna surprise Daddy," Cate told Lux, as she grabbed items and put them in the cart.

Cate felt very much like a mother as she made her way through the grocery store with her daughter in tow. She'd never really wanted to grocery shop with a kid. She was only seventeen after all. But it felt kind of good in a weird way.

Cate put Lux back in her car seat. She carefully arranged the food she'd chosen in the picnic basket she'd stuck in the trunk earlier.

She put the basket back in the trunk so Baze wouldn't see it until she was ready for him to see her surprise.

* * *

Baze slipped into his now-usual seat beside Cate in the front. "Hey." He grinned when he saw her. She always made him smile.

"Hey." Cate smiled, blushing slightly under his gaze. He was looking at her like he wanted to take her right there in the classroom.

She knew he probably did want to take her right then and there. They hadn't had five minutes alone because of Lux.

Cate loved her daughter, but she also loved Lux's father. She wanted to be with him.

It seemed like every time they tried to be together, something happened. It was beginning to feel like they would never be alone together. That was why she'd decided to surprise him today. That and he deserved it, Cate knew.

Baze had been so great lately. He'd helped her with her college applications and he'd never complained once. He'd gone above and beyond when it came to helping out with Lux, especially the past week.

And, to Cate's surprise, he'd been incredibly patient. Most guys would get frustrated with the constant interruptions, Cate knew. Baze hadn't acted the least bit upset.

"Did you find out if you got those scholarships?" Baze asked.

"They weren't due until last week. I probably won't find out for awhile," Cate replied.

"You'll get them," Baze said confidently.

Cate smiled.

Baze tried to pay attention to English, but he couldn't keep his eyes on the board when Cate was sitting next to him.

She looked so good. And she smelled even better. Her scent filled his nostrils. What was it?

She smelled like some kind of fruit. Citrus, Baze thought.

"Baze." Cate smirked. She waved a hand in front of Baze's face.

Baze blinked and looked around. The classroom was empty. Cate and he were the only two left.

"The bell rang, like, five minutes ago," Cate told him. "You've been staring into space."

Actually he'd been staring at her. Thinking about her, but she didn't know that. He shoved his notebook into his backpack and followed Cate into the hallway.

He didn't want to leave her. He didn't know how he'd get through his next class without Cate there to distract him.

"Do you wanna go out to lunch today?" Cate asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Baze raised his eyebrows. "Out? As in off campus?"

"Yeah," Cate replied.

"I didn't have you pegged as a rule breaker," Baze said lightly. "I think I've been a bad influence on you."

Cate smiled. "You've corrupted me." She grabbed Baze's shirt and pulled him to her, kissing him softly.

Baze stared as Cate walked the opposite direction. She never stopped surprising him. Exciting him.

The day dragged on. Second period felt like it took forever. Baze didn't know if he could make it until lunch. He was hungry, but food wasn't the only thing he wanted.

He wondered where he should take Cate for lunch. It would be their first real date. They'd been hanging out, but he hadn't actually taken her out anywhere.

Cate smiled when she saw Baze leaning against her locker casually.

He draped his arm around her shoulders and they headed toward the parking lot. He turned toward his car.

Cate shook her head. "I asked you to lunch. I'm driving."

"I'm the guy. I'm supposed to drive," Baze protested.

Cate rolled her eyes. "No. Sorry. I'm driving."

"You're bossy," Baze said, but he gave in and followed her to her car.

Baze frowned when Cate pulled up to her house. "Cate, I can take you out."

"I have a better idea," Cate said.

Baze's brow wrinkled in confusion. He knew Cate couldn't cook. At least not well.

Baze watched as Cate pulled a picnic basket out of the trunk. He grinned. He had some reservations about eating anything she'd made, but it was cute that she'd tried to put lunch together.

Baze took the basket from Cate and carried it. Cate unlocked the front door and held it for him.

Cate instructed Baze to set the picnic basket down on the kitchen table. He opened it curiously. There were two pre-made sandwiches from the Deli, several different kinds of cheeses and crackers. He was relieved to see that none of it was homemade.

"The best part is that we have the house to ourselves," Cate said, blushing slightly. "Mom's at work. Abby's at school. And Lux is at your house."

Baze stared at Cate. The expression on her face told him she was thinking the same thing he was thinking. The same thing he'd been thinking since the night of Winter Formal.

Baze grinned, his eyes skimming Cate's slim figure.

Cate smiled when she felt Baze's lips on hers. The kiss started out soft. Baze deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring Cate's mouth.

Cate tore at his shirt before taking her own dress off. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the black lace of Cate's bra against her golden skin. She always looked good. Today she looked incredibly sexy.

Baze swiftly removed Cate's bra, a skill he'd acquired several years ago. Cate leaned back against the fridge as Baze kissed her neck, working his way down to her chest.

"Mmm," Cate murmured, arching her back against the fridge.

Baze's jeans soon joined the growing pile of discarded clothes on the kitchen floor.

They grasped for each other desperately. Neither of them could wait any longer. They'd waited too long already.

Cate kissed Baze gently, tracing patterns on his chest with her fingers. Her touch was driving him crazy.

"Please tell me you have a condom," Cate said as she worked her way down Baze's stomach.

Baze laughed.

Cate moved to the floor, waiting impatiently. She looked so beautiful laying there waiting for him.

Cate was so ready. She groaned when she finally felt Baze inside her.

Baze's blue eyes watched Cate's face while they were together. He smiled every time she showed a sign of pleasure.

Their bodies were intertwined on the kitchen floor. Their chests heaved as they breathed heavily, perfectly in sync with each other.

Cate rested her head on Baze's chest. She wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Cate fit perfectly against Baze. It felt like their bodies were molded to fit together. Baze had been with a lot of girls and it had never been like this. Like they were meant to be together. Made for each other.

Cate wondered if it had been as good for him as it had been for her. She knew he was more experienced than her. She couldn't help but wonder how she measured up.

Cate had only ever been with Baze. The first time had been awkward. The second time had been pretty much perfect as far as Cate was concerned.

They'd always had chemistry. Now they not only had chemistry, but they were also comfortable with each other. They knew each other. They cared about each other.

Baze had been so gentle. Loving even, Cate thought hopefully.

Baze sighed contentedly. He had to admit, he'd wondered if the passion he'd felt for Cate would fade after they were together again. If being together would get her out of his system. Now that they'd been together, he knew that would never happen. He still wanted her just as badly as he had before.


	31. I Miss You

Baze and Cate sat beside each other on the couch in Cate's living room doing homework. Well, Cate was doing homework anyway. Baze's attention was divided between his daughter and his…Cate.

He didn't really know what Cate was. She hadn't brought it up. In Baze's experience, girls were usually the ones to ask if you were dating exclusively. In the past he'd always dreaded that moment.

He'd been expecting Cate to bring it up. For the first time in his life, he was only interested in one girl. Well, technically two, but the other girl wasn't even one yet and didn't really count. Somehow he didn't think Cate would get jealous of the other girl in his life.

Baze knew Cate wasn't interested in anyone else. And no one else would dare ask her out. Baze had made sure Dewey Johnson kept his distance.

But Baze didn't really know how to make it official. It was the nineties, not the fifties. It's not like Baze was going to ask Cate wear his pin or go steady with him.

He felt possessive of her, but he felt weird calling her his girlfriend. Was she his girlfriend? Baze didn't really know.

He did know he was having a hard time keeping his hands off her. Always, but now especially. They were sitting so close. Their legs were touching and Cate's arm kept brushing against his as she wrote in her notebook. Her scent was irresistible.

Baze's hand caressed Cate's thigh. His fingers crept under her jeans.

Cate moved his hand gently but firmly. "Lux," she reminded him. The baby was in her playpen a few feet away.

"You said she wouldn't remember anything," Baze pointed out.

Cate rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean we can do whatever we want."

Baze opened his mouth to protest.

Cate narrowed her eyes. "I'm not having sex with you in front of our daughter," she said firmly, giving Baze a hard look.

Baze sighed, but held up his hands in defeat. He knew Cate was right. He just wished she wasn't.

He loved Lux, but she was making it hard for him to find time alone with Cate. He needed time alone with Cate. He was having trouble sleeping because he couldn't stop thinking about Cate. She was like a drug that he couldn't get enough of.

"Valentine's Day," Baze said aloud as the thought occurred to him. Valentine's Day was next week. They would go out. They had to go out.

Cate stared at him in surprise.

"I mean, we should do something," Baze mumbled.

"Aren't your parents going out? I'll have to stay in with Lux," Cate said.

Damn it. His parents usually did go out to dinner for Valentine's Day. "Can Abby babysit? She doesn't have a boyfriend."

Cate raised her eyebrows. "Do you _want_ Abby to babysit our daughter?"

"Do you have any better ideas?" Baze said.

"Do you really trust my sister with Lux? Keep in mind, this is the same sister who told the entire school about Lux because she was jealous." Cate reminded Baze.

Baze shrugged. "I really want to go out with you for Valentine's Day. I really, _really_ want some time alone with you."

Cate sucked in her breath. She had a feeling her little sister would be less than thrilled about babysitting so she could have time alone with Baze. "I'll ask her," Cate said doubtfully.

"You won't be sorry," Baze promised.

Valentine's Day would be the first time he actually took Cate out. They'd spent a lot of time in, but he hadn't actually planned a date yet. He would plan the most romantic date ever, Baze decided.

"Don't get too excited. She hasn't said yes yet," Cate warned.

Cate waited until Baze left to approach Abby. She knocked on her sister's door.

"Come in," Abby called out.

Cate sat down beside Abby on her bed. "Can you babysit Lux next Tuesday?"

"Sure," Abby replied absentmindedly.

Cate smiled. "Thanks."

Cate was surprised Abby had been so quick to agree. Maybe Abby had gotten over her crush on Baze.

Cate returned to her own bedroom. Within minutes, Abby stormed in.

"How stupid do you think I am?" Abby asked angrily.

Cate looked up in surprise. "I don't think you're stupid."

"Did you think I wouldn't realize that next Tuesday is Valentine's Day?" Abby said, glaring at Cate.

"Of course not. Do you have plans?" Cate said.

Abby blushed. "No, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna babysit so you and Baze can-"

"I didn't know I had to give you a reason," Cate interrupted. "I thought that maybe if you weren't busy, you would help me because you're my sister and Lux is your niece."

Abby stared at Cate. She'd never really thought of Lux as her niece. She'd just thought of Lux as Cate's daughter. The reason she had grown apart from the sister she used to be so close to. The reason her crush was only interested in Cate.

Lux cried from her crib. Cate started to get up.

"Let me," Abby said, surprising herself and Cate. She reached into the crib and pulled Lux out. She'd barely held her niece.

Lux looked up at Abby with her baby blues. Abby smiled slightly. Lux was a very cute baby.

"Hi," Abby said brightly.

Cate watched Abby with her daughter. She smiled slightly. Abby was looking at Lux the way Cate used to look at Abby.

Cate missed being close with her little sister. She'd practically raised Abby because her mom was usually either too drunk or with her latest husband.

"I'll watch her," Abby decided. She set Lux back in her crib gently.

"Are you sure?" Cate asked skeptically, wondering if Abby was going to change her mind again.

Abby smiled at Cate. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Thanks, Abby," Cate said, meeting Abby's gaze.

"No problem. Hey, why didn't you ask mom? She broke up with the cage fighter," Abby said.

"Would you leave _your_ daughter with Mom?" Cate said doubtfully.

Abby smirked. "No, I guess not."

"She'll probably start drowning her sorrows before Baze and I even go out," Cate said lightly.

"She'll probably be passed out before you get home," Abby added. She hesitated. "Cate, I missed this. I missed you."

Cate knew exactly what Abby meant. She missed her sister, too. "So do I."

Abby grinned. She hesitated before getting into bed beside her sister, like she used to when they were little.

Cate hugged Abby.


	32. Be Mine

"Where are we going tonight?" Cate asked.

"It's a surprise." Baze grinned.

Cate frowned. "How am I supposed to know what to wear if you won't tell me where we're going?"

"Wear whatever you want," Baze said. He didn't plan on her keeping it on for long anyway.

Cate rolled her eyes. "I actually need to know where we're going. Is it casual? Fancy?"

Baze laughed. "Wear whatever you want," he said again.

That was easy for him to say, Cate thought with a tinge of annoyance. Guys could get away with wearing pretty much anything. Cate didn't know if she should be wearing a skirt and cute top or a formal dress. This was ridiculous.

"Tell me," Cate demanded.

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise anymore," Baze said, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

"I don't like surprises," Cate said.

"Surely not all surprises?" Baze asked.

"Yes, all surprises!" Cate said.

Baze grinned boyishly. "Christmas must be horrible for you," he teased.

Cate glared at him. Suddenly an idea occurred to her. "I need to know the phone number so I can give it to Abby."

"I already talked to Abby," Baze said mysteriously.

Cate smiled. Abby would tell her where he was taking her.

* * *

Cate waited anxiously by Abby's locker.

"Hey." Abby grinned as she turned the lock.

"Did Baze tell you where we're going tonight?" Cate blurted out.

Abby smirked. "Yeah," she replied as she pulled a textbook out of her locker.

"Well, where are we going?" Cate demanded.

"I'm sworn to secrecy," Abby said.

"When has that ever stopped you?" Cate muttered. She instantly thought of Abby telling the whole school that she'd been pregnant. Even though she wanted to be close to her sister again, she still couldn't forgive Abby for betraying her.

Abby swallowed. She knew exactly what Cate was talking about. She'd been hoping Cate had finally forgiven her. "My lips are sealed."

"Please?" Cate begged. "This is ridiculous. What am I supposed to wear? I need to know where we're going!"

Abby rolled her eyes. "You are such a control freak. I'm not ruining Baze's surprise."

"I hate surprises," Cate muttered under her breath, glaring at Abby's retreating back.

* * *

Cate stared at her closet. This was impossible. She simply couldn't choose an outfit when she had no idea where she was going.

Cate had narrowed it down to a red silk dress or a black and pink skirt with a black top. The dress was nice. Too nice if Baze ended up taking her somewhere casual. The skirt and top were cute, but Cate didn't know if they'd be appropriate if Baze took her somewhere really nice.

"What do you think, Lux?" Cate asked to the baby in her arms.

Lux felt the red dress with her little hands, rubbing the silk. Cate smiled. "That's what I think, too. Better to be overdressed than underdressed."

Abby leaned against the doorframe and smirked. "Did you really just let a baby choose your outfit?"

Cate glared at Abby. "It's not like you were any help."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Just because I won't tell you where he's taking you, doesn't mean I don't want to help you."

"OK. Is it casual or fancy?" Cate asked.

Abby chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. "I think you should go with the red dress." Abby crossed the room and rummaged through Cate's drawers. She pulled out a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top that Cate slept in. "You might want to take these, too."

Cate stared at Abby in surprise. "We can't spend the night somewhere. What about Lux?"

"I've got Lux covered," Abby replied.

Cate looked doubtful.

Lux began fussing and Abby took her from Cate's arms.

"Hi Baby," Abby cooed. Lux quieted down. "I've got her. Get ready for your date!" She told Cate.

Cate nodded and began doing her make-up. She found a red lipstick she rarely wore buried in her make-up bag and applied it. She put a little more eye make-up on than usual. Finally she slipped the red dress over her head.

"Doesn't Mommy look pretty, Lux?" Abby said, smiling down at her niece.

Cate smiled slightly as she watched Abby with Lux. She hadn't seen this sweet side of Abby in a long time.

"Thanks, Abby," Cate said softly.

Abby met Cate's gaze and nodded.

"Wow." All three girls looked up when they heard Baze's voice. He stared at Cate. "You look really…" He trailed off, unable to come up with a word that accurately described how amazing Cate looked.

Cate smiled. "I can see why you have a C in English," she said lightly.

Baze blushed slightly. He took Lux from Abby. "How's my girl?" He grinned at the smiling baby and held her up, kissing her head.

Baze gave Lux back to Abby and pulled a jewelry box from his pocket.

Cate eyed the jewelry box with interest. She hadn't known what to get Baze. She hoped he hadn't spent too much on her.

"I got Lux something for Valentine's," Baze said.

Cate felt a mixture of disappointment that the gift wasn't for her and contentment that her daughter had such a good, loving dad. She smiled at Baze. Her smile said more than a thousand words.

Baze grinned. He opened the velvet box revealing a silver charm bracelet with one charm, a teddy bear.

"I thought we could, you know, add a charm every year or something," Baze mumbled.

Cate's smile widened. Baze was so cute with Lux. He was like an entirely different person. "I think she'll love it."

Baze grinned. He pulled another jewelry box from his pocket. "Happy Valentine's," he said softly as he handed this box to Cate.

Cate opened the velvet box and gasped when she saw a beautiful gold necklace with three stones. "Thank you."

"It's your birthstone, my birthstone and Lux's birthstone," Baze explained. He helped Cate put the necklace on. As he leaned down, concentrating on the clasp, Cate's scent drifted up. He had a hard time concentrating. Being this close to Cate was driving him crazy. He finally managed to secure the necklace, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin on the back of Cate's neck.

Cate retrieved Baze's gift from underneath her bed. She'd had a really hard time finding a gift for him. She'd been afraid he would spend a lot on her. She didn't want her gift for him to pale in comparison. She knew Baze's parents gave him everything he wanted.

Cate had agonized over what to get him. The only two things she could think of that he loved were Lux and football. She'd ended up tracking down an autographed football jersey from Baze's favorite football player, John Elway, and having it framed. She'd spent more than she should have on it, but she'd really wanted to get Baze something he'd love.

Baze grinned when he saw the framed jersey, his blue eyes shining with excitement. "This is awesome. Thanks!" Baze picked the jersey up. "You ready?"

Cate turned to Abby. "You have the number of wherever it is we're going?"

"Yeah," Abby replied.

Cate nodded. "I already gave Lux a bath and fed her. Diapers are over there." Cate pointed. She bit her lip. She hadn't left Lux with anyone except Baze's mom. What if something went wrong? "If you need anything, just call."

Abby rolled her eyes. "I got it," she said, her voice tinged with annoyance.

Cate hesitated just outside her door. "Even if you don't need anything, call and check in."

Abby and Baze exchanged a glance.

Baze ushered Cate out the door with Cate calling out reminders to Abby over her shoulder.

Abby breathed a sigh of relief when the door shut behind Cate and Baze. She looked down at Lux. "I thought they'd never leave. Your mom is crazy. Yes, she is."

Lux giggled.

* * *

"Are we lost?" Cate asked when they'd been driving for over half an hour.

Baze shook his head.

Cate narrowed her eyes. "If we were, would you admit it? Or are you one of those guys who won't stop and ask for directions?"

"We're not lost," Baze said.

Cate frowned. "It's just, we're not even in Portland anymore."

"We're not going somewhere in Portland," Baze replied.

Cate couldn't tell whether he was annoyed or amused by her concern. She kept her mouth shut for the next half hour. "OK," she finally said. "Are you gonna feed me? 'Cause if we're going across the country, I'm gonna need something to eat. And, FYI, I'm way overdressed for a road trip."

"We're almost there," Baze said. True to his word, he pulled off the highway a few exits later. Cate read the roadside sign.

_Astoria_

_This Exit_

Baze stopped outside an old building. Cate started to unbuckle her seatbelt, but Baze stopped her. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

Cate narrowed her eyes suspiciously but obliged him.

Baze disappeared and reappeared seven minutes later with a bag of takeout food, which he set in the back.

Baze drove through the little town and parked outside a cute little house on the water. "My parents have a cabin here," he explained. "We come here in the summer."

Baze unlocked the front door and held it open for Cate. The furniture was comfortable and the décor was perfect for a house on the beach. Baze led the way to the kitchen and began unpacking their dinner. He'd called to order ahead from a great little Italian restaurant he'd been going to since he was little.

"This is the best Italian food I've ever had," Cate said as she polished off the eggplant parmesan that Baze had ordered for her.

Baze nodded in agreement. "It's my favorite Italian restaurant." He refilled Cate's wine glass with a bottle he'd "borrowed" from his parent's liquor cabinet.

"How often do you come here?" Cate asked curiously.

"A few times a year. My mom loves being by the water," Baze said. He paused in thought. "Lux will love it in a few years."

"Yeah, she will." Cate smiled. She reached for Baze's hand.

"Do you want to see the deck?" Baze asked, grinning.

"Yeah," Cate replied.

He led her back to the deck. Cate instantly noticed the hot tub. Baze saw her gaze and grinned. He'd been hoping they would use the hot tub that night.

Baze put his arm around Cate and led her to the edge of the deck so she could see the view. It was beautiful. They could see the turquoise waves crashing down against the shore.

Cate leaned in to Baze, enjoying his warmth and the comfort of being in his arms. She felt so comfortable here with him. She could definitely imagine bringing Lux there as a family.

It felt as though time was standing still as they cuddled, looking at the water. Baze wrapped his arms around Cate when she started shivering. It was only February and the night air was still cool.

"Do you wanna get in the hot tub?" Baze asked hopefully.

"I didn't bring a swimsuit," Cate said.

Baze grinned boyishly. "Neither did I."

Baze stripped and climbed into the hot tub, waiting for Cate to do the same.

Cate hesitated for a moment before joining him. She stepped down into the water and scooted next to Baze. The hot water felt so good.

Baze pulled Cate to him, kissing her. She looked so beautiful with her golden skin glittering the water. He teased her playfully until neither of them could take it anymore. When he finally entered her, it was just as amazing as the last time.

Cate leaned back against the hot tub, breathing heavily. She felt Baze's hand rubbing her back gently. She felt like she could stay there forever.

The jets automatically turned off after half an hour. Baze got out first. He grabbed two towels from a bin beside the hot tub. He wrapped one around himself before helping Cate dry off.

Cate shivered, the cool air shocking her body after the 102 degree water.

"You're freezing. Go inside," Baze said.

"What are you doing?" Cate asked.

"I need to put chemicals in the hot tub," Baze replied. "Go inside."

Cate waited for Baze by the fireplace in the little living room. Baze brought their clothes in. He smiled when he saw Cate huddled by the fire with only a towel over her. The firelight illuminated her skin, making her look especially beautiful.

"Come here," Baze said softly.

Cate smiled slightly and went to him.

"Have I shown you the bedroom yet?" Baze asked, taking Cate's hand in his.

"I don't believe so," Cate said.

Baze led her to a comfortable-looking bedroom. They sank down onto the old quilt covering the antique bed, making love for the second time that night. Cate fell asleep in Baze's arms, never having felt more content in her life.

Baze watched the sleeping beauty in his arms. Cate was naked except for the necklace he'd given her. At that moment, she felt like his. He knew he wanted her to be his always.


	33. Anything For You

Cate's head was nestled on Baze's chest, his arms wrapped possessively around her when the alarm clock went off. Cate immediately shot up.

She'd gotten used to getting up early with Lux and she knew they needed to get back before Abby left for school.

Baze's eyes fluttered open when Cate broke free from his grip. He hadn't wanted to let go of her.

"Hey," Baze protested, fixing Cate with sad puppy dog eyes. "Come back."

Baze was hard to resist, well, all the time, but especially when he gave her that look. She hoped Lux didn't inherit her dad's pout. Cate would never be able to tell her daughter no if she had. "We're already cutting it close," Cate said, biting her lip.

"Just a few more minutes?" Baze pleaded.

Cate summoned all of her strength and shook her head. She glanced around the bedroom, looking for her dress. "Have you seen my dress?"

Baze smirked as he watched Cate move around the room wearing nothing. Even with no make-up on and her hair tousled from sleep, she looked beautiful. He held up the dress. "What? This dress?"

Cate glared at him, hands on her hips. "Hand it over."

Baze shook his head. "Nah, you're gonna have to come over here and get it." He patted the bed.

Cate sighed and sat down beside him. Baze pulled her to him, kissing her softly. He shifted so Cate was underneath him and would have a hard time getting up. Baze kissed Cate's neck.

"Mmm," Cate murmured. She was trying to think, but her mind was cloudy. All she could think of was how much she wanted Baze.

Baze continued kissing a trail down Cate's body. Cate moaned. It felt like he would never enter her. When he finally did, she cried out in pleasure. She breathed heavily, lying contentedly in Baze's arms.

Baze glanced at the clock. "Crap! We gotta go."

Cate punched his shoulder lightly. "That's what I said…" She glanced at the clock and swore. "Half an hour ago!"

They hastily threw their clothes on. Baze took their bags out to the car while Cate cleaned up the kitchen.

Cate scanned through the radio stations when Baze started his car. She found her favorite morning show and turned the volume up. She'd listened to the show as she ran before school back when she was trying to lose the weight she'd gained from her pregnancy.

"We're taking applications for our summer internship program," Slacker announced.

"Yeah, Slacker's too lazy, so we need someone to pick up the slack," Ken joked.

"I desperately need another girl, so ladies, please send your applications to the station. I'm stuck here with these idiots," Jennifer said lightly.

Cate made a note to look into that later. She'd always been very motivated, but since Lux had come into her life she'd put her own future. She knew she needed to get on top of things if she wanted to have a future.

She'd been waiting for Baze to decide where he was going to college. She cast a sidelong glance at him. "Have you, uh, decided where you're going to college yet?" Cate asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She'd asked him a few times. The answer was always the same. He didn't realize how frustrating it was for her to not know.

"No," Baze replied. "Have you?"

Cate hesitated. Normally she just said no, but this was getting them nowhere fast. She took a deep breath. "Actually I've been waiting for you to decide where you're going. I, uh, didn't know if you wanted me to factor that in." Baze's expression was impassive. Cate quickly added, "Or not."

Baze shook his head. "No, I don't want you to factor me in."

Cate's face fell. She averted her gaze. "Oh. Yeah. OK."

"No, Cate, what I mean is, you should go wherever you want to go," Baze said quickly. "You're smart. You can do anything you want. I don't wanna hold you back. I don't wanna be that guy."

Cate nodded slowly. She knew he was trying to do the right thing, but it didn't feel right. How could it be the right thing if it meant they might no be together?

Baze's ocean blue eyes bored into Cate's chocolate eyes. "I'll do whatever I have to, you know, to be with Lux and you."

Cate smiled slightly, though she couldn't help but wonder if Baze wanted to be with her or if he just wanted to be close to Lux. She immediately felt like a horrible person for being jealous of her own daughter.

Baze grinned. He held Cate's gaze. He realized that what he'd said was true. He would do anything to be with her. He'd never felt like this before in his life. It overwhelmed him.

Every time he looked at her, every time he touched her he knew in his gut that he belonged with her. Whenever they were apart, he wanted to be with her.

Their trip had made him realize what had been right in front of him all along. He loved Cate.

When they'd exchanged gifts, Baze had loved the jersey Cate gave him, but he'd been even happier that Cate loved her necklace. For the first time in his life, he cared more about making Cate happy than making himself happy.

Cate felt Baze's gaze and blushed slightly. "What?"

"Cate, I, uh…" Baze trailed off. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to say the three little words he desperately wanted to say. What was wrong with him? There was no doubt in his mind that he loved her.

"Yeah?" Cate said.

"I, uh, want to be with you," Baze said lamely.

Cate flashed Baze a perfect smile. "I want to be with you, too." She reached for his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

"Will you be OK?" Baze asked when he dropped Cate off in front of her house. They were seventeen minutes late. Traffic had been worse than they'd expected.

Cate nodded. She knew he needed to get ready for school. There was no way they were going to make it to first period as it was. "Yeah. Go ahead."

Laverne was waiting for Cate in the foyer. "Where the hell have you been?"

Cate swallowed. "I was out with Baze."

"Yeah, I know. All night," Laverne said angrily.

"I'm surprised you noticed," Cate muttered. Normally Laverne would have been too drunk to care where her daughters were.

"I'll bet you are," Laverne shot back. She glared at her daughter. "You can't do this."

"Can't do what?" Cate cried out.

"Stay out all night," Laverne spat out, hands on her hips.

Cate crossed her arms in front of her chest defiantly. "Look who finally sobered up and decided to be a parent."

"Oh, and you think you're a better parent than I am?" Laverne asked, venom in her voice.

"Yeah, I do," Cate said.

"I may not be perfect, but I never left you and Abby all night when you weren't even a year old," Laverne pointed out.

"No, you brought your boyfriends home," Cate retorted.

"Your sister was late for school. I had to call in sick to work so I could stay here with your daughter," Laverne said, her tone accusatory.

"I'm sorry!" Cate half-whined, half-shouted.

Laverne's expression softened. "Cate, I know this isn't easy for you. I'm impressed with how good you've been with Lux."

Cate looked up in surprise. "Thanks, Mom."

Laverne nodded. "You've been forced to grow up fast, but you're not a grown up yet. You're still my daughter. I can't allow you to stay out all night. I mean, do you want another kid?"

"No, of course not," Cate said quickly.

"You and Baze, you're getting very serious," Laverne said tentatively.

Cate shifted uncomfortably under her mom's gaze. She blushed slightly. "We're being careful."

Laverne smiled ruefully. "Condoms aren't one hundred percent effective as you know all too well. You need to go on the pill."

Cate nodded slowly, avoiding making eye contact. "OK. OK."


	34. Feeling It Out

**Note: Sorry it took so long to update. I've been really busy. This chapter has a lot of random stuff in it, but it's setting up what's going to happen in the next few chapters. Thanks for all the reviews! =)

* * *

**

Baze was waiting by Cate's locker, glancing at his watch anxiously, when she finally showed up at Westmonte. "Hey. Was everything OK with Lux?" He'd seen Abby in her second period class, so he knew she was no longer watching Lux. He'd been going crazy wondering if Lux was OK, if Cate was OK. It was a good thing Cate showed up when she did because he was actually about to leave to find out for himself. Waiting was driving him crazy.

"Yeah, I just dropped her off with your mom, Cate replied.

Baze frowned. "Where have you been? You missed second period."

Cate rolled her eyes. "My mom decided this morning was the perfect time to give me a sex talk."

Baze smirked slightly. "Isn't it a little too late?" He asked softly, his blue eyes glittering mischievously.

Cate grinned. "Apparently she doesn't want another grandkid. She wants me to go on the pill."

"Oh. Well, uh, you don't have to if you don't want to. We can, you know, be careful," Baze said.

Cate shrugged. "You can never be too careful. It's not a bad idea. If you don't take the source into consideration."

"The source?" Baze said.

"Yeah, a drunk who is drinking her way through her fourth divorce," Cate replied, her tone snide.

Baze smirked. "Well, if she's had four husbands and only has two kids, she must be doing something right."

"True story," Cate muttered.

"I'm so sorry!"

Both Cate and Baze turned when they heard Abby.

"I didn't want to tell Mom, but she was surprisingly sober for a change and she noticed that you were gone and I was watching Lux," Abby said quickly.

"It's not your fault," Cate said gently. "And thanks again for babysitting."

Abby stared at Cate in surprise before smiling slightly. She wasn't used to Cate forgiving her so easily. "No problem."

Baze walked Cate to her next class. He'd spent the whole night with her. He would have thought he'd be ready for a break from her, but he wasn't. He hated to be apart from her even for a few hours. He just wanted to be with her all the time. He couldn't get enough of her. He didn't think he'd ever be able to get enough of Cate.

* * *

As soon as football practice was over, Baze went to Cate's. She was sitting on the couch in the living room writing.

Baze sat down beside her and looked over her shoulder. His forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Why are you applying for a job? Do you need money?"

Cate shook her head. As she did, her soft brown locks brushed against Baze's face. He breathed in her scent. He leaned in and kissed her neck.

Cate closed her eyes and leaned her head back. Baze knew her so well by now. He knew all the right places to touch her, to kiss her. Everything he did felt so good.

Cate set her internship application down and turned to Baze, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her hands through his hair as they kissed.

Abby intentionally coughed as she entered the room with Lux in her arms. "Lux, she, uh, woke up from her nap."

Baze released Cate reluctantly. He took his daughter from Abby and kissed Lux's forehead. "You knew daddy was here and you wanted to see him, didn't you?" He said, grinning broadly at his daughter.

Baze held Lux to his chest as he sat back down beside Cate. "Mommy and I went to your grandparents' beach house. Yeah, we're gonna take you this summer. And when you're older, I'm gonna teach you how to swim and sail." He'd never wanted to be a dad. Well, at least not yet. But somehow he couldn't wait to be Lux's dad. He wanted to teach her how to do things and watch her grow up. She'd already gotten so big. She amazed Baze every day.

Lux instantly cuddled into Baze's chest. Baze smiled down at his daughter. He loved being close to her. She felt so precious in his arms. He was so mesmerized by his sweet little girl, he'd almost forgotten about the job application until Cate resumed filling it out. "Oh yeah…why are you applying for a job?"

"It's not a job. It's a summer internship," Cate explained.

"Do you need money?" Baze asked again. "'Cause, you know, my parents will help you with Lux." He didn't want Cate to have to work to support his kid. He wanted to take care of Lux. He wanted to take care of both of them, he realized.

Cate snickered. "Yeah, right. Internships don't pay. Like, at all. It's basically slave labor."

Baze made a face. "And you're applying for this on purpose?"

Cate laughed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. "It looks good on your resume. What are you doing this summer?"

Baze shrugged. "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."

Cate rolled her eyes. "You're eighteen. Not eight. You're a little old for summer camp. You should get a job or an internship or something."

"I'll have football practice," Baze said defensively. "And I'll figure something else out. I mean, how hard can it be to get an internship?"

"This one is really competitive. The radio station gets over a hundred applications every summer and they only choose one intern," Cate said.

Baze studied Cate. She wouldn't admit it, but he could tell she really wanted it. "You'll get it," he said confidently.

Cate looked unconvinced.

* * *

Baze shifted uncomfortably outside his dad's home office, his stomach tied in knots. He shouldn't be this nervous about having a simple conversation with his father, he thought miserably.

Things had been touch and go with his dad ever since, well, forever, but especially since his dad found out he'd gotten Cate pregnant and looked the other way.

John had always had a short temper. He could be a great dad-when Baze was scoring the winning touchdown. But one screw-up and John lost it, as Baze had learned early on.

Baze took a deep breath and pushed open the door. John was sitting at his desk drinking a scotch and working on his computer. He looked up as soon as Baze entered and frowned. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"Sorry," Baze mumbled. "Are you busy?"

"What do you need?" John asked.

"I just, uh, I wanted to talk to you. I can wait if you're busy," Baze said quickly.

John looked up in surprise. Usually if his son wanted something it was money. Not to talk. He nodded. "What's going on?"

Baze hesitated for a moment before sitting down on the navy leather armchair in the corner of his dad's office. "I, uh, wanted to talk to you about Cate," he said, blushing slightly.

John's expression softened instantly. He was very fond of Cate. "I like her."

"Yeah, so do I," Baze said. He raked a hand through his dark hair. "Actually, I, uh, think I'm in love with her."

John looked taken aback. He knew his son was dating Cate, but he didn't think it was serious. Baze didn't take much of anything seriously.

"I, uh, wanted to tell her how I felt, but I just, I couldn't," Baze continued. "I don't know why." He shook his head. "Actually, I do know why. I don't know how to say it. I feel so…weird saying it. Because you and I, we never say it to each other."

"I don't know why we don't say it more," John mumbled.

"No, Dad, not more," Baze muttered. "You've never once told me that you love me! I mean, I don't know how you can look at me, your kid, and not want me to feel loved. When I look at Lux…" Baze broke off.

John stared at Baze. "I'm sorry. I don't know why." He shook his head. "I never knew you felt like this. But, Baze, I do love you. More than anything else in this world. All I want is for you to be happy. And if Cate makes you happy, you should tell her how you feel."


	35. Changes Everything

"How's Cate?" John asked, as Baze and he walked from the first hole on the golf course to the second. He'd been trying to spend more time with his son since their talk.

Baze grinned. "She's good. She's applying for this summer internship with K100. She's really nervous about it. I guess there are, like, a hundred applicants and they only choose one."

"I know someone in their corporate office. I can make a call, put in a good word," John offered.

Baze looked up in surprise. "Yeah, that'd be great."

"Good." John nodded. "What are your plans for this summer?"

"I don't know," Baze admitted. "I mean, I know I'll have football practice."

"Have you decided which school you're going to yet?" John asked.

"Nah, not yet," Baze replied.

"It's almost summer. You need to decide," John said, his tone disapproving.

"It's just, I'm, uh, kinda waiting for Cate to decide. You know, I wanna go somewhere close. To be with Lux," Baze said.

John's expression softened. "I'm proud of you. I'll admit I didn't think you were ready to be a dad, but you've been there for Lux."

Baze smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'm trying."

"Have you thought about the living situation?" John asked.

Baze's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean most freshman live in the dorms. You can't have Lux in the dorms," John pointed out.

Baze frowned. "No, I hadn't really thought about it."

"If you go somewhere in Portland, you can live at home. Your mother and I can help you with Lux. If not, we'd be happy to take Lux," John said.

Baze stared at his dad. "What do you mean _take_ her? Dad, she's my kid. I want to be with her."

"How are you gonna manage classes and a child without any help?" John asked.

"I don't know. We'll figure it out," Baze muttered.

"You need to think about these things," John said.

* * *

Cate shuffled through her closet. She didn't know what to wear to her interview with the radio station. A suit seemed awfully formal for a radio station, but she didn't want to be underdressed.

She finally settled on a black skirt and a purple silk top. She spent a little bit longer than usual on her make-up. She'd seen Jennifer, the female host, on the morning show in the newspaper and on billboards. Jennifer always looked really glamorous. Cate just hoped she looked good enough. She really wanted to make a good impression.

"Hey."

Cate turned when she heard Baze's voice. He stood in the doorway. He was wearing crisp khakis and a polo shirt because he'd been golfing with his dad, she knew. He'd come straight there to watch Lux because of Cate's interview. "Hey," she replied. She stood, smoothing her skirt. "Do I look OK?"

Baze grinned. "You look better than OK. Are you nervous?"

Cate nodded. "It's just, I really want this."

"Good luck," Baze said.

"Thanks."

Cate left for the radio station earlier than she needed to. She didn't want to get caught in traffic and be late or anything. She listened to K100 as she drove. She ended up getting to the station twenty minutes early. She sat in the car. She didn't actually want to go in this early.

She skimmed through a book she'd bought on resumes and interviewing skills. She'd already read it twice and practiced answering all the questions, but one more time couldn't hurt. As prepared as she was, Cate felt incredibly nervous as she entered the radio station.

"Hi," Cate said, her voice abnormally high. "I'm, uh, Cate. Cate Cassidy. I have an interview." She offered her hand.

"I'm Alice." Alice's expression was unreadable as she shook Cate's hand. She gestured to the chair opposite her desk. "Have a seat."

Cate sat down. She pasted a smile on her face, hoping it didn't look too forced. She was so nervous. She kept running over the answers she'd practiced just a few minutes ago in her head, trying desperately not to forget them.

"So, Cate, do you have any work experience?" Alice asked.

Cate nodded. "Yeah. Uh, yes," she corrected herself, swallowing hard. "I, uh, worked at a boutique, Paula's for a few months."

Alice smiled slightly. "I love that store."

Cate smiled. "They have really cute clothes. I definitely enjoyed the discount."

Alice nodded. "And you're still in school?"

"Yes, I'm a senior at Westmonte. I graduate in May," Cate replied.

Alice glanced down at Cate's resume. "You have a 4.0 GPA. You must be smart. What are your plans for next year?"

Cate inhaled sharply. "I, uh, haven't decided where I'm going to college yet. Probably either University of Oregon or Oregon State."

Alice smiled. "I just graduated from Oregon State."

"Really? Did you like it?" Cate asked.

Alice nodded. "It's a good school."

Cate smiled. There was a moment of awkward silence. She shifted uncomfortably. She felt like she should say something, but didn't know what to say.

"Do you know what the internship here would entail?" Alice asked after a moment.

"I know I would help out during the show and work at some of the events," Cate replied, trying desperately to read Alice's expression. She couldn't tell if it was going well or not.

"You'd be logging tapes, answering calls and making coffee during the show. You'd work from five am until ten am Monday through Friday. You'd also help set up for events and appearances in the evenings," Alice explained. "Does that sound like something you would like?"

Cate nodded. "Yes. I've been listening to the show for awhile now. I'd love to be a part of it."

"What made you interested in radio?" Alice asked curiously.

Cate hesitated, not sure what to say. She decided to just go with the truth. "I had a really hard time last year. I had a lot on my mind. The show got my mind off things. I was able to relax and enjoy myself for a few hours."

Alice smiled slightly. "What makes you think you'd be a good fit?"

Cate took a moment to gather her thoughts. "I'm a hard worker and I really want this internship. I will go above and beyond."

"Do you have any questions?" Alice asked.

Cate felt like she should ask something, but her mind was completely blank. She shook her head. "No," she said, smiling brightly.

Alice's expression was impassive as she stood. "Thanks for coming in. We'll be making a decision in the next week or so."

"Thank you," Cate said, shaking Alice's hand one last time before leaving the office.

Cate sat down in the front seat of her car. Her hands were slightly shaky. She hadn't been this nervous since she met with the Chief of Staff to try to get approval for Lux's surgery to be done pro bono. Cate sucked in her breath.

She honestly didn't know how the interview had gone. Alice was nice, but she was hard to read. It was probably good that Cate was thinking about going to Alice's college, Cate thought hopefully.

Cate smiled when she opened the front door. Baze was sitting on the floor with Lux in his lap. He didn't see Cate. His eyes were focused on their daughter.

"I love you," he said softly, staring at Lux. He held her up and smothered her with kisses. The baby giggled. "Yes, I do."

Baze blushed when he noticed Cate watching. "Were were just, uh… How was your interview?"

Cate sat down beside Baze and took Lux, patting her daughter gently. "I don't know."

"You'll get it," Baze said confidently. "I mean, look at you. You're smart and beautiful."

Cate blushed slightly. "You're not so bad yourself," she said lightly.

Baze's expression sobered. He stared at Cate. He looked like he wanted to say something.

"Baze?" Cate said, frowning slightly.

"I just, uh, I love…Lux." Baze sighed when he still couldn't bring himself to say he loved Cate. "I love being with you guys," he added hastily.

"I love being with you, too," Cate replied, leaning her head against Baze's shoulder.

"We should talk about college," Baze said suddenly. "My dad wants me to decide where I'm going. Have you figured out where you want to go yet?"

Cate shook her head. "It's just, it's such a big decision. I don't want to make the wrong one."

Baze grinned. "Make a pro con list," he suggested.

"Hey, don't mock the pro con list," Cate said defensively. "Alice, the manager at K100 went to Oregon State."

"My dad, he was asking about the living situation for next year. You know, if we both go somewhere in Portland, my parents can help out with Lux," Baze said.

"Would you live at home if you stayed in Portland?" Cate asked.

Baze shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, this isn't exactly what I imagined. I always thought I'd be in a frat house drinking beer freshman year, not a dad." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. He swallowed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, it's OK," Cate said quietly. "I know what you mean. I mean, I love Lux."

"Yeah, so do I," Baze said quickly.

"But I didn't exactly plan on being a mom at eighteen either. It changes everything," Cate said knowingly.

Baze nodded. "Not all the changes are bad. If it weren't for Lux, we wouldn't be together. I can't imagine my life without you guys in it."

Cate smiled slightly. "You brought us together, baby," she murmured to Lux.

Baze slung his arm around Cate and looked down at their daughter. This wasn't what he'd had in mind, but he was happy. He loved Cate and Lux. Even if he couldn't say it.


	36. Picture Perfect

"Do you have any champagne?" Baze called from the kitchen.

"I don't know! If we do, it's probably on the lower shelf of the refrigerator!" Cate called back from the living room. She was sitting on the floor with Lux.

"Got it!" Baze yelled. "Glasses?"

"The cupboard above the sink!" Cate called, smiling slightly. She glanced down at Lux. "Men are helpless," she said quietly. Lux giggled, squirming in Cate's lap.

"Hey, I heard that," Baze said, feigning insult. He popped the champagne and poured two glasses.

Cate nodded toward their daughter. "Look at Lux."

Baze turned his attention to Lux at once.

Lux squealed with delight at the sound of the cork popping. Her parents watched, amused, as her baby blues searched for the cork. She found it and pointed with her little finger. Both of her parents grinned widely.

"Smart kid. She takes after her mom," Baze said. He handed Cate a glass and sat down beside her.

Cate smiled, blushing slightly. "I don't know. Getting that excited about alcohol is more like her dad."

Baze grinned as he held up his glass. "Congratulations."

Cate had just gotten a call from Alice. She got the internship with K100. Baze wasn't one bit surprised, but Cate couldn't believe it.

Cate had looked completely shell-shocked when she hung up the phone. She'd just sat there staring at it. Baze thought something was wrong.

Cate had finally told him the good news. She'd been positively beaming. Baze didn't think he'd ever seen her so happy.

Not for the first time, he'd been surprised at how happy Cate's happiness made him. Anything she felt, he felt as well. It hit him again how much he loved her.

He'd wanted to take her out to celebrate, but Abby was at a basketball game and Laverne was on a date, so they had to stay with Lux. A champagne toast wasn't a half-bad way to celebrate, Baze reasoned.

Cate smiled and raised her glass. She met Baze's gaze and held it as she took her first sip. The way he looked at her scared her sometimes. His gaze was intense, his eyes filled with desire. She leaned forward and kissed him softly. She could taste the champagne in his mouth.

Baze couldn't take his eyes off Cate.

"What?" Cate asked, blushing slightly under his gaze.

Baze took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to say the three little words that were so hard for him to say. "Cate, I'm so happy for you. No one deserves to be happy more than you."

Cate smiled. "You-"

"Wait. Let me finish. I've been wanting to tell you something," Baze said.

Cate frowned in concern.

Baze raked a hand through his hair. "I've known for awhile now. Since Valentine's Day. Maybe even before." Baze swallowed. Why was this so damn hard for him to say? He'd never been more sure of his feelings. "In case you haven't noticed, I can be kinda selfish." Baze smiled slightly. "And it mattered more to me that you liked your Valentine's gift than that you got me an Elway jersey. Your happiness, it means more to me than my own. I've never felt like that before. And now, I think I'm as excited that you got this internship. I love you, Cate."

Cate stared at Baze without saying anything. "You're not selfish. Maybe you used to be, but you've changed. Lux changed you. Baze, you're a great guy. A great dad. A great boyfriend. I love you, too."

Baze felt a huge weight off his shoulders when Cate said it back. She loved him, too. She was the smartest girl at Westmonte. She was beautiful. And she was his. All his. "I didn't change for Lux. I mean, I did, but it wasn't just for her. It was for you, too."

Lux cried and both of her parents immediately turned their attention to her.

"Do you feel left out?" Baze asked, picking his daughter up. "Huh?" He placed a loud, smacking kiss on her forehead and the baby giggled and squirmed in his arm. "We love you, too."

Cate smiled as she watched Baze with Lux. She bit her lip. She loved Baze, but she had a lingering fear that he'd reject her. She knew he'd changed since he knocked her up in the back of his mom's minivan. She knew it wasn't fair to keep punishing him for something he'd done a long time ago. But, the rejected feelings didn't just go away. She knew if he rejected her again, she wasn't the only one who would suffer. She had Lux to consider now.

She didn't doubt his feelings. He'd shown her more than once that he loved her. She'd felt his love for her even before he'd said it. She knew he wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it. He wasn't that guy anymore.

Her feelings for him were so strong. They scared her. They'd scared her since day one, and her fear had only grown as her feelings grew stronger. If she'd been as hurt as she was when he ignored her after their one-night-stand, she knew she'd be an absolute wreck if he rejected her now. He could break her heart. Admitting she loved him only made the possibility more real to her.

Baze looked up from his daughter and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Cate smiled. "Absolutely nothing. Everything is perfect."

Baze studied Cate. She looked genuinely happy, but her eyes were filled with fear. "What are you afraid of?" He cupped her face in his hands.

"It's just, everything is perfect. I don't think it can get much better than this. And I'm just, I'm scared that it could go downhill from here. I love you, but if it doesn't work out between us, I'm not the only one who will suffer," Cate said.

Baze smiled slightly. "I promise you, it will only get better. We'll be in college next year. And we're gonna do it together. We have our whole lives ahead of us. You have to know, I would never hurt you. But if it doesn't work out between us, you know, there is nothing that would stop me from being part of Lux's life."

Cate leaned her head against Baze's shoulder and sipped her champagne. One thing was certain. That night had been picture perfect. She'd never been happier in her life. She sighed contentedly.


	37. Catch 22

**Note: Cate's on the pill now. Laverne suggested it and she told Baze she thought it was a good idea. I wasn't going to write her actually going to the doctor. I thought it would be boring and anticlimactic. That said, this chapter is kind of short and boring, but I'm setting some stuff up. Thanks for all the reviews =) **

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Cate couldn't believe it. Not only had she gotten the internship of her dreams, but the popular quarterback who didn't even used to know she was alive had just told her he loved her as well. She felt giddily happy. She was getting everything she wanted. For once in her life.

She set Lux down in her crib. She leaned on the crib, gazing lovingly at her daughter. She knew Baze would never have given her a second thought if it hadn't been for Lux. Lux was the reason she and Baze were together. Lux was the reason she was this happy.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," Cate murmured.

When Lux drifted off to sleep, Cate picked up the stack of college acceptance letters and course catalogues that had accumulated on her desk. She'd been putting off making a decision for a lot of reasons. Baze had been one. She wanted to be with him. Even though he told her not to factor him into her decision, that they'd make it work, she couldn't _not_ factor him in. He was part of her life and part of her decision.

Lux was also a big part of her life and part of her decision. If she and Baze stayed in Portland, his parents could continue to help with Lux. Cate didn't want to stay in Portland. She was really leaning toward Oregon State University, which was almost two hours away from Portland. She'd been feeling like that even before she found out her boss at the radio station had gone there, too.

Cate also didn't want to take advantage of Baze's parents. They'd already done so much. But Cate knew there was no way she would be able to handle Lux without their help. She would have had to drop out so she could stay home and take care of Lux. There was no way she could afford childcare.

She wouldn't be able to afford anything Lux needed, Cate knew. And Lux needed a lot. Clothes, diapers, formula just to name a few. Cate couldn't believe how much baby clothes cost. Lux was only able to wear the clothes for a few months before she outgrew them.

Cate wanted to take care of herself and Lux. She was used to taking care of herself. She'd had to be. Laverne was usually too drunk to do much for Cate. Cate hated relying on John for money for Lux and Ellen for childcare. She didn't want to need their help.

But when Cate thought realistically about everything she would have to pay for next year, she knew there was just no way she could do it on her own. She'd received scholarships that would cover most of her tuition because she was such a good student, but there were so many other costs to consider. An apartment, books, groceries. And that was just for her.

Cate desperately needed money, but in order to have time to get a job she would have to leave Lux with Ellen even more than she already was. It was a catch-22. It seemed impossible to end her dependence on Baze's parents.

Cate glanced down at the pro-con list she'd made comparing various colleges. Oregon State had won by a landslide when it came to academics. She sighed wistfully. The cons made her choice clear. She would have to stay in Portland. Whether she liked it or not.

Portland State wasn't as good a school as Oregon State, but at least Cate would still be getting a degree. Most teen moms didn't, she knew. When had she become a statistic?

Abby knocked on the door lightly and then flopped down on Cate's bed. "What are you doing?"

Cate held up the college brochure. "Trying to decide what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life."

"And?" Abby asked.

"I think I'm gonna go to Portland State," Cate replied.

Abby made a face. "When you got into Oregon State? Why?"

Cate tried to think of a way to explain that didn't sound like she was blaming Lux for holding her back, but couldn't. She sighed. "This sounds awful. I love Lux. I do," Cate said emphatically. "But, it's just, she's a lot of work. Oregon State is too far away for Baze's mom to watch her when I'm in class."

"It doesn't sound awful. It's honest. Anyone can see how much you love Lux. Kids are a lot of work even when you're not in high school. I would never be able to do it," Abby said.

"Let's hope you won't have to," Cate said pointedly.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Is Baze staying in Portland, too?"

"Yeah. Probably," Cate replied.

"Would you live at home? Or would you guys live together?" Abby asked curiously.

Cate shrugged. "I don't know. I don't want to be here. With Mom." She rolled her eyes. "But apartments are expensive."

Abby nodded. "Have you met Mom's new boyfriend?"

"No," Cate replied. "Have you?"

Abby shook her head. "She's already saying she could see herself marrying him."

"She could see herself marrying anyone over eighteen with testosterone," Cate said dryly.

Abby smirked. "I hope he doesn't move in."

"He's not gonna move in. They haven't even been dating that long," Cate pointed out.

"Tell Mom that," Abby retorted.

Cate smiled sympathetically at Abby. At least she could leave in the fall if she wanted to. Abby was stuck there with their mom and whatever creep she was shacking up with for another three years.

Cate did not want to live at home next year. She didn't even want to live there now. Much less when she was supposed to be away at college. She'd already lived through five of Laverne's so-called marriages and even more boyfriends. She just wanted to get out of there. She didn't want Lux to grow up like she had. She wanted better for Lux.

This house wasn't better. It was toxic. Laverne's drinking problem was bad enough on its own. And her mom's choice in men left a lot to be desired.

Cate's internship would only be in the mornings and sometimes at events in the evenings. She could get a part-time job that summer. Maybe she could even get her old job back at Paula's. She'd really liked working at the clothing store. She wondered how much she could make during the summer.

Ellen wouldn't really be watching Lux any more than she had been. Once school was out, work would be the only time Cate needed to leave Lux with Ellen. And Baze would be more available, too.

Cate would still have to stay in Portland so that Ellen was close enough to babysit, but at least she wouldn't be at home. She just needed to make enough to afford an apartment.


	38. Lean On Me

Cate and Baze sat on Cate's couch watching a soap opera and mocking it mercilessly. They were at Cate's house in the middle of the day. Lux was running a fever and neither of them had wanted to leave her even though they knew Ellen was more than capable of caring for her.

After several panic-stricken calls to the pediatrician, Lux finally seemed to be resting peacefully. She'd been up all night crying. Cate hadn't been able to figure out what was wrong. She'd tried everything that normally calmed Lux down and her daughter had still been giving her lungs quite an exercise.

Eventually Laverne had come in. She'd instantly realized that Lux had a temperature. Cate was grateful, but she was also slightly angry that her mother had been able to pick up on something she hadn't. Lux was _her_ daughter. Shouldn't Cate be the one to know what was wrong? Where were her maternal instincts?

When Cate had called Baze's to tell Ellen she didn't need to watch Lux that day, Baze had answered the phone. As soon as he heard how sick Lux was and how upset Cate was, he'd jumped in the car and headed for Cate's house.

"It's time for her medicine," Cate said, glancing at the clock. She'd been following the pediatrician's instructions to the letter. She'd also been checking Lux's temperature every hour.

"Don't wake her up! She's _finally _asleep," Baze said, horrified. He wanted his daughter to get some rest, but he also didn't know how much more crying he could take. He'd kept thinking Lux would get tired eventually and stop crying, but the baby had seemed determined to prove him wrong.

"She needs her medicine," Cate said, glaring at Baze.

"We can give it to her when she wakes up," Baze replied. Although he was more easygoing now that Lux was sleeping peacefully, he'd been just as freaked out as Cate when Lux had been crying earlier. He'd never seen his daughter like that before.

Lux was a good baby. Like any baby, she cried, but she usually quieted as soon as one of her parents comforted her. It had killed Baze when he'd been unable to comfort her that morning. He would have done anything to make her stop crying. And not just because it was giving him a headache. Baze, however, had taken the doctor at his word that it was nothing to worry about, while Cate was still in freak-out mode.

Cate looked unconvinced. Her eyes wide, she met Baze's gaze. "But what if she gets worse? Baze, what if she has to go back to the hospital? She's already spent so much of her life there." Cate's voice was shaky and Baze could tell she was on the verge of tears.

Baze's expression softened. He reached for Cate's hand. "Cate, that's not gonna happen."

"You don't know that," Cate said quietly.

"No." Baze raked a hand through his hair. He hated being reminded of how sick his baby girl had been. Even more than that, he hated knowing that he hadn't been there for her at first. He should have been there. He hated himself for not being there. For letting Cate take care of their daughter on her own. For letting his own daughter go without a father when she needed one most. "But I know my dad hired the best cardiac surgeon in Oregon to take care of her. Her heart, it's better."

"Yeah," Cate mumbled.

Baze waited for her to meet his gaze. "I can't tell you she's not gonna get sick ever again. But when she does, it's not gonna be like last time. We'll all get through it together."

Cate smiled slightly. "As a family."

Baze nodded.

Cate hesitated. She'd been waiting for the right time to ask Baze if he wanted to live together next year. She didn't know why she'd had such a hard time getting up the nerve to ask. She knew he loved her. He'd want to live together, Cate told herself. Still, in the back of her mind she feared that he wouldn't want to. That he wouldn't want her. She wrung her hands in her lap nervously. "I was thinking, you know, that we could get our own place next year. You, me and Lux. Lux, she deserves to have a family that's together."

Baze stared at Cate. He definitely hadn't been expecting that. Now that he thought about it, he didn't know why the idea came as such a shock. It made sense for them to move in together. He loved her. And he wanted to be with his kid. What better way to do that than live with her? He began to feel kind of excited.

Cate waited for Baze to answer. She took his silence as a bad sign. She swallowed a lump in the back of her throat. "Or not. I mean, if you don't want to, I totally understand," she said quickly, struggling to keep her voice even.

"No, I want to," Baze said gently. He smiled. "I do. It's just, I hadn't even started thinking about where I was gonna live," he added with a laugh.

Cate forced herself to smile, though she still wasn't sure if Baze really wanted to live together or if he was just trying not to hurt her feelings. It bothered her that it had taken him so long to answer.

Baze was able to read Cate like a book by now. He could always tell when she was acting tough, but hurting inside. He'd seen her do it enough times by now. He engulfed her in his arms. "I love you. And I love Lux. I want to be with you…with both of you. We should live together," he said softly. "I wanna do this."

His words were so gentle, so kind, so loving. Cate knew he was being honest. She leaned in to his arms. She was exhausted after being up with Lux most of the night. It felt so good to just lean on Baze for support and comfort.

Last night she'd wanted Baze to be there so badly. She knew if he had been, he'd be able to make her feel better. He always seemed to know just what to say. She'd picked up the phone to call him several times, but decided against it. She didn't think Ellen and John would appreciate her calling in the middle of the night. The way she'd felt being alone last night had made her even more certain that she wanted to live with Baze.

Even before he'd known her, he'd been able to talk her into the back of his mom's minivan when she'd been upset about Frankie Palladino ditching her and wanted nothing more than to get out of there. He was charming. Effortlessly so. He had a way about him of making people feel at ease even when they were anything but.

Now that he knew her-her likes and dislikes, her hopes and fears-and was actually trying to charm her, Cate doubted if there was anything he couldn't get her to do, including calm down when she was in crisis mode because Lux was sick. Surprisingly, it didn't bother Cate that he knew her so well. Usually she pushed people away for fear of losing them. She didn't want people to see how afraid she was. She'd given up on keeping Baze at arm's distance long ago.

Baze knew her, probably better than anyone. When he looked into her eyes, she felt as though he could see into her soul.

"I love you, too," Cate murmured.

Cate drifted off to sleep in Baze's arms. Baze smiled as he watched her sleep. He knew she'd had a rough night. He felt slightly guilty for not being there. He'd been sound asleep while Cate was worried sick about their daughter. That would never happen again. From now on, he would always be there for them. Living together would help ensure he could keep the promise he was making to himself.

If Cate had been this upset over a fever, Baze couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for her when she'd found out Lux had a heart defect. It killed him to know she'd been all alone.

Baze closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch cushions. He tried to imagine how he would have felt if he'd been in Cate's shoes. He couldn't even fathom going through something like that alone. As rocky as his relationship with his dad had been, he knew without question his dad would have been there for him. What kind of a mother would let their kid deal with that alone?

Cate's mom had, Baze knew. He couldn't believe Laverne. How could Cate be such a great mom to Lux when she'd had Laverne as an example? Baze knew Cate would be there for Lux no matter what. He knew he'd do anything for Lux. How could you have a kid and not be there for them?

Baze heard a rustling in Lux's playpen. He opened his eyes. He moved quickly, wanting to get to the baby before she woke Cate up.

Baze gently shifted Cate's head to the arm of the couch as he got up. In one swift movement, he was standing over Lux's playpen. He'd been right. She'd just woken up. He didn't know how he'd known. He just had.

Baze picked Lux up and carried her into the kitchen, so they wouldn't wake Cate. "Hey. How you feeling?" He said softly.

He retrieved Lux's medicine from the kitchen counter and prepared a spoonful. He'd been in charge of giving it to her, mainly because he'd been able to make the baby laugh and slip the medicine in while her mouth was open, whereas Cate hadn't had much luck.

Baze made silly faces until Lux giggled and then made his move. "You are such a good girl!" He said as she swallowed a spoonful of the medicine.

He delivered a loud, smacking kiss to her face. He could taste the cherry medicine, which Lux had managed to get all over her mouth. Baze grinned as he gently wiped Lux's mouth clean. "I hope you got enough of it in your mouth to make you better. Yeah, daddy doesn't like it when you're sick."

Cate stirred. She looked around, confused. She didn't see Baze or Lux. She sat bolt upright on the couch. Where could they be? Had Lux gotten worse? Did Baze take her to the hospital or something?

Cate heard noises in the kitchen and hurried in. She breathed sigh of relief when she saw Baze playing with Lux. She glared at Baze, hands on her hips. "You scared me half to death."

Baze frowned, confused.

"I woke up and Lux was gone," Cate said, staring at him. "I thought something had happened."

Baze opened his mouth in mock shock. He turned to Lux with wide eyes. "No! I would never let anything happen to you!" He grinned. "Tell Mommy we were hanging out in here so she could sleep because she had bags under her eyes." Lux giggled.

Cate rolled her eyes. "Did you give Lux her medicine?"

Baze looked slightly annoyed. "Yeah. I took care of it. I can take care of her, Cate. You don't have to do everything!"

Cate smiled slightly. "I know." She sat down beside Baze at the kitchen table. "Thank you."

Baze knew she was thanking him for being there. He hated that she felt like she _had_ to thank him, but he knew it was his own fault for not being there the first time Lux was sick. Now she didn't expect him to be there. "Of course," he said.


	39. Family Values

**Note: I haven't forgotten this story. School started again, so I don't have as much time on my hands. I'll still update, but unfortunately it definitely won't be as frequent. Thanks for the reviews! :) **

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Baze waited nervously in the hallway. Cate and Lux would be there any minute. Cate and he had decided to tell his parents they wanted to live together next year together. Mainly because Baze had been concerned that his parents wouldn't approve, and he kept putting off telling them. Finally Cate had insisted on getting it done together.

Cate didn't understand why he was so nervous. How could she? Laverne didn't seem too worried about what Cate was doing. Baze's parents had always been very involved in his life. Cate had pointed out that it wasn't like his parents didn't know they were sleeping together. Lux was proof positive that they were. Still, Baze's parents were conservative and he didn't know if they'd be OK with him moving in with his girlfriend at eighteen. Unlike Cate, he actually needed his parents' approval because they would be footing the bill.

Baze opened the door before Cate knocked. He kissed her before taking Lux from her arms. "There's my girl! Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, she slept through the night last night and her fever's been gone for twenty-four hours," Cate reported.

Baze smirked. "Let me guess. You're still taking her temperature every hour on the hour?"

Cate glared at him. "I don't want her to have a relapse!"

Baze laughed as he once again wondered how Cate's parenting style could be so drastically different from her own mother's. Laverne was hands-off, whereas Cate was almost as bad as his own parents. She would definitely be overprotective when Lux was in high school. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

Baze smiled at his daughter. He knew he was a little biased, but he thought she was the most beautiful baby in the world. How could she not be? Cate was beautiful and Baze knew he was no slouch in the looks department either. Lux would be a heartbreaker. If Cate continued to be an overprotective mom, maybe she'd be able to keep the boys at bay.

John and Ellen heard voices and appeared in the foyer. John nodded at Cate. "It's nice to see you again."

"It's nice to see you," Cate said. She meant it. She'd missed Baze's dad. He'd been so kind to her back when Lux was in the hospital. She hugged him.

Baze watched, slightly amused. His dad wasn't really a "hugger." John looked taken aback. After a moment, he hugged Cate back.

Cate hugged Ellen before they all proceeded back to the dining room. Cate offered to help Ellen in the kitchen, leaving John, Baze and Lux alone in the dining room.

John smiled as he watched his son with his granddaughter. Baze had grown up a lot in the last year. John was proud of the man he'd become. Baze obviously loved his daughter. It was hard not to love the baby.

Baze noticed his dad staring and looked up. He smiled slightly. "You, uh, wanna hold her?"

John nodded and took Lux. He beamed as he held her. Baze grinned as he watched his dad. He knew Lux was his dad's little angel. His dad absolutely adored the little girl.

"She's pretty amazing, huh?" Baze said.

John nodded as he met Baze's gaze. "She may not have come into this world under the best circumstances, but she's a good kid and she's made you a better man."

Baze had been prepared to argue before John finished his sentence, but found himself surprised that what had initially sounded like an insult turned into a compliment. He knew his dad was right. Lux had changed him. "Yeah. She's a good kid. I want to be a good dad, you know?"

"I know," John said, holding his son's gaze. "And you are. I'm proud of you."

Baze blushed slightly. "Thanks, Dad."

"Dinner's ready," Ellen announced from the doorway. She took Lux from her husband, so the boys could serve themselves.

"You don't have to take her," Cate said quickly, reaching for her daughter.

"I know I don't have to," Ellen replied. "I want to."

Ellen prepared a plate for herself once everyone else had returned to the table. Lux sat happily in her high chair as everyone else ate.

They made small talk, but Baze had yet to bring up moving in together. Cate had brought up college, hoping it would give Baze an opening, but he hadn't taken it. Finally, she kicked him under the table and shot him a meaningful look. Baze glared at her in return.

Baze glanced around the table nervously. He cleared his throat. Both of his parents stared at him expectantly. "Uh, yeah, so you know how Cate and I have decided to go to college in Portland?"

John and Ellen nodded and exchanged a glance.

"We were, um, talking about our living situation for next year. We can't live in the dorms with a baby, so that's out. So, we got to thinking that it would be great, you know, if we could both be there for Lux all the time." Baze paused, taking in his parents' expressions. He met his dad's gaze. "I want to be there for my kid. I just, I don't want to miss anything. Cate and I, we, uh, we want to live together next year."

Ellen frowned. She shot Cate a disapproving look. "You're only seventeen."

"Almost eighteen," Baze said quickly.

Ellen ignored her son. "You're not married. What morals are you teaching your daughter?"

Cate nearly choked on the sip of water she'd just taken when Ellen said _married_. She stared at Baze wide-eyed. They hadn't been together that long. They weren't anywhere near being ready to get married! She could definitely see herself marrying him someday, but that day would be way off in the future. Cate was not going to get married young. She was not going to end up like her mother-in an endless cycle of marriage and divorce. She would wait until she was ready and her marriage would be forever.

Baze raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know. That we care about her and it's important to be there for each other." He made a face.

"It's not a bad idea," John said.

Baze looked up, surprised. His dad was usually his harshest critic. He hadn't expected his dad to support him, while his mom disapproved. He smiled slightly.

"Lux needs a family. She deserves to have both of her parents there for her. It's not ideal, but at least Nate and Cate are trying to be there for her," John continued. "They obviously love that little girl."

Cate nodded. "We do. All we are trying to do is give her everything she deserves."

John nodded. "I'm OK with it if this is what you both want."

Ellen sighed. She began clearing the table. Cate jumped up to help.

"You don't have to do that," Ellen said quickly.

Cate frowned. "No, I want to." She'd never developed the close bond with Ellen that she had with John, but they'd always been friendly with each other. Ellen's demeanor was different now. Cool.

Cate wanted Baze's mom to like her. Not only did she need Ellen's help with Lux, but she also didn't want what was quite possibly her future mother-in-law to resent her.

Cate insisted on helping Ellen with the dishes, but Ellen continued being short with her. Cate breathed a sigh of relief when Baze appeared.

"Lux is down for the count. You should take her home," Baze suggested. He knew his mom didn't approve of him moving in with Cate. He'd had a feeling she might be taking it out on Cate. From Cate's expression, he knew he'd been right.

Cate mouthed _thank you_. She turned to Ellen and forced herself to smile. "Thanks for having us. Dinner was delicious."

Ellen nodded, but didn't smile.

Baze balanced Lux in one hand and used his other hand to gently guide Cate toward the door. He walked her out to her car. He set Lux down gently in her car seat while Cate strapped the baby in.

"Your mom hates me," Cate muttered.

Baze frowned. "She doesn't hate you."

Cate looked unconvinced.

Baze smirked. "I mean, you're not exactly her favorite person."

"What did I do?" Cate cried out indignantly.

"You corrupted her only son," Baze replied.

Cate hit him playfully. "I think it was the other way around," she retorted. "Her son lured me into the backseat of her minivan with Zima."

"Who? Me?" Baze said, feigning innocence.

Cate glared at him.

Baze smiled slightly. "Look, my dad always thought I was a screw up. My mom, she didn't. It's harder for her to accept everything that's happened in the last year."

"My mom thought I was a good kid. It was hard for her to accept that I was pregnant at sixteen. But she got over it," Cate muttered.

"Yeah, but it's different for my mom," Baze said.

Cate stared at him. "Yeah, I noticed. My mom treats you better," she snapped. She didn't know why she felt the need to stick up for her mom. Her mom hadn't done nearly as much for her in the last year as Baze's mom. But, Laverne had always been polite to Baze.

Baze made a face. "What's that supposed to mean? My mom, she's the one who helps us with Lux. Your mom sure as hell doesn't."

"No, she doesn't," Cate admitted. "But she _does_ know that it takes two people to have a baby! It's not like I got myself pregnant and then tricked you into moving in with me!"

"No one's saying that!" Baze cried out.

"It's just, your mom, she acts like this is all my fault," Cate said.

"It's not anyone's fault, Cate. There's no one to blame. There's no blame even. Sometimes thinks just happen, you know. Lux, she's one of those things. She came into our lives and she changed them," Baze said.

Cate smiled slightly. "That's one thing we agree on."

Baze met her gaze. "We agree on a lot more than that." He hugged Cate. "My mom, she just needs a little time to cool off."

"Do you think she'll cool off before Monday? Or should I be looking for someone else to watch Lux?" Cate said.

Baze frowned. "She'll watch Lux. My parents love her. Whatever happens with my mom and you, with my mom and me even, they'll always be there for our daughter."

"She has a lot of people that love her," Cate murmured.

"I love her and her mother," Baze said, grinning. He kissed Cate before opening the car door for her.


	40. The Graduates

"Will you zip me?" Cate asked.

Abby nodded. She zipped Cate's white sundress. "You look nice."

"Thanks," Cate replied, offering her sister a smile.

"Are you sad?" Abby asked, watching as Cate applied make-up.

Cate turned around and stared at Abby, smiling slightly. "No. I hated high school. I'm ready to be done."

Abby frowned. "Its just, people usually cry at graduation."

"Well, if I cry, I can guarantee you it will be tears of joy," Cate replied.

Lux chose that moment to whimper from her crib. Cate scooped her daughter up. "If anyone cries, I'm guessing it will be Lux."

Abby grinned. "Or Mom because she has to go a whole two hours without wine."

Cate met Abby's gaze and smiled. "It might be three." Both girls laughed.

Cate carried Lux over to the closet. "What do you want to wear?" She asked the baby as she skimmed the contents of the closet.

Cate was being honest when she told Abby she was ready to graduate. She'd hated high school. This last year had been more bearable. Baze made everything better. Even Westmonte. Still, Cate was ready to leave the people who thought she was the biggest dork in Portland behind. Excitement coursed through her as she realized how close she was to never seeing the people who had made her life miserable for four years again.

Cate wasn't ready to bring her daughter to a high school event, though. She'd been dreading everyone at school seeing Lux. She'd even suggested that they skip graduation altogether, but surprisingly Laverne had insisted on attending the ceremony. It would be one of the only school events Laverne had ever attended.

Cate knew it was silly to get this worked up. It wasn't like her classmates didn't know she had a kid. Abby had told everyone. As a result, Cate's final year at Westmonte had been even worse than usual because of comments about her getting knocked up. Cate could handle it. She didn't know if she could handle the whispers and stares being directed at her daughter, though. She hugged Lux closer, wanting to protect her daughter from everyone and everything bad in the world.

Abby held up a pink dress. "Do you like this one?"

Cate made a face. "No." She always thought her daughter looked beautiful, but she wanted Lux to look her best today.

Cate rummaged through the closet, looking for Lux's navy and white dress. She found it in the back. She dressed Lux and held her daughter up. "You're gonna be the prettiest girl there," she murmured softly. She kissed the smiling baby.

Cate packed a bag for Lux. "Are you sure you don't mind taking her for the ceremony?" She asked Abby.

"I told you I would," Abby replied, her tone slightly annoyed. She studied her sister. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah," Cate replied.

"Why do you want me to take her?" Abby said.

"You mean, instead of Mom? She's pre-gaming graduation!" Cate said incredulously. Her mom had been drinking Mimosas all morning. Laverne claimed it was to celebrate. Cate was pretty sure it was just to get drunk before the ceremony. She hoped her mom wouldn't do anything embarrassing like fall down the stairs at the arena.

"No, instead of Baze's mom. You usually ask her to help first, you know? I mean, you know how much I love hanging out with Lux. I don't want you to think I mind taking her because I don't. I was just surprised is all," Abby explained.

Cate met Abby's gaze. "I don't ask her first because I don't want you to watch Lux. I ask her first because I don't want you to miss out on things. You're a kid. You should be having fun. Not taking care of a kid."

"So should you," Abby said quietly.

"I don't regret having Lux," Cate said quickly. "But I'd be lying if I said I haven't missed out on things because of her. I don't want you to miss out on things because of my kid."

"My niece," Abby reminded Cate.

Cate smiled. "And it's not just that. Baze's mom wasn't exactly happy that we're moving in together. I really don't want to ask her for anything right now."

"I thought she liked you," Abby said.

"It kinda seems like she hates me," Cate muttered.

"What did Baze say?" Abby wondered.

"It's hard for her to accept everything that's happened," Cate replied, her tone bitter.

"Everything being Lux?" Abby pressed.

"Lux and me," Cate muttered.

"You?" Abby frowned. "You're a step up from Baze's usual type."

"Blonde?" Cate smirked.

"I was actually going for brain dead." Abby grinned.

Cate smiled slightly. "But Baze wasn't planning on moving in with any of them."

"Have you told Mom yet? I mean, that you guys are gonna live together?" Abby asked.

Cate sighed. "No, but, I mean, I'm not really worried about it."

"Yeah, she'll probably think congratulations are in order," Abby said.

"Not until there's a ring on my finger," Cate said lightly.

Abby's eyes widened. "Are you guys gonna get married?"

"No!" Cate said quickly. "I was just kidding!"

Abby looked unconvinced.

"Because Mom, you know, she's kinda a big fan of marriage," Cate continued.

"I thought she was a big fan of divorce," Abby retorted.

"That too."

* * *

"Hey." Baze grinned boyishly and pulled Cate to him, kissing her softly. "Where's Lux?"

"With Abby," Cate replied.

Baze frowned. "My mom could've taken her."

Cate rolled her eyes. "If I remember correctly, you didn't have a problem with Abby watching Lux when you wanted to go to your parents' cabin for Valentine's Day."

Baze's frown deepened at her tone. "It's just I don't think she's the best choice when we have other options."

"I wouldn't leave Lux with Abby if I thought anything bad would happen," Cate said defensively.

"No, I know!" Baze said quickly. Before he could say anything else, the graduating seniors were instructed to line up in alphabetical order. Cate and Baze were close to each other, but there were still several students in between them.

Baze found his place in line by another football player. They began talking about college, but Baze's mind was on Cate. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. She definitely hadn't been happy with him, though.

Cate shifted uncomfortably in between a cheerleader and football player. She didn't know them well, but they undoubtedly knew she was the loser who'd gotten knocked up.

The ceremony felt like it dragged on forever. It was unusually hot for Portland and the black robes didn't help. Cate kept darting glances backwards, searching the crowd for Lux. The arena was packed. Cate couldn't find her daughter in the crowd.

Cate breathed a sigh of relief when the ceremony finally ended. She joined the mob of students heading for the parking lot to find their families. All she wanted was to get out of there and hold her daughter.

"Cate!" Baze called. He'd hung back to wait for her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the crowd.

They were surprised to find both of their families waiting together. Laverne was trying to make small talk, but Ellen looked bored out of her mind.

Laverne and Ellen snapped pictures of Baze and Cate together. John handed Lux to Cate, so they could get a picture with their daughter, too.

"Can I get a picture of Nate with Lux?" Ellen asked.

Cate couldn't believe Ellen, but she obliged, moving out of the picture.

Two of Baze's best friends descended on him, wanting to get a picture together. Baze handed Lux to Cate and took off with his friends.

Cate scanned the crowd for Alice. She would have liked to get a picture with Alice, but deep down she knew Alice didn't count her as a good friend anymore. The girls had remained friendly, but Cate couldn't do anything ever, so Alice had grown closer to people who could. People who didn't have a baby to take care of. Cate gave up when she saw Alice with three other girls from their honors classes. She would only feel like an intruder if she approached them.

Cate blushed slightly. She was the only teenager standing alone with a group of adults. Everyone else was with their friends. For the first time since she and Baze started dating, Cate felt alone.

"It's so hot. I should get Lux out of the heat," Cate said, wanting an excuse to get out of there.

John smiled warmly. "Congratulations Valedictorian. We'll see you at the party."

"Thanks. Yeah, see you later," Cate mumbled.

The last thing Cate wanted to do was go to Baze's graduation party that evening. It would be difficult to avoid Ellen at the Bazile's house. To make matter's even worse, Baze's party would be filled with people who loved him and barely knew she existed. Cate wondered if she could tell Baze she didn't feel well.

Baze hurried back to his parents. He frowned. "Where's Cate?"

"She left," Ellen replied.

"She wanted to get Lux out of the heat," John added helpfully.

Baze's face fell. All he wanted to do was celebrate with Cate, but he felt like he'd only gotten a few minutes with her. She kept disappearing. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was bothering her. She'd been stand-offish to say the least. He didn't know what he'd done wrong, but he wanted a chance to make it right.

Baze couldn't wait to start the next chapter of his life with Cate. He was so excited to move in together and start college. He wanted to share his excitement with Cate. Why didn't she seem excited?


End file.
